At what point is it okay to ask dating history?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by zmiller91, Nov 23, 2009.

  1. zmiller91

    zmiller91 New Member

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    Before I get into anything I am going to give a bit of back story on this girl.

    I have known this girl for nine years and she is best friends with my brother and is good friends with two of my best friends. We have hung out a lot in the past nine years and have talked a lot in the past nine years. In those past nine years I have hung out with her at my house, her house, friends house, gone to parties etc. etc. For the past month or two her and I have been getting to know each other, we text a lot and skype a lot (she goes to a different college so we cant see each other face to face). We have even driven down to see each other a few times. Now, my Thanksgiving break started on friday, as did hers, so I hung out with her and her friends on Friday, took her on a date on Saturday, and hung out with her and her friends yesterday.

    But, here comes a problem. I have absolutely no idea what her dating history is. I don't know if she has ever had a boyfriend, I have no idea if she has had sex let alone kissed a guy, and, quite honestly, I can't even take an educated guess. So, my question to you is, at what date is it appropriate to ask a girl about her history?

    Thanks in advance for all those that read and helped.
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ummm, why does it matter?
     
  3. zmiller91

    zmiller91 New Member

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    Because to have a healthy relationship i think it is essential that you know about each others past...

    Edit:
    Also, I'm not talking about knowing if she is a virgin or not, I really don't care about that. I just want to know if she has had boyfriends in the past.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well your thinking comes off immature and insecure, as if really you just want to know so you can judge it.

    Why wouldn't you just go with the flow and let it come up naturally? That's a healthy relationship.
     
  5. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    wtf, how old is this girl that you don't even know if she's ever had sex or a bf? :ugh: and how could you know her for 9 years and not know anything like that about her?
     
  6. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    It is not essential, but it is good to know. However don't demand details cause that is a little :hsugh:. I think after a while of dating you can ask or she might say stuff here and there herself.
     
  7. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i agree, i think its important to know about each others past since it has shaped her into the person that she is today

    it will most likely come up in conversation naturally. you have only been on one official date, so dont stress yet.
     
  8. zmiller91

    zmiller91 New Member

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    She is 20, and I have no idea how I don't know, but my friends don't know either.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    At least be honest and admit that by saying "dating history" you really mean you want to know her sexual partner number.
     
  10. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    why are you even bothering with this girl when you guys are so young and don't even live near each other? can't you meet girls that live by you?
     
  11. zmiller91

    zmiller91 New Member

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    I guess that would be the case if that were the truth. Unlike most guys my age, I really don't care. I'll take love over lust.

    I think shes special, our colleges are only two hours away so it's really not that far, and we live like 5 min away back home.
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Because it's a part of who they are. You learn more from a person's past than from their present. I've written at length about this before, I can't believe people still don't realize why it's very important :rofl:
     
  13. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    I personally think it is important, but you take it to the extreme. You judge people for every single non-perfect thing that might have happened in their lives and that's not good, cause we are people and we make mistakes or no just experience and live life. Having a girl who never made mistake also does not mean she will never make it, Just saying.
     
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    No but it decreases the probability of future mistakes.

    Who would you loan money to? The guy who has built 3 companies from scratch and taken them public or the guy who has declared bankruptcy 3 times and never had a real job?

    Who would you marry? The person who has never cheated and only slept with LTRs or the person with a laundry list of partners and has cheated many times?
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'm not against him knowing about her past, it's the fact that he wants to push it as if it's his business to interview her 4 weeks into dating, "so, ho9w many guys have you dated (fucked)?"

    It's the kind of thing you find out over time, that's what "getting to know" a person is.
     
  16. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    that I understand, but you once said even if a girl has had one ONS, you would not date her!
     
  17. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Better to find out early on than after you've been dating for 3 years and are head over heels in love with her.
     
  18. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    btw, i'm very high strung and analytical. Knowing all these things is part of being high strung. I can't commit to a business decision that hasn't been analyzed to death and I can't commit to a woman who hasn't been analyzed to death, either.

    I expect to be analyzed the same way :dunno:
     
  19. giz

    giz Active Member

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    wouldn't make a difference for me.

    that being said, I purposely don't ask because I don't want to know. also because I don't want to be asked.
     
  20. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Do you think you'd be judged negatively?
     
  21. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    i've been with my bf for almost 3 years and we still don't know how many partners the other has had :noes:

    as a disclaimer, i did know that he wasn't a virgin when we met and that he did have at least a couple gfs. i just don't know the specifics.
     
  22. giz

    giz Active Member

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    yes

    which I think is unfair but it's everybody's prerogative.
     
  23. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Fair enough, then. At least you're not being hypocritical about it by demanding to know hers.
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Any person who asks a question like that straight out is looking for an answer so they can then judge you.
     
  25. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Obviously.

    Kind of like when the bank checks your credit history (playing off my previous analogy) :bigthumb:
     

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