bestfriend dating sister

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Chemo, Dec 14, 2008.

  1. Chemo

    Chemo New Member

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    at one point and time your sister tells you to never go out with any of her friends,and a few yrs later she goes out with your bestfriend,and neither one of them can tell you they are going out..........who's wrong in this situation.....the bestfriend,the sister, or both.....or am i in the wrong for some strange and crazy reason?
    sister and bestfriend are both same age,if that makes any difference. i have re-occuring issuses with this relationship,and i'm the only one that feels a little backstabbed here.am i over-reacting?

    isnt there man law that says a bestfriend wont date a bestfriends sister?
     
  2. razi

    razi New Member

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    Give him the requisite "hurt her and I'll kick your ass" speech, then get over it and be glad they're happy.

    (then go bang one of her friends ;) )
     
  3. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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  4. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    That is one thing I've never understood.

    Given some of the dicks my sister went out with over the years I would have been much happier if it was one of my friends. I know what they are like and all that, so I know they wouldn't hurt her as much.

    Just seems really weird to me.
     
  5. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    Provided the guy doesn't tell you about the new girl he fucked every Fri, Sat night, can't be too bad. Well, unless he cheats or beats her or something
     
  6. Chemo

    Chemo New Member

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    im not standing in their way,they did what they wanted and continue to do so.when they started this,they were 18/19ish

    im just going on the morals of my sister telling me not to date her friends and then it becomes right for her to date mine,and for my bestfriend to hide it and not try to be honest with me
     
  7. Chemo

    Chemo New Member

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    wouldnt know,not exactly friends with the guy anymore........soon as he started dating the sister,he was no longer a bestfriend.
    a best friend wouldnt call looking for your sister then look to hang out with you in the same sentence if your sister wasnt around.....would they??
     
  8. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Shit happens. The way you've reacted I can understand why they might try and hide it from you.

    As for calling to speak to her rather than you, he probably preferred the options presented from hanging out with her rather than you if you get what I mean. It happens. I've dated friends sisters. Some were cool about it. Some were absolute immature douchebags about it.
     
  9. Chemo

    Chemo New Member

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    so your saying im a immature douchebag....:fawk:
     
  10. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Man law clearly clearly states that he should have run it by your first. ask for permission might be a little strong, but the respectful thing would have been to at least try to get your blessing and be the one to tell you.

    Sounds like a shitty friend
     
  11. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Dunno about that, going by the reaction would probably have been hard to have the discussion with him no matter when it was raised.

    :dunno:
     
  12. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    I'd really see no problem with one of my friends (as long as he wasn't one of my douchebag friends) dating my sister, as long as it's understood that he's not to discuss any of their sexual adventures front of me. I guess it's hard to say though considering I don't have a sister.
    But I have alot of female friends and I wouldn't mind if any of them dated my brother, as long as it wasn't a girl I was interested in myself.
     
  13. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Still should have tried. I mean some random guys or someguy you "know" is one thing. but a "friend" should try to get permission.

    Im not getting into the whole bros b4 hos thing or anything like that, and I don't realistically think you can stop people from doing what they want to when it comes to their love lives, but his friend still should have come to him first.
     
  14. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    wtf get permission?

    Next you'll be telling me I need to approach a girls father before I ask if she wants to come to dinner with me.

    The way I see it, and the way I saw it, they are old enough to make their own minds up about what they want out of life. If they want to date, then they want to date. If they don't, they don't.

    Why should how I feel about someone going out with my sister have any input into how she feels about a person (obvisouly excluding an abusive relationship etc etc etc)?
     
  15. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    You are being ridiculous about this. If someone is a friend, they should run it by you before they eat your last burger, or drink your last beer. Your sister? Definitely warrants a conversation. You are seriously telling me that if one of your friends (you know, the one who is going on and on about how funny it is to try to get it in girls' eyes when you are finishing on their face) starting dating and having sex with your mother, and kept it a secret from you, that you would be completely ok and still consider that person a friend?

    Is he being immature about it? yes. Should his friend and his sister do what they want to do? yes. That being said it is extremely disrespectful to fail to have the discussion about something like this.

    Sure they guy isnt happy to hear about it, but in the end it might just come down to "I like her and she likes me and we are goin to do this. sorry you don't agree" and the friendship might be over. By sneaking around the friendship is totally over without even an attempt to handle it in an honest way.



    Do you have any real male friends? Didn't you say you hang out mostly with women? you are completely ignoring the fact that the person has an existing relationship, friendship, that is going to be impacted by this decision, and a friend whos feeling are going to be impacted. Thats why he deserves to be informed at the very least.
     
  16. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Yes, I have a number of male friends. I also have a number of female friends. Whatever the fuck that has to with anything. And I think my father would have more of a say in the matter, considering they are still married.

    I can understand why it's a good idea to bring it up, but by the same token i can understand why it wouldn't be brought up. Some guys get overly protective. And would fly off the handle either way. Not saying it's the right approach, just that I udnerstand why you'd do it that way.

    And I don't tend to stay friends with people who are tools. Therefore my hypothetical friend is likely to stay a pure hypothetical. But looking if it was they type of person I'm friends with then I wouldn't, and I haven't, have an issue with it. In fact, my sister has been going out with a friend of mine for the past 6 years without it being an issue. They didn't tell me for the first month as they weren't sure if it was going to work out, then it did and I'm happy for them. He's a great guy and treats her well.
     
  17. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    howd you find out about it?
     
  18. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Was out on a secret date with one of her friends.
     
  19. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    I agree with antihero it's best to be brought up beforehand, but I also wouldn't have any problem with it if I thought the person would be good for my sister. And if someone is really one of my "best friends," I would have a good handle on that.

    A couple of my guy friends I think would be the best thing that could happen to her, a few of my guy friends I wouldn't want dating my sister in any circumstances whatsoever [for her sake, not mine].

    My sister and I are close enough in age, that there have been times too where her guy friends were interested in me and she didn't approve, or gave the seal of approval, etc.

    It's just courtesy.
     
  20. Buck something?

    Buck something? New Member

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    i am actively trying to bang my sisters friends, and one time she kissed one of my friends and i punched him :dunno: double standards FTW


    Honestly, I would be HEATED at your best friend. absolutely fucking livid.
     
  21. dan7532

    dan7532 New Member

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  22. Televandalist

    Televandalist New Member

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    I don't really think that it matters, is it really disrespect to want your personal life personal?
     
  23. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    its not your personal life. It affects the friend, and the friendship. Man am i glad im not friends with some of you.
     
  24. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    I understand getting caught up in the whole he didn't tell me arguemnt, but why would someone going out with your sister affect any other relationship?
     
  25. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    doing it right shouldn't affect it, if you treat the sister right and the brother is a sensible adult. Doing it wrong and sneaking around, lying to cover it up, etc... thats a huge betrayal of trust. Not the best way to convince a guy you are good for his sister.

    But like it or not its family and it does make things a touch more complicated. Mature adults should be able to handle it, and even grow to be completely 100% happy that friends and family are both happy. At some point, just for a moment, everyone is going to feel like their sister stole their friend, or a little protective of the sister or something like that.
     

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