SRS been with gf for 6 years. another chick asks me for a beer. What to do?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by multiplexor, Jul 26, 2006.

  1. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    Title might be misleading...

    last night I bring down a load of laundry (as gf was basically in bed)... some (i'm guessing) 40 year old women... not too bad looking, is there at the same time... we talk for a couple minutes and it seems like she has a thing for me(as i look back at it)...at the end of it i grab my stuff and get ready to head up the stairs...

    she looks at me and says, oh if you ever want to grab a beer... friendly... let me know.. I'm like ok, and head upstairs...

    unfortunatly my nack of knowing weather or not, someone is coming on to me, or basically asking me out, is non existent... whats the case here?


    i've been with the gf for 6 years, and i'm not sure if i should tell my gf this story, or just tell the other woman that i'm not interested/have a gf and go on as if nothing hapenned....

    I don't think the gf will be upset, but I haven't told her yet, plus in all this i never told the other woman about my gf at that point, becaues i thought nothing of it... but the more i think about it today, the more i'm wondering what she meant...

    This other woman, i'm like 100% sure she's seen my gf before, thus another reason why i wasn't overly bugged about the beer request at the time...

    If i recount this to the gf, i just don't want her to get pissed because i didn't mention her during the conversation with the woman... plus because i'm telling her this now and not (for example) this morning, or via an email or whatnot...

    I have all intentions of telling this woman that i'm not comfortable with it and have a gf, as she should have already noticed...

    anywho, please help clear my thoughts... :)
     
  2. sneaky

    sneaky New Member

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    Is your g/f the jealous type?

    I went to burger king one night to pick up some dinner from me and the SO at the time the girl handing out the food at the drive-thru was flirting and smiling at me. When she handed me the food she slyly handed me her number too. I didn't know what to think of it, that never happens to someone like me so i told the SO and she told me to call her. Not sarcastically either. She said if she gave her number out to someone she would expect to be called so i should atleast give the girl a call and let her know i wasn't interested. I called, talked to her for a little and that was that.

    It could either blow over or blow up...depends on how jealous she is.
     
  3. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    1. tell your gf asap about the offer
    2. dont take the woman's offer seriously, and dont do anything about it.
    3. bring your gf out with you if you really feel the need to get to know this woman better.

    However, even the most open-minded gf might have a problem with this senario. Since the older woman is not a business asociate or an old friend, most girls would have a problem with this.
    and FYI, just because the cougar knows you have a gf, does not necessarily mean that she would appreciate your relaitonship. She might try to do things with you sexually despite the fact you have a gf.
    take this as a RED FLAG and discuss with your gf. If you respect your gf, she needs to be aware of the situation before you proceed. And for goodness' sake, respect your gf's feelings if she says she's unfomfortable. 6 years is not worth losing for a sexy older woman...no matter how sexy she might be.
     
  4. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    alright... judgeing by the responses... lol i'm guessing that this cougar basically was trying to come on to me...

    and yes... i'm that naive... lol

    so i'll tell the gf and let her know that she has nothing to worry about... :)
     
  5. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    thing is, do i tell her by email... through gtalk i could possibly talk it out with her... although i'll see her tonight, i guess i'll just mention that something is bugging me now... :)
     
  6. sneaky

    sneaky New Member

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    talk to her face to face so she knows your sincere. Be completely honest and let her know you didn't think anything of it at the time but the more you thought about it the more you felt it should be brought to her attention.
     
  7. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    Cool, sounds good. chat with her about other shit by gtalk and just bring it up tonight then...

    We have a friendly guy in our appt complex too, that's probably one of the big reasons why i didn't think twice of it... i was like, ehh cool, she's friendly just like this dude is... although the dude didn't offer me a beer... lol

    thanks for the advice guys... I REALLY wasn't sure how to handle this... to secretly just brush her off and not let the gf be bothered and worried, or as you guys say, tell her and tell her not to worry as i have no plans of doing anything about this aside from saying "no" :-D
     
  8. Blackthorn

    Blackthorn New Member

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    Pain is temporary, pride is forever
    She was hitting on you.

    I'd tell the gf too but then again I never hide shit like that. I wouldn't do it personally. I also tell women I meet socially I have a gf straight out to avoid/minimise complications (its very easy to drop into conversation). If it looks like they don't give two shits about you having a gf, back off immediately.
     
  9. Blackthorn

    Blackthorn New Member

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    Pain is temporary, pride is forever
    Word.
     
  10. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    word, good advise, never thought of it unless someone would ask or whatnot...

    anywho, i mentionned it to the gf "i think something weird hapenned last night while i was getting the laundry... etc...."

    she looks at me and starts to giggle... I'm like OH thank god she took this well... lol

    anywho my headache is gone and i feel relaxed. Now to have sex with this other chick...

    j/k... now to fix the other half of the problem and tell the other chick, NO ;-)

    lol
     
  11. dew

    dew Banned

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  12. Blackthorn

    Blackthorn New Member

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    Pain is temporary, pride is forever
    There's nothing wrong to have a beer with a woman in and by itself. HOWEVER, if your girlfriend is jealous, this woman is hitting on you in a very obvious way or whatever, then I wouldn't do it.

    I have a lot of female friends but I don't hang out with them lots largely for this reason. I talk to them about some problems here and there but friendships with members of the opposite sex (or rather those you're attracted to) have to be kept with a certain amount of distance to not impact your relationships.

    Any female with a lot of male friends should act in a similar way IMHO.
     
  13. Boost Addict

    Boost Addict New Member

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    :werd: :bigok:
     

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