SRS Best way to break up with someone?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ancoats, Jul 14, 2007.

  1. Ancoats

    Ancoats New Member

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    Back story.

    I have been with my current girlfriend for over 3 months. She is a great girl, treats me right, but for some reason I cannot see a future with her. BUT. We get on really well, and thus I am dreading having to call it off.

    Whats the best way to do it? I know I'm going to break her heart, but like my friends say, its really not fair to stay with her if I am feeling like this.

    So, whats the best way to break up that doesnt cause too much pain?
     
  2. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    If you give a shit about the person, there is no best way.

    I have had several girlfriends in the past that were good people. They were generally nice, caring good people. The problem was that I wasn't in love.
    I took the relationship as far as I wanted to go with it.

    Breaking up with someone in that circumstance is EVIL. It is HARD. But it is for the best.

    Look, both of you are left with 2 outcomes.

    Either you have an ongoing relationship where one of you is NOT in love with the other.

    Or you are both free to persue the ideal relationship where you can find someone that loves you as much as you love them.

    Do it. It will hurt. You will feel EVIL. But at the end of the day you are doing a favor for both of you.
     
  3. PC

    PC Active Member

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    bro i thought you really liked her ?

    are you sure you arent breaking up with her because of the problems you have with your mate?
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Ask her to meet you somewhere public. Get there separately (drive, walk, whatever).

    Be polite. Don't get upset, tell her you don't see the relationship going anywhere. Keep it short and simple. When done, simply leave. Ignore any crying, begging, etc that she might do. She will have to get over it on her own time, as will you.
     
  5. Ancoats

    Ancoats New Member

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    I like her yeah.

    But you know how when you meet someone and you feel that spark? I've lost that. :hs:
     
  6. Ancoats

    Ancoats New Member

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    I know thats what I gotta do. Just dreading it to be honest :hs:
     
  7. Ancoats

    Ancoats New Member

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    I know man. Cheers for the advice :)
     
  8. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    unfortunately this is the truth :wtc:
     
  9. fluentinsilence

    fluentinsilence New Member

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    Do it like a band-aid, get it over with. I was with a girl for nearly three years and I just came flat out and told her that it was already on a downward spiral, wasn't going to work out, and so forth. After I said what needed to be said, I ended the conversation and discontinued contact/communication with her. Of course she resented me and hated me and such, but that was to be expected; I had counted on that obviously.

    She ended up meeting some other guy, was very happy, and so forth, so it turned out all right for the both of us.
     
  10. PC

    PC Active Member

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    yeh i know :hsd:
     
  11. Stargazer

    Stargazer New Member

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    I would say tell her the truth. Tell her that you love to hang out with her and always have fun, etc. etc. etc. but that you don't see the two of you having a future together and at this point in your life, you are looking for that someone that you will spend the rest of your life with...or something along those lines.

    Whatever you do, don't put it off. The longer you wait, the more serious she will think the relationship is getting and the more she will be hurt when you do end it.
     
  12. xfuneral4aheart

    xfuneral4aheart New Member

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    The only thing you can do is be honest with her.

    If you put it off longer, than things will only get worse with time, since you will get unhappier. It wont take long to forget someone you only dated for a little over 3 months, trust me. Dont fall for guilt trips either.
     
  13. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    how can you know in 3 months you dont see a future with her?
     
  14. Ark

    Ark New Member

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    Its a feeling that I have felt myself. I felt it in my most recent relationship. I liked the girl and we clicked at a certain level but I knew almost 2 months into the 3 month relationship that it had no future. I liked the girl quite a bit but I wasn't in love with her and I knew that in the end we just wouldn't last. She even told me that I'd get bored with her and leave eventually. Maybe that was what made me feel the way I felt but eventually we started getting distant and the relationship just fell apart because we both stopped trying. Its never easy breaking up and to be honest I think it would have been a lot harder had one of us wanted to stay together more than the other. She was pretty broken up it seemed when I took it so well but we now talk every once in a while and seem to be working on a friendship with an occasional awkward moment.

    Best of luck to you.
     
  15. PC

    PC Active Member

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    and thats exactly how he DID break up with her

    btw...didnt realise hobbits had phones :mamoru:
     

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