I think it may help some people to start documenting some of the causes of those Bad Queer Moments… You know, those milestone moments where you instantly feel bad. That way, you have a way to reflect on them l8tr, AND there is a digest of such moments for l8tr generations of queer (think, maybe they can learn from out mistakes and mis-steps). I’ll start, generally. Loss of Virginity. Ow! Oooh! BANG—you’re an adult, not overnight but within five lusty minutes. The instant you’ve cum in front of someone, you feel yourself aging. It’s usually mistaken for welcome maturation, but in retrospect, you’ll be able to identify this moment as a giant step toward middle age. Job Straight Outta Hell. The first job that you either screw up, or at which you’re doomed by a lousy, petty, self-involved boss, or that you have to suppress your sexuality, or that you otherwise are dismissed/forced from, or that you are damned to return to forever and a day. All the time you’ve spent at this job might as well be flushed down the toilet, and no matter when you look at the calendar, you realize you’ve been there ten times longer than you’d thought. You have, in fact, spent years at the job, spinning your wheels while agine… aging… aging… First STD. Once you’ve had crabs or ghonorrea, you realize the inherent squalor in sexual activity, and your depression over your newfound contempt for sex makes you realize you live for sex. Not to mention if you’re unlucky enough to get some incurable disease like HPV (warts); an incurable and extremely uncomfortable like herpes; or an incurable, extremely uncomfortable, and fatal disease like AIDs. All of these diseases, whether as relatively harmless as warts or as unspeakably horrific as AIDs, make you accept that your body—upon its introduction to this new, eternal virus—is changed forever, a concept that’ll put a good ten years on you in a bad ten seconds flat. Accelerated Relationships. Okay, so I know we all didn’t have the proper ‘dating’ socialization in middle- and high school, buuuut does that mean that you have to rush things in college? Yes, I know, you wanna get your experience points, but sometimes it will leave you feel like you sped up, only to smack face-first into a brick wall of social awkwardness. In these time, friends help…hopefully you didn’t make them feel ostracized. Lovelessness. Self-explanatory, except that it bears mentioning that going to your traditional haunts loverless only to find that you’ve slept with two-thirds of the patrons can make for an especially jarring and aging experience (Why is it that all that I can think of have to do with aging (oops…never mind).