FRK Becoming a Good Sub

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by OakleyTodd, Apr 30, 2008.

  1. OakleyTodd

    OakleyTodd New Member

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    So the new girl I'm dating is really into BDSM and we have decided to pursue a Dome/Sub relationship along with a healthy sex life, and most importantly a romantic relationship. We are both new to the official aspects of it meaning the most we have ever really done is basic handcuffs, blindfolds etc.

    Anyhow I want to be a good sub for her, and I know as we move forward she will direct me as to what my role includes. But I would like to get some insight into what sub guys have experianced, and what most pleased their respective Dome. Does anyone have any good sites that have reading materials on them, or any good ebooks out there?
     
  2. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    Send a PM to PE, you know you'll get good answers from her!
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    better yet, wait for PE to answer in this thread, so that we can all benefit.
     
  4. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    I think it depends on how far you want to take the sub/dom thing. Would it be an all the time situation, just while having sex, soft sub/dom (so Dom in control, but only to a certain point). I think that this could be looked at as a continuum and it depends where you would like to fall on it.
     
  5. OakleyTodd

    OakleyTodd New Member

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    We were discussing it last night some and came to the conclusion that public domination would be limited so as to not expose us to unfriendly situations (basically keep the interaction in the bedroom or at events that would warrant a public display). When we chat online we switch back and forth from friendly chat, to her being dominant with me. How ever, chastity will be a full time thing, and not every physical encounter will revolve around BDSM, we want a good balance of play time, and making love. She has already made it clear that I am only allowed to pleasure myself when she says its ok. She gave me one final night to 'play' so now I'm off limits to my hands and toys until she gives permission.

    Basically on the emotional side of the relationship we want to keep it 50/50. That way the romance and love part is equally both our responsibility to work for and maintain. In fact this weekend we are going to go camping overnight and its purely romantic, no toys, no dominance, just us, some wine, nature, and the stars.

    This morning when we were chatting I had to tell her that the toys we ordered hadnt shipped yet, and she was looking forward to getting them by Friday. So I sent an email to see when they would be shipped, and she told me that wasnt good enough so I was told to call and let them know that my mistress was getting anxious and wanted to know when she could expect her toys to arrive!
     
  6. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    lay down what you expect from each other from this relationship. It looks like you guys are pretty good about your comunication and your intentions.

    Being a good sub is different to everyone. To some i'm a great sub; I care for my Master's needs, i communicate as Needed and Am as clear in my communication and intentions as possible. To other's, i'm a pain in the ass because i will only submit to my trusted Master and I don't bend to just anyone's will. What a good sub is is one that is happy inteh care or caring of the Top/Dom/Master.

    Sounds to me that you two are going a similar route to what tigre and i did. he is STILL my Master 24/7 but we have a romantic relationship that is 50/50 in all otehr terms. I Am his equal and his partner, but when we are at play we take our roles. sometimes it drips over into the daily life aspects of things, i used to have to go about town with certain devices on or rope harnesses under my clothes or with Specific rules i had to follow. but all things we discussed and agreed upon prior to implementation or at least an outline of it was agreed upon earlier. it doesn't ruin the spontineity if you are that kind of player, just check at the begining of play or like you have inthe begining of this relationship.

    you guys look like you are starting off on the right foot. Just Ask of your keeper what she expects from you and what you expect in return. Agree to your terms and have a fucking blast.
     
  7. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    I suggested PM because PE hasn't been online so much lately. I just sort of figured she would reply in thread :mamoru:
     
  8. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    I'm online everyday, i just don't post in FS that much anymore. the quality of this forum has been lacking since everyone is bitching about not having nudes instead of having GOOD, thought provoking conversation about the freakier aspects of sex.... something that doesn't and never did require having nudes in this forum.
     
  9. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    Puck, I also sugest going on to www.bondage.com and read up on there. there are a lot of good threads on Subs and what different people experience. also www.keptforher.com that focuses specifically on Fem domme and male chastity.

    Lemme see what other ones there are, i can't bring them up off the top of my head.
     
  10. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    Yeah, I have found the same and is why I am not posting as much :(
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Hey. Just because I asked for pics of fake tits doesn't mean I'm not up for thought provoking discussion, guys!
     
  12. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    Oh and mpuck, i also suggest you two Come up with your safewords and signals NOW if your play is going to include Pain, Asphyxia or other more edgy/dangerous types of fun.
     
  13. OakleyTodd

    OakleyTodd New Member

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    Yeah, she has given me the task of coming up with a safe word that is 'relevent' to us. I have a few weeks before we get into playing on the Dome/Sub side. We have agreed that we dont want our first time with eachother to be a play session, but romantic sex.
     
  14. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    :cool:

    Develope the trust in teh 50/50 romance side and then it'll translate even better into the BDSM side of things.
     
  15. OakleyTodd

    OakleyTodd New Member

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    ms

    MS-WERD
     
  16. HappyEeyore

    HappyEeyore New Member

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    I'm far from being an expert on anything, but developing the trust romantically is a HUGE help in developing a healthy relationship that includes BDSM.

    I've finally found someone who gets it, and doesn't think I'm a wierdo for wanting to be a sub ... and it's freakin' amazing. We communicate about everything, we are 100% honest about how we feel about it, then we talk about whatever took place after the fact just to guage how we feel ...

    Good luck to you!
     
  17. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    LOL not saying that you are not...for me it is more people bitching about there being no nudes and that they see no point to this section and have hence left (which is actually a good thing).
     
  18. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    :love: I'm so happy you found someone to share this with!!!
     
  19. Lovely Atlantis

    Lovely Atlantis Luscious Lovely Lady!

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    wait a sec, have you two not even had sex together yet?
     
  20. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    I LOVE your avatar.....Boo was so great :)
     
  21. OakleyTodd

    OakleyTodd New Member

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    You are correct.
     
  22. Lovely Atlantis

    Lovely Atlantis Luscious Lovely Lady!

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    wow... to me that seems a little different jumping into a sub/dom sexual relationship before you even have a sexual relationship established. But I suppose it doesn't really matter as long as you are both on the same page as what you want and you talk everything through.
     
  23. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    Actually, I think A lot of people establish BDSM relationships with no prior romance involved.. that's how a lot of pro's make thier money. :mamoru:
     
  24. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    wow that is surprising.
     
  25. OakleyTodd

    OakleyTodd New Member

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    It's been a fun journey with her so far. Lastnight she took me out on a date, and I can honestly say it was the best nigt I have had in a very long time. We both agree on our planned arangement, and we talk very openly about our desires. I think thats a good foundation to start on.
     

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