Asking out a "random" girl

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by TennisMenace, Nov 20, 2006.

  1. TennisMenace

    TennisMenace Finding Beauty in the Dissonance OT Supporter

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    So I'm 24, been out of college for 2 years and I'm having a really difficult time meeting girls in my new area. Unlike in school, I very rarely get a chance to interact with girls in daily life here. I'm frustratingly shy around people I don't know, and almost never initiate conversation with strangers (especially girls). I'm fairly outgoing once you get to know me but I definitely have confidence issues around girls and don't force myself to take the initiative nearly as often as I should.

    Anyways, I have a white collar engineering job, and every wednesday my group of friends from work go out to eat for lunch (8 or so guys)... frequently we go to a particular local cafe. There's a girl that works there that I find attractive. I've never "talked" to her, but she's taken my order several times, so she would at least recognize me and knows where I work, but nothing more than that.

    I've never had a myspace account, kinda been opposed to it (and other online dating sites). The girl at the cafe has a fairly unique first name so I ran a search for it on myspace just out of curiousity, and she indeed has an account. I now know that she is single, is 24 as well, and seems to share alot of the same interests etc. So now I'm even more intrigued and really wanting to ask this girl out.

    All of the girlfriends I've had in the past have been people I interacted with alot and got to know before actually asking them out (from class, school, church etc).

    How should I approach asking out a girl that doesn't know anything about me? In other words, should I concentrate on making small talk and "getting to know her" first, or out of the blue ask her out (something simple, lunch/coffee)... I kinda feel like a 15 year old or something asking this, but meh... I don't wanna fuck this up.

    I tend to overanalyze situations like this, so I guess I'm just looking for simple ideas/suggestions so its not completely awkward...
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    See if you can find out when she gets off work, or has a break and see if you can just chat with her a bit. Don't ask her out directly while she's working, that's disrespectful and unprofessional in my opinion.

    Just casually ask her when she gets off or has a break, and if you can chat for a bit then. Then, casually ask if she'd like to maybe go out for a drink or coffee sometime. If she says yes, ask for her number, call sometime when she isn't working ans set a place and time.
     
  3. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    Avoid doing this in future, you will get yourself assraped by saying something you should not have known.
     
  4. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    You're stalking her, and I would not mention you looked her up. That's the #1 creepy thing guys can do...

    How do you do it? You have to make small talk when you see her. Smile, be social, make her laugh when you order whatever. Then understand every 4th male customer hits on her or asks her out. If I were you, I wouldn't bother.

    There is a technique to this, and I've done it a lot in the past, but it's very complex. Read a little where I started to write an article about it here:

    http://www.friendzoned.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26

    You should be able to get the gist of it from the article.
     
  5. TennisMenace

    TennisMenace Finding Beauty in the Dissonance OT Supporter

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    interesting article...

    any particular reason why you would say I shouldn't bother, based on my post?

    and yes, I would never think of mentioning to her that I looked her up online...
     
  6. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    It's just VERY difficult to pick up on waitresses and the like. They are high "target" women, so to speak. Lots of guys hit on them, so you often have to be VERY different, VERY good at talking to women, etc. Not always, of course, but more often than not.

    If you want to meet women, you simply need to go some place public such as a bakery, Starbucks, or something similar where you can stand in line, sit near folks at small tables, and make small talk.

    Personally, I found my dogs (when bathed!) were chick magnets.

    Rule #1: Do something great to attract a woman to you. Hence dressing nice, having a nice car, or having some other outwardly visible object or trait that you can use to break the ice.
     

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