I've got a cousin who I had been out of touch with for years, until this past January when she found me on Myspace. We started talking and got to be pretty good friends, but had a falling out in June over a bunch of crap. Since then we haven't talked at all, and occasionally would chat on Gmail from time to time. Recently, things haven't been so hostile between us, and I thought things between us were improving. She even offered to put us up during the massive evacuation for the last hurricane, even though it wasn't needed. For her, birthdays are a huge deal. Like, get 20-30 people together to go out for dinner and to a bar huge deal. Like "I don't celebrate my birthDAY, I celebrate my birth MONTH" big deal. I've got a business trip coming up, and I was able to plan it so that I'd be where she lives for her birthday (I had date options in another city as well, and have friends in the other city I could visit, but instead chose to go where she lives for her birthday). I told her about it and she immediately told me she would love for me to be at her party if I could make it. And me being me, I said I would. Now, over the time frame we had gotten close, I had loaned her a couple hundred bucks when her roommate flaked out on some bills, gave her an old TV and some furniture when she came here to visit, and paid for her to fly here to visit after my baby was born. Anyway, yesterday was my birthday. And admittedly, I really don't care about the whole birthday thing. I'm good with a nice dinner with a few friends and a couple gifts from the wife (and daughter now, who somehow picked out Madden '09 for me, she's so smart at 5 months). But from the cousin? A generic one-line email. No card, no phone call, nothing. Now I'm stuck because she knows that I'll be in town for her birthday. And I can't show up at this dinner empty handed, especially when her parents (who are "so thrilled" that her and I have a relationship again), her brother, and all her friends will be there. So I'm obligated to get something of a gift for her. My wife thinks I should just blow it off, considering the effort she made on my part yesterday. I think that's pretty nasty, even by my standards. I could go the passive-aggressive route and get something fairly nice for her just to be a dick. Or I could show up with a token bottle of wine or something, and not stay through dinner. I'm normally quite forgiving and will put on a happy face and do the right thing. But I'm not feeling it this time. Suggestions?