SRS best friends little sister :o

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by piratepenguin, Jul 6, 2009.

  1. piratepenguin

    piratepenguin New Member

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    I've been close to this girl for years, shes 17 and I'm 19, but I'm best friends with her brother, my age.

    Like I said she's been this close and at a house party last week she was drunk sitting on me all night and hugging me, I thought it pretty normal but when she held my hand out of everyones view on the balcony, it was pretty nice and I thought somethings going on. She wasn't uncontrollably drunk, and so I kissed her before she went home with the sole purpose to let her know I'm interested if she is. It was harmless for me and her, her brother even knows and while he wasn't happy he got over it, he thought it was a drunk mistake, lol.

    But the next day was far more interesting, as we both confirmed our likiness for eachother in the most charming way we could, and we've been texting since. She's a very nice girl :)

    So today I had to ring my friend and tell him about this. Should've told him earlier perhaps but I wanted to meet him to explain, and then 4 nights of work showed up. I ended up having to talk about it on the phone, because we all had planned camping tomorrow night and he obviously needed to know.

    Now it's awkward! He said some about the two of us being old enough to make our own decisions, and some about it getting in the way of our friendship if it ends in disaster. Well that can happen, but none of us are the wreckless type, should he let this stop us?

    I want to know what people think. I don't think me and her will get on with it if it really pisses her brother off, but it's not going to be easy for us, and he currently is kinda pissed off. I'll try to meet him soon and have another word about it. His main concern is that about what happens when things are finished up. That and how strange it would be, and how "strange" it is for me to want Claire "of all the people", but the answer to that isn't very convoluted.

    Thanks.
     
  2. Saluki

    Saluki New Member

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    Wirelessly posted via wap.offtopic.com (Opera/9.60 (J2ME/MIDP; Opera Mini/4.2.13337/504; U; en) Presto/2.2.0)

    I personally wouldn't do it if he's a really good friend, really good friend can be hard to find.
     
  3. cp5184

    cp5184 New Member

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    you know the two very well. how would you react in his shoes?
     
  4. Irvin Washington

    Irvin Washington New Member

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    Could you see it possibly being a long term relationship? It's not completely unfair of a close friend not wanting their sister being a fucktoy. You might want to balance the worth of your relationship with his sister versus how good of friends you two are.

    If you're just in it for f-buddy status, I'd split before taking things any further.
     
  5. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

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    This.

    Although I'm 90% sure that he doesn't want to just nail his friends sister.

    To be honest dude, take it. If you like her and she likes you then why the hell not. If my best friend wanted to date my sister it really wouldn't bother me (besides the 12 year age difference).

    Realize that you are going into this relationship with good intentions..and knowing that most highschool relationships don't work out, don't be upset when it's over.

    Live life to the fullest and tell her brother that while your friendship means alot, so do your feelings. You like his sister and hope for nothing but the best for him and her.

    Although things will change between the relationship between you and your friend..people do as well. Get used to it.
     
  6. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    If you want a real relationship with her, it could be worth it. If you just want to fuck her, then no.

    If I was her brother, I'd be more comfortable with her dating someone who is my friend. At least that way I'd know she isn't dating some loser that is going to beat her or treat her like shit.

    If it doesn't work out, be ready to lose your friend, because you will.
     
  7. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    if it is meant to happen it will.



    in the small post you initially made, i am already seeing at least 3 mistakes. just so you know
     
  8. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    You are 19 and she is 17(And I guess in highschool still). When you breakup and it ends in drama, you are going to lose your best friend and rightfully so. Trust me, you are all pretty young and stupid and this won't end well. If you fuck her on the camping trip, expect to walk home if your friend drove.

    Also, take into consideration if your friend is bigger than you.

    But hey, if your best friend is worth less than his sister who you will eventually break up with, then go for it. I think you are being incredibly stupid but that's just me.
     
  9. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    If he is truely a good friend, then he shouldnt have any problems with who you date. Think about it like this, at least he knows you, and evidently doesnt think you're a douche bag since he's best friends from you. If I was in his position, I'd rather have my best friend dating my sister than some random douche bag I dont know.
     
  10. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Don't break her heart, or your friendship will be over.

    I dated the younger sister of a good friend. We got kinda serious (at least I did) and it lasted 3 years. Ended up with her cheating on me, and me being devastated after moving 300 miles to be with her. It was messy. Well, my friend was never angry with me. I still go hang out with him when I'm back home, we have no problems. But the two of them were estranged for some time. Which sucks, but what are you gonna do.

    What I'm saying is, be careful and check your motives, but if you really like this girl then your friend -- if he's really a friend -- ought to understand and be happy for you. You might have to prove that to him though. Be a fine upstanding fellow and you'll have nothing to worry about.
     
  11. Kafka

    Kafka New Member

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    what is likiness?
     
  12. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    I have pursued girls when I knew "if it ends badly I'll lose a friend." I have also not pursued girls for the same reason. really, only you have all the information so only you can decide.

    if you feel you should, you should. but you need to realize, no amount of talking is going to make this ok with him. there's nothing you can say that will make him go "AHH!!! NOW it's ok!!" assure him that you'll be respectful of her...that's about all you can do.

    no, his main concern is that you'll be banging his sister.
     
  13. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    As someone with three sisters, this. And to the other poster, I'd rather have my sister dating some stranger, even if it never works out, than my best friend.

    And going by the OP, the friend is not okay with it. And with all 3 of you as teens, this will likely end badly.
     
  14. OniMinion

    OniMinion ...recalls when this forum was actually about cars OT Supporter

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    Yup. He wants to know if you're going to hump his sister. This could be especially frustrating if he isn't getting laid and she is. Remember, everything at that age revolves around sex, not emotions. I agree with 7960 on that part.

    As far as having a relationship with her, it's your choice to make with her. Whatever happens is final. Remember, that your decision will most likely cause you to lose a very good friend judging from his "reaction" to this proposal. Oh, and don't bang her while camping whether or not he is cool with you guys - that would just be an asshole move. Not only would he be short a friend, but hurt and upset over hearing you two do stupid things together.
     
  15. piratepenguin

    piratepenguin New Member

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    Today we only got to speak for about 3 minutes but my friend said he was thinking and will allow it to happen. It doesn't convince me that it's a good idea...

    Campings moved to this Saturday, there will be 13 year olds around (one) and no banging, some alcohol. I'm expecting it to be just like the last party with us just sitting around and very little happening out of sight, that makes it an o-k stage.

    I don't see how to be with her another night commits me? Or even a few nights, if she has the same attitude as me, but she has had boyfriends in the past year, and I don't expect she does. My point isn't that I don't want to have a steady relationship with her, but I think it's hard to get that off the ground, and in this case I need to be even more careful considering her brother (perhaps I'm usually too careful aswel). I don't want things to get serious overly fast, to risk fucking things up with two people. But also I don't see how her brother can stay mad at me for overly long unless because of something desperate bad: we still have the same friends, etc, and none of us three are the destructive type, so its not as bad to take a shot as it can be.

    After I read the first comment to this thread I went to bed thinking everything was probably needing to go back, but the girl is clearly so disappointed (and I don't know how we would get along for the future, us being friends), and me too, and it just becomes so close again: would ANYONE do this for me and would they be wise, to let down such a girl who is really so good for them?

    So clearly I want to try. The comments were useful, people have different thoughts about this :) The real big thing I'm not sure about is how blackbirdbeatle knows this ends with me giving her a blackeye and that being the end of everything. Considering what only I know that is unpossible, and that's a big part of what I'm considering. I can be just as careful in ending things as in beginning them, considering my friend then also.

    Thank you!
    *vbmenu_register("postmenu_117938241", t
     
  16. piratepenguin

    piratepenguin New Member

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    ok, maybe to be with her another night should commit me, im thinking about that too and i also need to have a word with her about how she wants or thinks things to turn out
     
  17. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I'd go for it. You sound like an alright guy. Don't be a faggot and treat her with respect and I'm sure everything will be fine.

    Talking about a relationship ending before it's even begun is a little "ugh" -- but it's a little necessary sometimes.
     
  18. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    Heh, I don't know how this ends. And I never said it will end in violence (That's silly, you sound like a decent guy). I just know that you are all teens, one still in high school, and you are going to date your best friend's little sister. Just think about that for a second. I've seen it a lot, if things take any direction for the worse, are you willing to lose your best friend? I wouldn't trade 50 girls to risk my best friends. Because there are plenty of other girls out there that you would like.
     
  19. OniMinion

    OniMinion ...recalls when this forum was actually about cars OT Supporter

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    Bro's before Hoe's!

    Yeah, I'm almost thirty, and I'm still friends with most of my HS friends. I would've looked back a regretted infringing any of those relationships. Yet, hind-sight is 20/20 so good luck, and if you get married in 4-5 years to her, let us know you were right.
     
  20. deleterious

    deleterious OT Supporter

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    choose the sister or the friend.
     
  21. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

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    I dont have any sisters so I guess I really am unsure how I'd feel.

    But I think that if you are going to date his sister because you truly want to be in a relationship with her and not just friends with benefits. As well as being somebody that will treat her good and NOT cheat on her.

    Then it could be alright. Even if the relationship does not work out as long as you broke it off because it simply wasn't working I don't see how a brother could get that pissed off. If you cheat or treated her bad it's one thing but if a relationship simply does not work out then an unbiased person knows the right thing was done in the long run.

    I had a best friend that had a sister and I liked her during certain parts of our friendship. I remember another friend telling me that my best friend would probably rather me date his sister, somebody taht would treat her good. Than a random guy who you know nothing about that could treat her bad.

    I think it will vary though on how brothers feel about that. Some are cool, some are not.

    As for me I have a couple friends that are really good guys and I've told them that they are the type of guy that if I knew my daughter (if I had a daughter)would date/marry a guy like them I'd be happy to have a daughter.


    One huge disadvantage I do see is the age range. The chances of you two becoming serious and getting married are so small that you need to know that it's likely you two will break up sometime. She still is not 18 so you need to know that she'll change a lot as you will. So know that you both will likely end up breaking up at some point so if you think breaking up will ruin your friendship than it might be a good idea you stay friends.
     
  22. AntiSocialism

    AntiSocialism New Member

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    It's as simple as this, really. You have to decide how you're going to handle everything - are you going to be a gentleman or are you going to be a prick? If you become her boyfriend, do it the right way. If your friend is as fine as he says he is with it, then everything should be okay. Don't hurt his little sister and who knows, maybe he actually wants you to be his brother one day. ;)
     
  23. k1ko

    k1ko OT Supporter

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    17 year olds are very fickle
     
  24. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    This is dying for an edit but can I say that in the Asylum?
     
  25. piratepenguin

    piratepenguin New Member

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    After this and after essentially setting us up to see eachother and putting up with us numerous times now he changed his mind. So this is how he truly feels so the reason this all started? She was pissed off and ignoring him and he wanted to make her happy, but didn't think it would last. Out of the blue told me I should stay at home last night and tells me this today.

    He says it's far too weird and different now that he sees me a lot more often but its because of her and not himself. So he wants us to just stop??

    Albeit it can be awkward when I'm in the room with her and he just walks in and starts watching tv with us :ugh: But I would never be over at his house to watch tv in the summer!
    Things will/would be a lot cooler when we're back in college, then my time with these pair will/would be divided a lot better.

    I think it's pretty awful if he expects me to walk away and I don't see how he can think this is good for anyone really?
     

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