SRS beating the vicious pseudo-existentialist depression cycle

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by glass, Jun 28, 2005.

  1. glass

    glass New Member

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    i'm between semesters, hence i've got a lot of time on my hands. i'm all up for keeping busy, but i'd rather do something meaningful.. and this is where i hit a dead end.

    i was walking home from work one night, and i just had this terrible empty feeling gnawing at me. it's the same empty feeling i get when exams are over or i've handed in an assignment that's kept me busy for weeks. it's something self-help authors call "the urgency addiction".

    anyway, that feeling came to me one night. i didn't think i'd feel it again, since these last 4 months have been the best i've ever had in a while. i got the first part-time job i've ever had, met a great girl, made some decent new friends, and my grades are up. yet i still feel very much alone, unfulfilled, and certain that even if everything goes perfectly, none of it will matter.

    have you ever felt like everything was going well for you, but none of it was important? or felt empty or cheated every moment you achieved something you've been hoping would make you happy? i don't think everyone will relate to this, but any thoughts on the matter would be welcome.
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    To paraphrase a contemporary sage: Create something. Art, music, love, hope.

    Build something, create something, make something. Something better, larger, something more than yourself. Add something of beauty and loveliness to this world.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    That my friend is the calling of your soul, it calls out to you to love and help others in order to become happy yourself. Its not a joke, if you love and help others you will fill that void in your life, whenever you become unhappy this is the thing to do,which you can continue to do so thru out your life.
     
  4. Everyone who posted had something great to offer you. We all have felt like that, or still do! We're all struggling with the tension of existing in this world and trying to breath as we experience life on it's terms, while still feeling valued and purposeful.
     
  5. AR

    AR Guest

    I often get a similar feeling. Although very different.

    For me: it's as if portions of my life don't balance out. Only for short spans they meet and come to the same level. I have never had an empty feeling after handing in assignment or exam. Not once, I don't think.

    What I would say to you is to find some kind of recreation. I don't know, whatever it may be. A release. We as human beings in this culture have a hard time trying to release but there are plenty of methods: excersize, writing, creating, self-expressing, etc. that's about the best of what I can think of right now. I you understand what I'm saying here.
     
  6. glass

    glass New Member

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    thanks guys. you're right.. there is a great feeling that comes with creating something. i remember how good it felt as a kid to make anything out of lego or play-doh. to this day i don't think i've ever met a source of satsifaction as reliable and consistent and efficient as making stuff with play-doh.

    but another thing i didn't realize is that.. the world is big. just when you think you've got everything figured out, the world has something new for you. like today.. i spent the entire afternoon trying to get acquainted with Pink Floyd. under normal circumstances my afternoon was something i'd call "a waste of time", but i dunno.. i jsut couldn't give a shit.

    i guess the thing i realized is that.. it's possible to be too systematic. and it's not always healthy. to be constantly forumlating and reformulating your gameplan for life.. sometimes it doesn't work because you just don't know all the angles. and learning the angles requires.. i guess.. playing around a bit and seeing what's out there.

    i doubt "that empty feeling" will ever stop coming.. but the good times do feel sweeter that way. i doubt i'll ever do anything drastic because of that.
     

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