Bad Wingman Story!!!

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by io-bot, Apr 7, 2008.

  1. io-bot

    io-bot New Member

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  2. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    post some cliffs
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    so what, some guy got pissed that his friend took the hot girl home?

    Boo fucking hoo...
     
  4. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    :rofl: @ I tried to throw a pizza at her.
     
  5. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    throw her over your shoulder and take her to the car
     
  6. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    I'm posting this because the season is starting. Much like motorcycling, our off-season wingman skills might be a little bit rusty. You may think that you skills are keen. Don't "wingman" over your head. You could "target-fix" and completely crash and burn. Remember, if you fuck-up as the wingman, your lead flier is also fucked...

    Please read this "fictional" story (for demonstration purposes only). The names havn't been changed to protect the innocent... because lets fact it, we want to laugh at their asses.

    And so the story goes...


    This past Friday night Io-Bot, Palm-Bomb (shitty wingman) and myself went out to Pour House in Hartford with plans of drunken debotchery. We headed out at about 10:00pm (mostly because Palm's gay ass decided to wait until 9:30 to shower and then spent 10 minutes running arround the appartment naked, showing off his fat, hairy ass. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/barfaway.gif) )

    We arrive at the bar and standing all alone, next to the pool table is this wonderful bit of blonde goodness. She's dressed in this cute little summer dress, cleavage is out and legs for days... Everyone in the bar is staring at her, thinking dirty thoughts, but no one is approaching her.

    We get a drink and head over to the pool tables (duh!). Within 5 minutes, she's Io's new best friend. It was almost as if she was standing there wearing a sign that said, "No thanks, I'm waiting for Dave" They start playing pool and everything is going text-book awesome. Io isn't even trying hard. It's almost not fair. Girls this hot barely even exist, let alone fall right into his lap! Now they're playing doubles pool against two dorky guys (and beating them). She's pretty drunk and has now switched her ficticious sign over to "I'm going home with Dave, thanks". They're dancing, sinning in each other's laps, he's "helping" her with her pool shots from behind. It's quite a show.

    Now, this is going great, but suddenly takes a left turn... After about an hour of this flirting and general fore-play, her "safty" (ie: fat friend) comes out of nowhere. The "safty" has a foul look on her face and she wants to leave. It all happened so fast that none of us could react. I tried to throw a pizza the the "safty" to distract her, but it was too late. "Hot girl" had her jacket on and was headed for the door. (wingman failure #1).

    Now, normally this is where the story would end. "Safty" was engaged, Hot, Drunk Chick was gone. Game, Set , Match... We go back to drinking and yelling and basically making a spectacle of ourselves.
     
  7. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    ABOUT 1 HOUR LATER... SHE COMES BACK!!!

    She comes running back into the bar and makes a B-line for Io-Bot. It's like having a second shot at entering heaven. Palm Bomb leans over to me and states, "I'm gonna be seeing her in my apparment tomorrow morning". Now this REALLY isn't fair. Io-Bot hasn't put fourth any effort into this and he is going to score BIG TIME! Over the next two hours, they are fondling eachother, drinking, and dissappear up to the dance club upstairs (It must have been a sure thing, Io paid a cover to get into the club).

    Palm and I continue to drink and make a spectacle of ourselves while this asshole is upstairs with "Hot-Chick" basically guarantying to get laid. They come back downstairs because she wanted to smoke a cigarrette outside. She is now accompanied by another friend (not the fat one...).

    Now this is where the lesson of the story is...

    Palm springs into action at the designated "wingman". He immediately heads outside for smoke time. He's keeping the friend occupied while Io-Bot improves upon his game. While this is going on, I am keeping watch from inside the huge front windows of the bar. They've been outside forever and Palm is working the "wingman" situation hard. I can tell that he has the friend completely isolated, and is trying to get them back inside so that Io-Bot can seal-the-deal.

    The next thing I know, both girls are GONE! It was like watching an old cartoon of Wile E. Coyote falling off the cliff. Nothing but a dust swirl. Io-Bot comes stomping back in the bar, chouting that Palm is the WORST wingman ever created. Palm is noding his head in agreement, asking for a mulligan due to being out of practice.

    Apparently, Palm was performing his wingman duties by trying to get the girls back into the bar for a drink. At some point they all got into a discussion of age. It turns out that Hot-Girl's friend is slightly older than Dave and Chris (she was 29). She was also the designated driver, and not drinking. Palm is trying to get them back into the bar and offers to buy a shot for everyone. The disignated driver declines the shot because she is not drinking tonight. In a last ditch effort, Palm says to her something like... "What? You're too old to do a shot with me?" ...and it all goes to shit! They're gone. Io-Bot is fucking his fist tonight, and it's all Palm's fault. MAJOR WINGMAN FAILURE!!!


    Please read this story and learn it's lesson. Don't be a victim of a "rusty wingman".
     
  8. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    now you dont need to follow the link
     
  9. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    Are there any pics of said girl?
     
  10. io-bot

    io-bot New Member

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    I have a pic in my cellphone, ill have to get it off there and post up, blondie with short hair, about 5'6 and prob 120lbs or so, B/C cup size.

    And no, no one ended up taking her home, just he old safety DD.
     
  11. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    I will be looking for the pic. Did anyone get her #?
     
  12. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    you guys were already outside, so it seemed like a good opportunity to have an insta-date at a coffee shop or something across the street, instead of trying to coerce them back into the bar.
     
  13. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    that is a good point. If the DD didnt want a drink ask them to come back to your place. This was as much a failure for the wingman as it was for the Guy with the "hot" girl. Good game doesnt need a wingman.
     
  14. io-bot

    io-bot New Member

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    It was 1am at the time, nothing is open but Bars, plus me and her were drunk already...
     
  15. nezfotnemom

    nezfotnemom OT Supporter

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    Sucks but at least he was trying. I was out last week nad was tlaking with this hottie and the fatty safety came out of nowhere. I text my my buddy and tell him to run interference and get his response: "F no, shes giant"....

    At least Palm tried
     
  16. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    sucks to be you, Dave.
     
  17. io-bot

    io-bot New Member

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    No no, new developments... she found me on facebook... things are in the works lol
     
  18. nezfotnemom

    nezfotnemom OT Supporter

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    pics
     
  19. razi

    razi New Member

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    ditch the lame wingman and take 'em both home. ;)
     
  20. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    Put up some of her FB pics... should be able to smash that toddler tunnel next time...
     
  21. nezfotnemom

    nezfotnemom OT Supporter

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    you did? or ur asking
     
  22. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    who cares. Just go out another night and learn from your mistakes. I don't know about most men, but 5'6 120 lbs with B cups isn't exactly the "hottest" girl in the world to me.
     
  23. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    You must be in to the 5'2 185 girls....

    and i was asking to have him post the FB pics
     
  24. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    yeah, pics or bs
     
  25. AndNineteen

    AndNineteen G!zMo's High School Pic

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    I have a bad wingman story.... Girl was a clinger and thought she found true love... I've had to change my number cause of it.
     

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