SRS BF thinks hes too good for me

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Bedroomeyes202, Mar 1, 2006.

  1. Bedroomeyes202

    Bedroomeyes202 New Member

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    SO, After a year of being with my boyfriend, i find out, that he thinks im not :in his league: NOT in the good, in the - im "settling" for her way, and it was like a page long post about whether he should stay with me since im good in bed, and treat him better than a "hot girl" would, and since i have no :social life: since im going to LAW SCHOOL, and have no time to get high on tuesday night...... advice?
     
  2. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Hmm.. Did he actually improve himself or something? If no, he's trying to find a way to leave you I assume. If he did improve himself, obvious now he's cocky/confident with a mind that's telling him he can get so much better now. But what he needs to realize, no matter what new girl he gets, she's not gonna be you. So you need to keep him reminded of why he liked you in the first place. Gl :)
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Tell me the reasons why YOU want to be with HIM.
     
  4. Bedroomeyes202

    Bedroomeyes202 New Member

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    hes been the same! theres been no major changes in his life.....

    when we ARE together, things are great, and he acts like he cares, and he will sit there and be like, your so pretty and things, and i actually FELL for it.... he lives in a house with 4 SINGLE guys, who DONT have gfs so they always want to go out with him, and he is torn between the single, i dont give a fuck, life, and the- wow i love this girl life.... and he has a HARD time keeping them seperate

    hes a good person, but he tries to please TOO many people
     
  5. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Perhaps I'm confused...........he thinks he's better than you because you don't have time to get high with him? Is your boyfriend 15? It sure sounds like it.

    Lets examine, you are going to law school and will have a future, he's worried about getting high this week...............yup he sounds like a winner. My advice would be to dump him and move on.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Its time for you to make a stance, either he chooses for his friends, or spending quality time with you. Its basically a duel more between you and his friends in spending time with him then in the 'your not in his league' item, because he wouldn't be with you if you where 'out of his league' in the first place.

    I think that you will be in a lot of trouble as long as his friends are around, i doubt he will be willing to give up his friends. So its an issue of him showing his commitment to either you or his friends.

    I think that if he shares time 'enough' with you , you should take that for granted, and just also let him spend time with 'his friends'. Maby you are claiming too much time from his side for your own personal needs, and need to understand that he isn't ready for commitment on the level yet that you desire. I personally think that the more time progresses, he will most likely become more committed to you. (although i have to admit there's a risk factor in that).

    What i would do if i where you , i would go complain to him, if he doesn't spend enough time with you, and doesn't take you in high esteem, then i would stop your commitment to him and move on. Next to that if he does show enough commitment, and does spend enough time with you, then i think you should also allow him to have some quality time with his friends.

    Although it will continue to be a conflict situation between you ,him and his friends, its up to you to try to find a delicate balance , and weigh out if the situation is worth staying in.
     
  7. Bedroomeyes202

    Bedroomeyes202 New Member

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    yeah, i talked to him about it earlier, and he was mortified that i saw the post, and said it was the worst thing he could imagine since he knew it could be a relationship-ender.
    I told him he needs to really work on this relationship and my feelings if he wants to have any chance of me sticking around.... waiting to see what he says
    :ughd:
     
  8. is3lost

    is3lost New Member

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    I think after reading that post, you should end it immediately. That is so degrading.
     
  9. johan

    johan Active Member

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    All you've told me is that you're emotionally bonded to him, but that the kind of person he is, the things he enjoys and partakes in, and the lifestyle he lives doesn't sound all that great.

    Meaning, you like him, you feel attached to him, but he sounds like a poor match.

    Not to be too utilitarian about this, but tell me exactly WHY you're with him?
    I don't see a great future here. Maybe you ought to think on it.

    Now before you think I'm reducing this all to some sort of pluses/minuses balance sheet emotionless deal, I'm not dissing the power of LOVE to triumph, past circumstances, past differences, past all sorts of things.

    Indeed, real deep love can see past all that.

    But I'm not seeing that kind of love described in your words here. Tell me I'm wrong.
     
  10. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Why don't you let him go find the hot girl of his dreams while you build the life YOU want? I'm not saying this with any animosity. If he feels that he's settling for you, then he's not giving you as much respect as you deserve, and he's not completely happy. There's no sense in carrying on a relationship where both parties aren't satisfied, so either fix it (unlikely, since it seems that he's the one with the problem) or break it off.

    You might find that he wasn't your ideal, after all.
     

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