Attractiveness vs. masculinity/femininity (aka-the sexist thread)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Jan 6, 2010.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I want to see if other people have noticed a distinction.

    This paragraph is about women. Reverse it for men:

    I am realizing that "physical beauty" is not always proportional to "femininity." I was thinking about the FB I had who is the least physically attractive person I've ever fucked when it comes to pure looks, but she was extremely feminine which in itself was extremely attractive on a subconscious level; I would get aroused very easily with her. The way she moved. The way she talked. The way she submitted. The way she knew her role as a woman (which is why i called this thread "the sexist thread") (and no, I don't mean in the kitchen, let's keep this thread mature. She only cooked for me once in 6 months :rofl: )

    Before you start: my gfs were also very feminine, and I get aroused very easily with my gfs. I think I just noticed the disparity between looks and femininity more with my FB.

    But it really popped into my head the other day because I saw a woman who was very physically attractive, but wasn't terribly feminine. I don't know how to explain it.

    I assume that women notice this, too. Unattractive but "manly" (masculine) guys get laid all the time. I assume the masculine energy is attractive to women.

    As I mature, I find that not only am I attracted to physically sexy chicks, but also more to femininity. Sometimes I find myself getting turned on around my gf not because she's wearing anything particularly sexy or slutty (altho that doesn't hurt anything :bowdown: ), but because something she did was feminine.

    Discuss.
     
  2. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    I agree with whatever you said. I know some women and men that are very attractive but not very feminine or masculine and that definitely decreases their overall attractiveness.
     
  3. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    i know a fat chick that is really really relaly feminine

    i'd say it makes up for her weight :dunno:, i'm more inclined to flirt with her than better looking chicks that are regular feminine.
     
  4. Thelonius

    Thelonius New Member

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    my ex was probably a 7 to most people, but this is what made her a 10 to me. cute voice, laugh, the way she moved, everything...I'm a sucker for that shit.
     
  5. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    agree. it works for both men and women.
     
  6. Pounce

    Pounce New Member

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    I was recently discussing this with a friend actually... I DON'T like traditional masculinity. My psych-major friend told me about some research ( right here ) she read about which suggests people who give up traditional masculinity/femininity in favor of more gender-neutral (androgynous) roles are emotionally healthier, and I thought it was interesting. Before you jump to conclusions it's important to note that androgyny isn't the LACK of femininity or masculinity; it's the inclusion of both, and the ability to act in either way depending on the situation.

    I guess it depends on if you're referring to femininity in terms of physical traits or in terms of personality, though. I'm thinking more in terms of personality. In any case traditional "manliness" is just.. annoying, for me. Both looks-wise and personality-wise. I'd rather have someone who seemed "healthy" to me, which means expressing a wide variety of emotions in a wide variety of circumstances. If you act like you're above me (as traditional masculinity seems to do, because of the whole "this is patriarchy, men make all the decisions" thing) I'm going to resent it. I want us to be equals.

    I'm like 35% drunk, sorry if it's not making THAT much sense. I'll try to clarify later if anyone wants.
     
  7. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

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    Eww.. no thank you. Psychologists can't just undo millions of years of evolution. Women are wired to be attracted to masculinity, and men are wired to be attracted to femininity.

    However, I think that an individuals perception of feminine and masculine is MAINLY subjective. For instance, some people might think my SO isn't all that feminine. She farts, she burps, she chugs beer, she drinks tequila and whisky, she takes loud poops, etc. But those are things I find endearing, and she does plenty of WOMANLY shit to make up for it.

    Actually, I hate the words masculine and feminine. Should be MANLY and WOMANLY :mamoru:
     
  8. Pounce

    Pounce New Member

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    lol, can you back that up with research? What is conditioning and what is genetic? What about gay men, what about lesbians?

    I'm not saying you're wrong, it just seems like people are REALLY HESITANT to question these age-old assumptions we have about "what men/women like".
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I didn't see research at that link. It was just an article written by a guy with a PhD in psych. Was there an actual study on this?

    Getting rid of the so-called "gender binary" entirely would be sad :wtc:

    Btw I hope you stay around :love: I LOVE that there is someone more liberal than me on this forum now :mamoru:
     
  10. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Fucking :bowdown:.
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    o rlly? :eek3:
     
  12. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I'm always the first one to challenge gender roles. My first thought when reading this thread was "what are we defining as masculine and feminine?" I think gender roles are severely outdated.
     
  13. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    It depends what u mean by them... I probably agree. But I think it can be taken too far. Part of heterosexual attraction IS the male/female contrast - which is not just about physical differences - which is what Falconer touched on.
     
  14. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I'm not really sure I agree with that. I mean what are you defining as male/female contrast that isn't about physical differences? I'd be surprised if you could name one that I would agree with as being gender specific.
     
  15. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I dunno. Not sure you need to pin it down very specifically for it to exist. It's like beauty that way
     
  16. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    :hsugh:
     
  17. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Man, just think of them for yourself.

    Take beautifulpeople.com.

    Apply their method to this and I will agree with the results and BOTH of us will be able to cite specific traits or dimensions.

    I will give it a shot in next post.
     
  18. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Heterosexual Gender Roles

    (Exceptions abound always... these are soft guidelines.)

    Smallness versus BIGNESS. (How much social space are you stepping on? Think body language; amplitude.)

    Aggressiveness versus harmoniousness. (Are you creating a selfish frame of negotiation or a cooperative one?)

    Aesthetic dominance versus aesthetic submissiveness. (Not, "Who gets whose way?" or "How is one's way gotten?" but "In what aesthetic power style is one's way gotten?")

    Note the equal effectiveness of each side. Perhaps that is me being politically correct in the dimensions I choose or perhaps political correctness in our culture has relegated the gender binary to such dimensions.

    All of this is particularly visible in flirtiness and may disappear in cross-gender activities. Some cross-gender activities: playing soccer, debating logically, and making platonic friends.
     
  19. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    My argument was that no such things exist and so you're telling me to think of examples of said things myself? :rofl:
     
  20. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I wonder if this is because you are severely on neutral side of masculine (just from your posts/pictures/etc). This is not an insult or anything on my behalf because there (obviously) isn't anything wrong with who you are, but it would make sense to me that someone who doesn't scream masculinity would be against gender roles that are naturally ingrained into us as far as nurturing, emotional ties, rearing of children etc.

    I mean women are more emotional compared to men which dictates their behaviour and thinking/logic/reasoning, also men are physically stronger then women (all based on average, not saying all women are weak or men don't have emotions) and both of those things are tied into gender rolls (and not at all the only things), and I don't see why their existence is a bad thing at all. We are naturally different so why blur the lines?
     
  21. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    polarity is the key to attraction.
     
  22. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    1. Big vs. small. I thought we agreed that we weren't talking about physical traits?

    2. Aggressive vs. harmonious. I fail to see how either of these are or should be specific to either gender. Case and point, plenty of men find aggressive women attractive.

    3. I have absolutely no idea what you're saying here.

    We're talking about qualities that are "masculine" and "feminine" that people think should be attached to males or females respectively. Example: 'Men should be the aggressive ones' or 'Women should be the emotional ones'. I'm saying (and I believe Pounce said) that these supposed gender roles are ridiculous. Anything you can qualify as a male/female trait, I can give an example for how it would benefit the other gender as well. Again, case and point: Men find aggressive women attractive, whereas according to gender roles, aggressiveness is a masculine trait and therefore should make a woman less attractive.
     
  23. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    You think I disagree with gender roles because I'm less 'masculine', but did it ever occur to you that I'm less masculine because I disagree with gender roles? As Pounce said, I think being more in touch with ones emotions is a much healthier approach to life, but that is a traditionally feminine approach. You act as though just because things have been done a certain way in the past means thats how they should always be done, but I strongly disagree. There are reasons why women have jobs now, whereas a hundred years ago that was considered 'masculine'.
     
  24. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Size makes a difference in how you respond/react to life in general. It might be a physical trait but it definitely helps shape your personality so I don't think it's fair to just dismiss it. A womanly trait to me is dainty-ness (I know lots of women that aren't, just sayin...) which would be tied to their natural lesser physical size/strength.

    Womens brains are wired differently to be more responsive to peoples emotions and body language by far. Why should we take that away from them when it's one of their strengths?


    I'm curious as to your reasons behind your desire to blend gender roles? Are you able to verbalize why you think they are bullshit or shouldn't exist?
     
  25. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    This is a difficult conversation to have without me accidentally insulting someone (women, or you or whoever), so let me say I'm not trying to do that.

    Are you the way you are because of your beleifs or are your beliefs a result of the way you naturally are? What came first the chicken or the egg?

    There is nothing wrong with a guy who wants to be emotional to a degree, I think it can go to far (but some women get carried away with it too). But womens brains have different chemicals enabling their behavior, flowing through their brain, naturally forcing them to be that specific way, you can't just over look natural things and say why can't we all be the same. Our genders ARE NATURALLY different.
     

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