SRS Been posted here a thousand times v.friendszone

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Smitty, Aug 22, 2005.

  1. Smitty

    Smitty New Member

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    I know this has probably been posted, but Im not searching :o There is this girl that I was pretty much set up with on a blind date. We hit it off really well I thought. We still hang out to this day. But a few days ago she said she wasnt looking for anybody or trying to date anyone and wanted us to remain friends. But then she posts a message that there isnt anyone she is interested in and that shes lonely.

    I dont know if I should jump and take the initiative and possibly get out of the whole friendzone thing. I mean I like her a lot but she is really cool to hang out with :hsd:
     
  2. Smitty

    Smitty New Member

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    and this is my first time ever admitting something like this or asking for advice from OT :o
     
  3. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Well, all signs seem to point to the obvious that she might have put you on the friend ladder. Unfortunately there's nothing that can force her to suddenly put you back on the right ladder....but here's what I would try:

    First just be up front with her and tell her that you find her special. You were set up as blind dates anyway, so it should come to no surprise to her that you were "looking" for a potential romantic interest anyway. But tell her that you respected her decision to be friends for now and you won't apply unnecessary pressure to her. That way at least it will be clear to her what your intentions were....now it's up to her to make the move to get what she wants IF she wants it.

    Then, if all she wants is to be friends, be friends. In the meantime, look your best & act your best around her. She might one day come to that realization you're someone worth pursuing. But guard yourself....assume that is unlikely to happen for now and let it happen if it is intended.
     
  4. Smitty

    Smitty New Member

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    Well I almost came out with it when she told me the friends thing. She said that when we were introduce it was as a cool person to hang out with or something like that.

    What really pisses me off is the fact that in my mind we are like 90% compatible. We have the same interests, same morals, we think the samething. Shit, the first night we met we were thinking and saying the same things like a couple thats been together for a long time. I just wish she would see that :hs:
     
  5. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Don't we all wish people would think just the way we do? :x: Inevitably what's consistent across all these failed relationship posts we see every day is that someone always feels one way that isn't quite the same as the other person.

    Can you really blame her?...she can't really force herself to think of you romantically for any number of reasons that may or may not even have anything to do with you.

    So my advice is just to be the better man. Put yourself up as the "more mature" guy who can just say "hey, I like you, but I respect your wishes to be friends and I'm cool like that.... "

    You never know what might happen after that...she might turn around. At that point you've either moved on to someone else, or you are then a happy camper ready to build a relationship with her.

    It's a win-win this way, in the worse case scenario you end up with a friend.
     
  6. Smitty

    Smitty New Member

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    :werd:
    Whats funny though is that I'll tell people with the same problem as this the same exact thing. But sometimes its hard to follow your own advice :hs:

    At least I know Im doing the right thing then at the moment :)
     

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