Attraction: Men do not care about "status" v.let's talk about it

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Dec 10, 2007.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I was thinking about this the other day. Based on my experience, I do not believe that men care about status the way women do.

    I have had 3 LTRs. One was a physical therapist (making $42/hr out of college). That's significantly more than I make. lol.

    Another worked at a large investment firm. She also got paid a good salary.

    Another did not complete college* and worked an entry-level job at a big corporation.


    Ok. As far as my attraction for these women was concerned, I really didn't give a shit what their jobs were or how much they made. Is that a pretty typical viewpoint for a man to have? Along that venue, I was concerned with a) were they good with money (which is unrelated to income), and b) were they intelligent, but not 1) does she make a lot or 2) does she have a high status position.

    Of course, everything else was important, like is she attractive, is she a flexible giver, etc. etc. But as far as "status" went, I didn't give a shit.

    Discuss.










    * her not completing college was the result of her "nutty" personality which also manifested itself in other negative ways during the tenure of our relationship.
     
  2. bmorrell

    bmorrell SoCal > *

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    Uh oh. :rofl:

    Nah, I keed. I see what you mean. Part of a girl's attraction to a guy is his "status" and his power and all that. Alpha male, etc. I think guys are just more simple; if a girl's hot, she's attractive.

    If that didn't make sense...idk how to say it really. To a girl, a guy's attraction isn't based solely on his looks, but also on his power, status, independence, success, etc. More of a "whole package" than "he's hot."
     
  3. 24/7 IDB

    24/7 IDB New Member

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    Yup. Their job and status is probably close to last on my "what a woman should have before I marry her" list.

    I think the reason is that men are generally (I mean very generally, as it can obviously go the other way) the ones responsible for taking care of the family. So what job the woman does (if she even has a job) doesn't really matter.


    I go for looks first, then personality, then compatibility. I don't think status even crosses my mind.
     
  4. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    hmmm... no.
    I honestly couldn't care less about the "status" of my bf, who grew up poor and is working his way though college without anyone's help, btw. its not some desire to have a free ride off the man's power and money that women are looking for. I think its the fact that a lot of intelligent and kind men, who provide very good company and are happy in their lives, also happen to be successful in their jobs and therefore make good money.

    Maybe this applies more to people who meet when theyre older though, because I met my SO when I was 14 and clearly neither of us had anything then. Come to think of it...neither of us do now :dunno:.
     
  5. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    I think men don't care too much about "status" of their SO as much as women do.

    At least from my experience :o

    I'm not sure as to why they don't care as much. I think some men just think that as long as their SO has a decent job and brings in an income, they couldn't really care.

    I on the other hand am the opposite. I care somewhat, to the extent that I have to respect what my SO is doing and that he is putting his talent/skills to use and makes a decent income.

    I think what someone does as far as their career goes is very important. to me anyhow
     
  6. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I think i'd agree with you.
    On that note, I do know that the fact that I look really good on paper (very good grades, competitive and difficult major, well paying job for someone in college, starting an internship teaching war refugees english) is something my boyfriend really likes about me. Now, I think the fact that I have my shit together attracted him to me as its indicative of maturity, and I know he brags to his friends about it, but I don't think the titles really do anything for him, so much as what it says about me :dunno:
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: I know for a fact my bf doesn't give a shit about my "status," but then again I could care less about him being an auditor. In fact it bores me to tears and I just respect him for being able to have that job and not die of boredom :p But seriously, I could care less about "status." I care about a man who has his shit together.
     
  8. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    I agree with SJ. Education, finances, and career are pretty important to me. Not a total deal breaker, but they mean an awful lot to me. I attribute this to the fact that I've pretty much put myself through college to secure a stable future for myself, both financially and career-wise. I tend to seek out others who share those thoughts/values with me.

    But, on the flip side, I have many girlfriends from high school who never set foot inside a college classroom, and don't exactly have "meaningful" careers. To them, looks are every thing in the men they seek out. That being said, however, I also have some very intelligent girl friends with a bright future ahead of them who also do not really care about this other than they guy a A job. I think a woman's view is really contributed to a plethora of factors.

    Guys on the other hand, I'm not one to speak first hand, but I see guys working trades, like my brother, who could care less about it. A woman is a woman to them, and as long as she makes him happy, he's happy.. :dunno: In fact, a friend of mine is finishing up med school, and has been with his girl for YEARS. She's still wasting away at the CC after 6 years with lofty career aspirations, and it doesn't seem to bother him one bit, whereas if that were me, that total lack of motivation would be a hige turn off. I guess I have seen many guys who can care less about "status", you're right.
     
  9. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I could care less about their job and how much they make unless I plan to marry them. If the girl is high maintenance and likes to spend money but makes $10 per hour in a field with no room for improvment that would bug me if we got really serious.

    Otherwise, I require that she is intelligent, cultured, and decently educated for the means of discussion and having meaningful conversation. Those traits don't necessary require high salaries though.
     
  10. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    I can honestly say that I dumped a guy because I couldn't respect what he did in terms of his career.

    he had a 4 yr. education in a great field and refused to work in that field; and yet chose to work in a low paying job (which he bitched about constantly) which in return made him incredibly cheap and frankly, it got annoying and i got tired of paying for the majority of things in the relationship.
     
  11. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    This is exactly what attracted me to my current gf. To a 'T.'

    This is the only reason why a girls status would matter to me as well.

    Otherwise, I don't give a shit about status. The only real thing that would bother me that would be a huge problem to me, is if my gf/fiance made more money than I did. This is a HUGE problem to me and I would not marry her if that was the case.
     
  12. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Can we make a distinction here?
    What do you mean by status? Social power? Neat job title?
    Or does this carry over into having a good career, a plan, and her shit together?

    The latter is important. It really does matter (to me) that the guy i'm dating is going to do something with his life besides hang around and drain me emotionally/financially.
     
  13. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    I think he's talking about a neat job title because obviously no one wants to date someone who isn't going anywhere in life, no matter what gender you are.
     
  14. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    i care a lot more about just about everything else.
    the only thing that has to do with a job that i care about in a girl is whether she is doing something she enjoys, which is really a reflection of her personality more than anything else.
     
  15. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Interesting, I never really thought about it before but it seems to be true. I would feel dating a guy that was a lot higher status than me though, I'd always feel like I was "below him" or feel weird being around his friends.
     
  16. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    I wont marry a woman without a college degree; but ya, for the most part i dont care what her job is as long as she has one and doesnt expect me to let her leech off me.
     
  17. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    I don't really care about my bf's status. When i left my ex husband he was making close to 90k/year and my next bf was working part time for $6.25/h (4hrs a day) the one after had no job when we met and after that couldn't keep one no matter how much he needed the money. My husband to be (4 more days) has a good income and descent position (director network operations) but that had nothing to do with my attraction to him or why we ended up together. However i do agree that if I have to compare him to all my ex's he is the most intelligent, mature, organized, clean, caring, confident and dedicated from them all. I am not sure if his position is what made him that way or if it was life in general esp 20 years in the air force but never the less he is who he is and that’s part of the whole package.

    As a girl i choose who i want to go out based on 1. personality 2. charm/looks 3. sexuality 4. interest and maturity, but as a woman i choose the one to marry based on 1. will he be a good dad 2. is he good with finances 3. is he organized, clean and have good hygiene 4. can he support family (with my help of course).
    I have also noticed that guys who don't have solid income or make less than me feel rather insecure and tend to be more moody and sensitive when it comes to simple things like bills and general expenses or budgeting so i prefer my man to make at least what i do.

    cliffs: i don't care about statute or income when it comes to dates, but i do care about the income when it comes to deciding with who i would want to start a family, however i could care less about his title or position( power).
     
  18. Doc Love

    Doc Love Guest

    The situation is for a woman, normally her status comes from the way she looks in relation to men. Men are not as social as women are. Men are also the providers so we don't see a woman's income as something to brag about. Remember Falc, this is most men.

    Women are social beings, they are only interested in increasing their social value subconsciously. This is what they are after, if you believe otherwise, you are lying to yourself. Social value increase means, nice car, nice clothes, nice job, nice shoes, things like that for the guy that she wants to be with.

    I can elaborate more if you like.
     
  19. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    while i agree with you that i dont really care about what her job status is, i find her social confidence - and therefore ability to climb the ladder in whatever career route she is - very attractive
     
  20. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    I think thats pretty obvious, men generally aren't as superficial, besides men tend to depend on themselves and thus 'status' isn't a usual concern.
     
  21. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    A woman's status is defined by her man whereas the women available to a man is dependent on his status.

    (not fiscally, but socially)


    ok maybe this is a little too old school for most women here. but this is why men dont care.
     
  22. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    I care about status to an extent, I'm a guy. I won't date a girl that is perfectly happy making a career out of being a gas station attendant or some dead end job at K-Mart, putting in her 40 hours and going home. It's just unattractive to me. My goals are big, and I want someone that I can share that drive with.
     
  23. owenstar

    owenstar New Member

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    Looks arent superficial? Men are just as bad...bahahaha


    Seriously, I couldnt care less what they do...I hope they have their shit together....but its not a make or break...attitude/looks will get them further if they dont have it all together....plus I am finding myself dating younger women, which you have to cut more slack to as they havent been in the game as long....

    In the past few months I have dated a stripper...a loan processor...a waitress who is going to nursing school...a paralegal...and I treated them all the same...it didnt really make a difference....though I was impressed by the one who had "model" on the past resume but gave it up....
     
  24. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    ok fare enough but if you had a choice between 2 girls who were showing genuine interest towards a relationship with you one being a waitress and the other being an attourney both of whom you don't know well enough to make a presumption about their personality, and both of whose looks you find attractive which one would you choose?
     
  25. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    situation not real.

    hypotheticals fail. But the lawyer.
     

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