SRS at what point will i start lowering my standards?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by black jesus, Dec 8, 2005.

  1. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I've been alone for 5 years now. Very alone. I have gained 27lb in the last 8 months, am in the best shape of my life, and women still don't give two shits about me. I guess I either need to start dating fat chicks, or just give the fuck up and kill myself.

    I don't think I can deal wtih being alone anymore. Its just become too difficult. I'm tired of eating dinner alone every day, going to the bar alone on the weekends, not being able to go to parties because I don't have a date...

    At some point I'll be able to have sex with people that I'm unattracted to right?
     
  2. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Maybe try a new venue? It's been my experience that one of the worst places to meet people is at clubs and parties, because everyone's busy getting drunk or high and trying to get into everyone else's pants. I've had much better luck when taking courses in subjects that interest me and at small gatherings with friends.

    Also, women want to date someone they can relate to and have a good time with (where "good time" doesn't necessarily mean poon). Your general attitude or outlook may be unconsciously pushing them away, especially if you're excessively needy - women can smell that a mile away. Have a look at the way you treat people and pay attention to how they react to you, especially the ones you don't know that well. You may be projecting a different image than you think you are.
     
  3. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Here's a tip: If you really LIKE someone... they become more attractive the better you get to know them.
     
  4. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    Yeah, but I don't want to start fucking fat chicks.
     
  5. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    You don't even deserve a fat chick. Posit that your recent obsession with your body is just an expression of your superficiality. And girls don't like superficial fucks. Unless you have money. So: get more money, then you can get a woman.
     
  6. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    Last edited: Dec 9, 2005
  7. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    YES! They are totally hot. They would definately meet your strict standards. NO FAT CHICKS! Happiness is just a mail order away.
     
  8. LancerV

    LancerV Something Happened OT Supporter

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    My standards get killed on drinking and drugs, one of these days Im going to find a girl who doesnt drink or do drugs :hs:
     
  9. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    It's all in your head. As long as you think you're on the verge of failure, you are.

    Once you internalize the expecation of success, you will succeed.
     
  10. LancerV

    LancerV Something Happened OT Supporter

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    Nope, 99.99% of girls drink, and I have stopped drinking so I need to stay away from a girl that drinks :hs:
     
  11. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    what?
     
  12. SolShinobi

    SolShinobi New Member

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    The thing with girls is this....if you are lonely then it shows to them and they won't want you. They will see your internalized loneliness (as being needy) like it's a hat on your head.

    The hardest thing is to let all that go. No longer care about being with any of them. This was the hardest thing i've ever learned. As soon as i did this and lived by being me and enjoying being who i was and not cared about them....they came a runnin. Dude...don't waste your life away on thinking in that mindset. You have to grow out of making yourself emotionally needy.

    Emotinally needy dude = weak man in a woman's eyes.
     
  13. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    I've kind of being going through the same thing. I dabbled a little bit with trying to hook up with so-so looking chicks and slightly overweight chicks, but just couldn't do it. I don't need a woman to be happy, therefore I'm not going to lower my standards. Why even bother if you're not really attracted to them!
     
  14. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    at some point, you have to fuck something. I'm tired of chicks leaving me for guys with e46 m3's.
     
  15. quid

    quid I Piss Excellence OT Supporter

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    then buy an e46 m3 or stop dating shallow whores
     
  16. V!

    V! New Member

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    Get some confidence, girls can sense a man with no confidence from miles away.....

    Didn't going to the gym give you any confidence

    Oh, and why are you going to bars alone? Do you have any guy friends?
     
  17. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I lift hard all the time, but still have a long way to go before I even look presentable.

    I don't have alot of friends to hang out with right now, and ahven't for a few years.
     
  18. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    Being yourself is the fucking most important thing you can do. Act like yourself and don't change yourself to impress others. It sounds to me like you are trying to impress girls for sex. Damn, I get a lot of girls at least talking to me lately since I've stopped giving a fuck about what other people think of me.

    If you act like yourself around friends, they will eventually accept you for you. If they don't they are not good friends. It's the same thing with girls.

    Never meet girls in a bar. Gosh. 99% of them are filthy whores who only want sex and a man with lots of money

    Perhaps moving from Texas is a good idea too. (no offense)
     
  19. crunchy_black

    crunchy_black OT Supporter

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    Dunno bro.

    I go out drinking by myself.
    I get shit faced and sometimes i meet some new chicks, Doesnt happen often though.

    The guys that get the ladies are the ones that go out and try.
     
  20. Laserbeak

    Laserbeak Remember kids! Be like Billy! BEHAVE YOURSELVES!

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    Here's my two cents, which re-hashes some of the things that teo and quid said earlier, but I have a couple of things I'd like to contribute:

    Couple of questions for you:

    First off, what is it that you're looking for? A friendship with a girl? Someone to date and/or just have some good times with? Or maybe a serious relationship with the potential to have it grow into something long-term (e.g. marraige)? I've noticed that looking without knowing what you're looking for can make you feel very lost and/or frustrated that you can't find what you're looking for.

    Next, where are you going to meet people? In my experience, I completely agree with teo that the clientele at bars and clubs aren't exactly society's cream of the crop. Most are just going there to have a good time at someone else's expense, whether it's having a few drinks paid for by someone else, or by one trying to have a one-night stand. This fact alone should give you a pretty damn good idea of what these people are really like. IMO, spare yourself the trouble, drama, headaches, and/or heartaches, and avoid places like these in the first place. Outside of movies, I have yet to see a long-lasting, healthy, loving relationship come as the result of two people meeting at a bar.

    On top of this, think about the kind of people you tend to meet, and how they act. If a woman is ditching you for a guy in a fancy car and money, then that should provide you with a TON of insight as to how they live, and what they're really like underneath the surface. Do you really want to attract someone that only stays with you because of your possessions? I don't know about you, but I prefer women I want to have a relationship with to have a certain amount of depth, and shallow, materialistic, dumb as rocks drama queens don't exactly fit that bill.

    On top of this, have you taken a look at your own personality, how you treat others, and looking at how others treat you as a result? In my experience, you can learn a tremendous amount about yourself, and how you can change yourself based on the results of things you say/do to others, and how it comes back to you. However, you must be strong enough to look into yourself and find the strength from within to change. It's not easy, I'll admit, but IMO, it's much easier to change a flaw within yourself now than say, 15-20 years down the road. I'm not saying you should be overly sensitive to what others think of you, but if you keep getting the same results through your intereactions different people, then maybe there's something else that's causing that result to happen, and you should take action to correct that to make sure that doesn't happen.

    :cliffs::

    * Know what it is you're looking for before you start looking;
    * Birds of a feather, flock together;
    * You reap what you sow;
    * Know yourself, acknowledge your flaws, and change yourself according to your will.


    :)
     
  21. RUchaps

    RUchaps Active Member

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    Similarly to you, I was extremely lonely for a long time. One day, i remembered that I prefered to be alone when i was young. I never initiated convo with anyone in grade school, and i liked to be alone with my thoughts. but when i had my first gf yrs ago, I developed a habit in that relationship of seeking happiness by being reliant on another or just wanting to be with someone. I was a true introvert naturally, but i was hooked on relationships. My doctor put me on wellbutrin abuot 4 months ago and i redeveloped my natural behavior of prefering to be alone with my thoughts than in the company of others. Perhaps you, and the numerous other lonely OTers, might be in the same boat. Society has just conditioned you to seek happiness dominantely through relationships. It did for me.

    I'm not suggesting you go to your doc and get put on an antidepressant, but instead find out who you really are b/c perhaps at heart, you dont need a relationship
     
  22. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    You have got to be the most depressing person on OT. I don't think I've ever seen you post anything positive the entire time you've been on this board. You know why you don't get chicks? Because you have a horrible attitude and you are extremely shallow. You may think that you don't act like that in person but I guarantte you that it comes across to every girl you meet. They can tell that in the back of your mind you think all girls are whores so they know not to waste their time with you. Maybe if you didn't act so depressing all the time people might actually want to have something to do with you.
     
  23. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Oh snap?
     
  24. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    If it wasn't Asylum, I'd tell you to go F yourself... Seriously, blaming people for being depressed and making them feel like shit/guilty for that. That's the way to go :ugh2:
     
  25. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Its his responsibility to get treatment, and to improve. Otherwise... he can go fuck himself. But I'm really not sure we're talking about clinical depression here.
     

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