being able to trust after being hurt?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by quamen, Oct 14, 2006.

  1. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    I was with my ex for over 1 year and she cheated on me with her ex at a party. Now im dating a new girl for about 2 months now, and things are going pretty well. The only problem i have is being able to trust her. For some reason i also keep thinking she is cheating on me for some odd reason, since alot of guys call her etc. She tells me their just her friends which i do believe,but also her ex was calling her alot to. She told me she told him to stop,but i dont know. I dont want to get to off track here,but how long for most of you does it take to trust someone again after being hurt?

    For me i find it very hard, like im trying to hard to find out if she is cheating, but i didnt ask her that.on her myspace thing it used to say in a relationship and now it says SWINGER,and even something stupid as that got me upset. Im sure she is not doing anytthing, but i cant get it out of my head. She is a very attractive and kinda flirty girl, but i just assume things to much.

    Also since she is 20 and im 24, were kinda at 2 different parts of our life. I like her alot,but she seems to like to party alot etc, and i cant do these things because of a demanding job schedule/finishing school. For some reason i just feel like she should be with someone more her type, but i dont know why she stays with me.
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2006
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    it honestly sounds like you should not be with her. First of all, you have said that you have two different life styles, and that you don't think you are compatible in that way. That alone would probably warrant reconsidering the relationship.

    That, and considering what has happened to you in the past...it would probably be unfair for you to put yourself in as much stress as you are trying to maintain the relationship. If she's 20, and the partying type, it's probably going to be pretty hard to not see signs of cheating. Even if she isn't it may still seem like she is.

    Why put yourself through that much stress? Is it worth it? You already have a demanding job...it might be a good idea to just take a break and focus on other things than women for awhile.

    Finally, you said your last gf cheated with you at a party, and yet you're with a grl who likes to party...it's no wonder you're worried about her cheating.

    It doesn't sound like it's worth it. End the relationship, and focus on the important stuff. There will be another woman for you at some point, it may just not be right now.
     
  3. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    I appreciate the reply. Yeah it seems like it does make me ot worried and i think about it to much. Its hard because i do have feelings for this girl, but i hate my insecure ways. It has been 2 months only, but i really enjoyed myself with her. Your comments seems most reasonable, even though i would hate to break up with her. I guess i cant have best of both worlds all the time, without some conflict at this point of my life.
     

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