SRS Being lonely at Christmas, even though I'm not religious, is the worst feeling ever.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by The Green Bastard, Dec 25, 2005.

  1. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    I have never been so down, so depressed as I am now. Never has my life seemed so worthless, as now. I don't have a significant other, and that's depressing enough, but not having one at christmas is terrible. Christmas is a loving time of year, where couples exchange gifts and love.

    I just have me. Well, I have friends and family of course. But that's not the same.

    Don't know why I even bother, some days.
     
  2. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    I know you don't wanna hear it, but the problem is not that you don't have a partner... the problem is that you feel that you need one so much. The thing you need to fix is you. Another person is not the solution. I know how you feel, and I feel it a bit too... being the only single person at holidays year after year, every other cousin married off. But if you're happy in yourself, if you're of the right mind... this won't really matter. Be thankful for your family, and enjoy them. Focus on changing yourself, to becoming happy independantly of a partner. We all know... you can't have a good relationship until you do that, anyway.

    Hang in there. Happy Kwanza.
     
  3. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    See, therein lies my problem. I enjoy the closeness of a partner. I've had one for the past 6 years or so around christmas time, and not having that THIS year is making me sick, and I have a hollow, empty feeling inside. I'm 32, and single, and depressed. I don't know HOW to change myself. I am very thankful I have a loving family and excellent friends....but THEY ALL HAVE PARNTERS. Going visiting friends kills me because THEY HAVE PARTNERS. I'm really the only single guy left out of our gang.
     
  4. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Yeah, thats tough. You'll get through it, and be better for having done so.
     
  5. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    I really hope you're right, but, o' bearded one, I'm afraid...hell...I'm downright terrified of my mind. I have NEVER felt this way. And I've been through a lot, and have had traumatic relationships in the past.
     
  6. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    I'm sitting on the floor here in my room wrapping presents, and I don't have the faintest care in the world. I'm fucking terrified.
     
  7. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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  8. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Look, its been a while since your breakup (right?). You have a pattern of co-dependance. You ARE going to learn to stand on your own two feet and be happy doing it, because you HAVE TO. Once you do that, and you will, you'll be happy in or out of a relationship. And then you'll find yourself having better relationships.

    You don't really have a choice in the matter, as this is the path of least suffering, even if it is hard right now.

    You're obviously feeling very lonely, and you said that you have family. So... why are you alone tonight?
     
  9. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    I'm terribly lonely, but my family is here.

    It's been 4 months since the breakup. I was devastated at the time, but I started accepting the fact that we're broken up, even though we keep in touch since we were really good friends before we started dating, and wished to remain friends after the breakup. If you met this girl, you'd want her to be your friend too. Everyone likes her. She's cute, funny, and has the most awesome sense of humor I've ever encountered in a girl.

    I just happened to fall in love with her.

    I was doing pretty good for the first while after the breakup. I was focusing on my health, bought a new car, and starting to put a lot of effort into my newest hobby, photography. I went out on a couple dates, ended up with a FWB for a while, and we started dating. But around the middle to later part of November, I came to realize that I was in a relationship, and it wasn't with the ex. I bailed. Smart, eh? I had guaranteed sex, and bailed.

    Also, around this time, I also realized that I was entering a bad bad winter funk. Last year was the FIRST time I ever recalled NOT getting a winter depression. I'm a text book case for seasonal affective disorder. I've been that way for 10-15 years. But last year, with her, I didn't get that way. I did with every other girl I've dated. And this years' funk is the worst I"ve had. I'm slacking at work, losing interest in most everything I cherished doing. Even in photography, I'm not putting my best effort into.

    I've got accustomed to standing on my own two feet, with a shoulder to lean on. That shoulder isn't there, and I"m on my ass on the ground.
     
  10. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    So get up. You got no other choice. If you can't get up off your ass... then you may be clinically depressed. You can save yourself months and months of useless suffering and wasted time by getting a pill for that.
     
  11. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    I had a dumbass family doctor diagnose me as depressed when I was 22, and he gave me antidepressents. All they did was make me feel drunk, mentally, without the slurring and poor judgement, and I woke up feeling hungover all the time.
     
  12. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Then don't take that one. Many people here have taken anti-depressants, and anyone will tell you that the newer generations of medications do not have that effect. They're very mild, and quite effective.
     
  13. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    A general practicioner isn't capable of a proper diagnosis, though, correct?
     
  14. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    ijust took 100 speeing pills and im drinking.

    goodbye ot!
     
  15. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    You sound like you have depressive tendencies. He can make a diagnosis, but it is not his specialty. If you're not comfortable going to a general practitioner, then go to a psychiatrist.
     
  16. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    Something to look forward to in the new year. Seeing a shrink. :hs:
     
  17. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Yes, ending a clinical depression is a joyous thing, and is definately something to look forward to. How long have you been feeling consistently sad? Is it just the holidays?
     
  18. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    Consistently sad? The closer I got to the holidays, the worse I've beeen. I'd say 4-5 weeks of the worsening.
     
  19. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    hope you get better GB =)
     
  20. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    I'm kinda the same way. I decided not to go to Philly to see my parents, which I -sorta- regret only because all my other friends are gone and i'm so fucking bored.

    I don't like xmas, think it's lost it's real meaning but I'm moving to Philly/NY anyways.. my parents will see enough of me.
     
  21. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    :sad2: Don't know how to get better when I"ve never felt this way before.
     
  22. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    :hug: I have friends and family very close, but every fucking corner I go around there's happy couples doing happy couple things. It kills me.
     
  23. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    yeah, i know your feeling.

    If my friends were around i'd be as cool as a cucumber but i'm just bored and lonely w/o'em.
     
  24. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    I know how you feel: I'm also completely alone for christmas. I cope with it by finding something to do. For example, I've spent the last week compiling and recompiling Gentoo Linux with different use flags and CFLAGS to get the optimal system. And no, I'm not a computer geek: I had no idea what Linux was before starting, and now I'm becoming an expert. :big grin: It's just a somewhat constructive way to get my mind off all negative things about christmas. So long, I gotta get working on getting video working in my browser. :)
     
  25. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    Who cares. We have each other right? Now who will come spoon with me :)
     

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