SRS Bad couple days

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by CookieMonster, Aug 6, 2008.

  1. CookieMonster

    CookieMonster OT Supporter

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    Gf and I have been fighting allot.(Got into a serious one this time) We been going out for almost 1 year and 6 months and has been living with me for 17months. Lately we been fighting about how she never gets to go by her friends.

    Which is true because for some reason I don't know why I can't trust any woman in my life. It's just I've sen how low and mean the can get. But some how I need to over come this trust issue because she needs her space.

    She also mentioned that we never do anything and how I'm either on the xbox, on the computer, or messing with one of my hobbies. Which I am inside allot because its Slidell, Louisiana and its fucking hot an boring. Theres only a couple things to do unless I drive to New Orleans which is 40 miles away.

    Also she complains about how I never wanna do what she wants or never gets to see what she wants to see. Some true some not. But I'm gonna be allot less selfish.

    Another thing she doesn't like porn so she has caught me 4 times and now doesn't trust me anymore that I still do it. Well it seems like I can not look or download porn anymore FTL. This will be hard.

    Last but not least. I really don't know if I really love her. :wtc: I mean I feel it some what just not strong when we first were together. I really wish things could get back to normal. But I don't know what to do? Break up with her or not. I mean I pretty sure when I say this I mean it. I love you. When I say that to her I mean it. Thats the only thing that lets me know. It just feels like this relationship is holding on to a string thats about to break. I just want to make it better and stonger like a rope. When I do thinking about breaking up with her I think of all the good and bad times and I can't tell which one wins. :wtc: It's just like saying yes or no. Also I think to myself. Am I really the right guy for her?
    If I lose her I think my life will just go further down the drain.

    Please help me.
    Thank you.
    William
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2008
  2. CookieMonster

    CookieMonster OT Supporter

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    I take that back I LOVE GER VERY MUCH. I am positive that I LOVE HER. I can just feel it and never wanna let it go.
     
  3. Potski

    Potski what?

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    Dear William,

    First thing to remember is that this is just a bad couple of days, it doesn't reflect your whole relationship. At least I hope not. People have come back from much worse, it's just important to keep your head on and concentrate. Turning into an emotional wreck now will NOT help.

    What first got you two together? It seems like whatever you bonded over is being forgotten. Everyone needs their own space where they can do the things they like, but these spaces are unique and you can't usually take partners there. Turn off the xbox/computer once in a while and take her out somewhere like you did at the start of the relationship. Go dating again. It'll be refreshing and you'll remember why you're together, which would solve one of your problems too.

    I know what you mean about women being low, mean, and generally whores, but that's just something we're forced to live with. You don't even have to enjoy it yourself, letting her spend more time with her friends will get an alarming amount of bitchiness out of her system. Remember you can control her body but not her mind, and trying to control her at all will breed contempt and will probably end up with something happening that you were trying to prevent in the first place. Get over it sir, and things will be better.

    The important thing is to talk. Especially about things like porn. If you don't like how she's treating the issue, sit down and have a proper discussion about why you have it, and go into how it doesn't threaten her role at all etc. Do NOT be drawn into an argument. It's so easy, but your relationship needs talking, not shouting. At this rate you'll end up further apart than ever unless you turn it around. You have the stronger piece of rope, but you're gonna need to learn how to tie a damn good knot to keep this ship intact.
    Good luck William, hope this helped a bit
     
  4. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Potski said it all too well.

    Tell her you need 'You' time but also give her date time. Setup days that are just your days for playing Xbox/computer games. But also setup days that you 2 can go out on a date. Taking your woman out and doing fun things a few times a week is needed for a healthy relationship. Encourage her to hang out with her girlfriends once in a while. She needs to maintain those relationships so she doesn't go batty.

    And for the porn issue, either talk to her and tell her why you need to look at porn whether she likes it or not, or decide that you can live without it just to appease her. Don't try to argue with her about it, because you'll never win an argument with your gf about porn.
     
  5. CookieMonster

    CookieMonster OT Supporter

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    Thanks guys. Yall really helped me allot. I woke up this morning feeling like a new guy. What I was planing on doing is doing more weekly things. Zoo, aquarium imax, etc but only on the weekend because I will be starting college again. I did become a little less lazier and made this bed this morning. Woke up at 9am instead of 12pm or 1pm. I noticed little things can change, which will help.
    Thank you potski and Vysion.
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2008
  6. CookieMonster

    CookieMonster OT Supporter

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    Well today has been okay. She is just being really distant from me. Which I can understand why but something just seems fishy. She doesn't go out allot but the times I do I think she is lying to me what she is really doing. How can I build trust without being a stalker?
     
  7. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    well, you're suffocating her, which is going to kill the relationship at best, and have her cheat on you at worst. You need to allow her her friendships and time doing her own things. She's bored because you wont let her go out, and you wont go out with her.
     

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