Best way to tell an ex you don't want to see them anymore?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Boudreaux, Dec 17, 2007.

  1. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    Just got home from dinner from over at the ex's house. I generally feel like she doesn't respect me, and i feel that way based on the way she gives me shit about everything. Its one thing if its every so often and amidst a light hearted conversation, but its another when everytime i spend time with her she is distant and the only "conversations" we have are her "just joking around", but its costantly giving me a hard time.

    So tonight she mouthed off a little bit, and it was after she asked me to go out of my way and bring her dad some banana pudding, no problem, its right next to work. But she had to make some snide comment about how my work schedule is so lax its no wonder i'd be able to do it...

    ...did i take it too personally, yeah, probably, and i admited it, but a "thank you" or "thats nice, i appreciate it" BEFORE taking cracks at me like she loves to do seemingly ALL THE TIME, i wasn't in the mood.


    To make a long story short, i'm obviously still really attached to her, and its pissing me off, and i'd be able to get over it i guess if she would treat me like she does everyone else the majority of the time. I told her i want her to talk to me about things that are making her depressed, or at least not make it seem like she is taking it out on me by taking pot shots at me constantly.

    She said "we don't have a friendship, we never hang out" and while thats majoritaly true, i have been busy with finals and stuff.

    Ugh, i'm pretty upset right now, and this post is probably all sorts of rambling, but how do i convey this to her without making it seem like i just can't get over her, its also because i don't want to spend time with someone who continuously treats me with disprespect, and doesn't realize she's doing it because she's been doing it for so long, and i was unable in the beggenning to stand up for myself when she crossed the line....


    Cliffs:
    How do i tell an ex i've been trying to be "Friends" with that i don't really want to talk to her anymore?
    Face to face? Email? text? how much explination do i give to her? Cold turkey?

    sorry for the :rant: i feel like such a pussy...
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I'm curious as to why you feel you need to "tell" her this at all.

    Just stop hanging out with her, don't answer when she calls, etc.

    Do you really think that if you say I don't want to be friends with you anymore", she will just say "Ok, that's fine, bye"?
     
  3. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    but is this "ignoring" kind of assholish behavior? -although a response would be "why would you care if she thinks that"

    If i told her I didn't want much of anything to do with her she would acually pretty much say "oh, alright, if thats how you feel there is nothing i can do about it", she is the most apethetic person i know...
     
  4. armond

    armond New Member

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    you are EXs for a reason I take it?

    Face-to-face, man up...
     
  5. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    face to face i'm not soo good with my words, and i was close to saying it tonight, but she was trying to rush me out the door...always has to be on her terms...:rant:

    but one side of me doesn't even want to give her the pleasure of talking to me again...
     
  6. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    This is probably the best advice for this thread.
     
  7. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    Truth. I am worried about the power she has over me, and it does bother the shit out of me. Sometimes i can let the things she says roll off my back, but thats usually only after she's been civil to me.

    I've been able to tell her to stop talking to me certain ways a couple times, and its felt great and i've seen the results i've wanted, obviously i'm not 100% there yet...
     
  8. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    No, it's not asshole behavior. When people don't want to associate with someone, they don't answer their calls, don't go out with them, etc.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'm going to assume this is the same ex that you wrote about not too long ago and I said the same thing in that thread that I will now...STOP TALKING TO HER. You guys broke up for a reason and you aren't moving on because you guys still talk to each other all the time, which leads to you giving a shit about what the other thinks and feels.
     
  10. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    ignoring = dumping
     
  11. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    elaborate on what you mean here...
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    :ugh:
     
  13. giapia

    giapia Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you re

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    cold turkey. just eradicate from her life. completely. no warnings. just do it. now.
     
  14. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    Sounds like there is more to this than meets the eye... but after my ex and I broke up, I really wanted to be friends with him and truly had no feelings for him, I don't know what I was thinking in the first place. But he still had feelings for me and was keeping up contact in the hopes that he would still be a part of my life and that maybe some day we would reconcile. Sounds like you are doing the same thing. And if you aren't, then you won't have a problem removing her from your phone and finding some new friends to spend time with.

    Whenever I am having a problem with a friend, I think to myself "What am I really getting out of being with this person?" and if it takes me longer than 10 seconds to answer, I don't call them to hang out. Try that. See what the answer is.

    No 'outs' here, bro, take a hike from this chick.

    DA
     
  15. crown royal

    crown royal Active Member

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    Post of the thread.



    (Thread starter's roommate here)
     
  16. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    I think one of my biggest problems is that I still care a lot about what she thinks of me. I know if i just up and stop talking to her she's going to think i've given up on trying to make a friendship work...

    she said her self "we aren't friends, we never hangout"...and this was after i asked if she could hang out 3 times that week. She also made me feel like she was indifferent to if we could have a friendship.
     
  17. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    You can't be friends with her if you're not over here.

    Period.

    Tell her that.
     
  18. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    :ugh:

    Why?
     
  19. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I know you may have an arguement all prepared to show that there are instances where two people can remain in contact with each other and be friends, but here, in this thread, with this thread starter and based on the history here, don't bother.

    He can't be friends with this girl, even if it can happen with other people, the threadstarter needs time away from her to get over her.
     
  20. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    You agree with his entire statement?

     
  21. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    i see what you did there...

    but if i tell her that, she's just gonna give me crap about having an deafetest attitude, but then again, why should i care what she thinks?!
     
  22. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    But you just said that you do care what she thinks... so that's not something you can just turn off. You can't eliminate your feelings in any circumstance without risk of further damage (like more denial or repression), so you are kind of stuck if you aren't willing to try anything.

    You ask what we would do in the situation and when you hear the response you say "But I can't do that!" So that's your answer, if you don't want to do anything about this, then you won't. And you'll live with the situation like you have been. If it's enough so that you take our advice and try one of the suggestions here, you will most likely be happier.

    /my input.

    DA
     
  23. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    I never said i can't do that. I'm just saying that its a conflict of giving a damn about what she thinks, ya know?
     
  24. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Wow.

    Who cares what she thinks?

    I think it's hilarious that she says you guys aren't friends, but if you decide to pull away from her for good she'd give you shit about giving up on a 'friendship.' That's her playing games, and you play right along.

    You need to sack up otherwise you're going to encounter this shit more and more when you date girls.
     
  25. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    yeah :hs:

    she just texted me to ask if i could hang out or if i was at work :hsd:

    first contact since the argument...
     

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