SRS best friends or new girl?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by dazed, May 28, 2005.

  1. dazed

    dazed New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Messages:
    12,173
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    new york city
    Here's the dilemma. I really like this girl and I know she has a thing for me. We've hooked up a few times and I really like her. Now, the most important thing in my life right now are my core group of friends. We've been through everything together. They don't like her much. They aren't aganist it, they just think it would be weird if she hung out with our group.

    Now these people are my best friends in the entire world and I couldn't live without them, but this girl is somethign special..

    Any ideas?
     
  2. KarmaPolice

    KarmaPolice Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2004
    Messages:
    2,204
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gilbert, AZ
    i've had girlfriends before that were seperate from my circle of friends... as long as she's ok with you going on boys night outs occasionally it shouldn't be a huge deal...

    but it sounds like if you have to choose you should choose the friends...
     
  3. dazed

    dazed New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Messages:
    12,173
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    new york city
    my group of friends is a mix of guys and girls. like the 8 of us hang out together all the time. i can't imagine not seeing them as often, i just want her to be there with me..
     
  4. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Messages:
    790
    Likes Received:
    0
    Why don't they like her? Are they seeing something you don't?
     
  5. dazed

    dazed New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Messages:
    12,173
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    new york city
    They aren't aganist it at all, they just think it would be weird adding someone new to the group.

    They don't hate her or anything, just think she tries to hard to fit in around people, but she's never like that around me
     
  6. alexs001

    alexs001 Mawk! Mawk!

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2001
    Messages:
    11,929
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    the pizza mine
    How did a group of eight friends ever form if everyone was always afraid to include someone new?
     
  7. dazed

    dazed New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Messages:
    12,173
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    new york city
    Very true. Thanks.
     
  8. Spend time with them independantly if it's going to create tension. If they're such a tight clique then it's any wonder how they managed to come together to begin with. I mean how do 8 people befriend each other if they exclude everyone as a whole? Being inclusive and friendly to people isn't exactly difficult.
     
  9. dazed

    dazed New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Messages:
    12,173
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    new york city
    It's not there they are excluding her. I know they wouldn't say no if I brought her to hang out with all of us, they just don't seem to like her all that much.
     
  10. They don't even know her, do they?
     
  11. MattyUmass

    MattyUmass Guest

    :werd: if you HAVE to choose, its bros before hoes.....actually this story kinda applies to my friend 'circle'. One kid we hang out with has a g/f who annoys the fuck out of everyone because she thinks shes better than us or whatever in her attitude. (God damn Psych grads...but thats a whole different story altogether) It would be impossible for her not to notice the tension, so she won't hang with him when hes with us usually, so in that regard she is cool (in being cool about him hanging with us even if shes not) so I dunno. I think of it this way though, if a girl doesn't mesh with friends you've had for years because of who they are, usually its a bad sign. Look at the real reason you are together with the girl, and the real reason why you are friends with who you are friends with. My best relationships have always been with girls who get along with my friends and vice versa...
     
  12. dazed

    dazed New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Messages:
    12,173
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    new york city
    They are all aquaintances, they don't know her personally or anything, though.
     
  13. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2001
    Messages:
    13,610
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    lovely orlando
    :rolleyes: :werd:

    they don't know her, and they don't like her. who cares what they think unless it's a justifiable reason as to why they don't like her.... ie, she's a drug user or she's in trouble with law enforcement, etc.

    :( of course she's going to want to try to fit in. most girls want people to like them. some just do it more naturally than others. it's a bit intimidating when you meet a bunch of other people at one time and want to make a good impression.

    if you like her, don't worry about your friends. they'll accept her if they know she means a lot to you. :)

    so, imo... i wouldn't throw the new girl away
     
  14. Then they can fuck off.
     
  15. dazed

    dazed New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Messages:
    12,173
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    new york city
    easier said than done, they're my best friends...
     
  16. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Messages:
    790
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah, if they're your best friends, then I'd talk to them. Tell them straight up that you've noticed they've been a little stand-offish with this girl and ask them what's up?

    If they're really your best friends they'd want you to be happy and do a better job of letting her in the click. They shouldn't be putting you in a choose or lose situation.

    On the other hand, best friends sometimes see things that you don't. And they may have problems letting you know because either they want you to be happy, or they want to avoid getting into conflict with you. If you give them the opportunity to speak up to you directly, you might find out things about this girl you might not have immediately noticed.
     
  17. Your choices > Their pre-judgment

    I'm with Toasty.
     
  18. JpnDude

    JpnDude New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2004
    Messages:
    1,255
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Japan
    I guess I'm a little odd when it comes to these things. I have lots of friends and acquaintances but they are in their separate groups and clicks. For example, friends from work (co-workers and other associates), friends from various volunteer groups I'm in, nearby friends (neighbors) and others (private teaching students). In my daily life, I usually just meet one of these groups at a time. I almost never cross-introduce friends from one circle over to another. It's not intentional, it's just that I usually don't see any relation or common interests between them. Much less, I've almost never introduced my GF to any group! LOL!

    Now, off the hi-jack and back on-topic: I'd say it's OK to explore outside people to date. After all, if you're only dating within a small group of friends, that would inevitably create tension when some of you break up. If that circle of friends are REAL friends, they would at least be open to respecting your interest for someone outside.
     
  19. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2004
    Messages:
    25,647
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    dca -> nyc -> sfo -> san -> phl
    jpndude you're really in tokyo? :wavey:

    you're my fucking hero :bowdown:

    love that city, my fav on the planet.
     
  20. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2001
    Messages:
    13,610
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    lovely orlando
    :werd: i've done the same as well... i have a wide variey of friends, some 20+ years older than me, and i would never introduce them to my (less) mature 23 year old friends ;)
     
  21. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Messages:
    790
    Likes Received:
    0
    Nothing unusual about that. I don't mix my different circle of friends either.

    On the other hand, I have 4 best friends I consider just about as close to me as brothers & sisters. It's inevitable that they may at some point come in contact with my GF and so their opinion still counts.

    In the end, I will still choose to listen to my own judgement over theirs, but you'd want to avoid a situation where you'd have to conciously keep the people you care about apart for whatever unknown reason. It's just silly and unnecessary.
     
  22. dazed

    dazed New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Messages:
    12,173
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    new york city
    Well I talked to everyone and we're all hanging out tomorrow night :bigthumb:
     
  23. Glad to hear.
     

Share This Page