Asking her father for her hand in marriage?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by TheDude, Sep 26, 2005.

  1. TheDude

    TheDude Active Member

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    So people, I need some advice on asking the my gf's dad for her hand in marriage. I think that its the right thing to do. I really don't know exactly what to say to him or how to initiate the question with him. Also I am so busy and the only time i see him its usually just for dinner at his house on Sunday and they have about 7-9 people over and it would be kinda strange for me to ask to speak to him in the other room. Would calling him be outta the question for something like this? I have thought of everything traditional like asking him out to lunch and those things and it would never work out because of the schedules. Any advice would really help me out. I bought the ring the other day and i would really like to start planning for the proposal!
     
  2. doug05257

    doug05257 New Member

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    Definitely try to ask him in person... This is way too important to be done over the phone, don't you think? If done right, it shouldn't be too awkward to speak to him in the other room on Sunday. Just wait for the right time.
     
  3. swenjj

    swenjj New Member

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    just wondering,if he says no are you going to not marry her? i dont understand the deal with that
     
  4. NVMY03GT

    NVMY03GT New Member

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    Just say Hey <Fathers name> doyou mind if we walk outside for a second, try to do this when only a few people are around, don't do it at the dinner table or anything. Chances are you'll get a few looks and what not but pay no attention.

    He will most likely say sure no problem.

    Walk outside with him, and say. I have something to tell you and Im not quite sure how to say it, but as you know <Insert Daughters Name> and I have been dating for X months, years whatever. I think it's time to take things to the next level and I'd like your's and <Insert Mother's name> blessing in marriage.

    Thats not really ASKING them if its okay to marry their daughter, but if the "bless it" its pretty much giving you the OKAY.

    This is what I did with my wife's parents and they were ESTATIC about the entire thing.

    By the way. Nice job on asking her parents first, it really gives a nice impression :).

    Be prepared for him to tell her mother though ASAP.

    Also tell them to keep it under their hat as Im assuming girlfriend doesn't know about it yet.
     
  5. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    agree with this approach. however if possible omit the "i don't know how to say this" part. pretend you have balls and you DO know how to say it, and just get to the point. asking for their blessing is better than asking their permission, because after all you two are both adults and can do whatever the fuck you like. it would just be nicer to have the parents' blessing and i think it's important that you ask them in person.
     
  6. Ninjarider

    Ninjarider New Member

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    Here's what I did...

    My father-in-law is a firefighter. I found out his schedule and found an excuse to get out of the house. I then went to his work and asked to speak to him in private. I found that approaching him at work guaranteed me some privacy. I knew that my mother-in-law or fiancé wouldn't be disturbing us at his work.

    When I asked him, I just said that I had bought a ring and that out of respect, I wanted him to be the first to know that I'd be popping the question. I didn't ask for his blessing because:
    A) I knew he'd be happy that we'd be getting married
    B) Even if he said no, I'd do it anyways
    I told him that him and his daughter had always been really close and that it was important for me to tell him my intentions myself and that I was planning on taking good care of his daughter. I then told him to feel free to tell his wife about the proposal but that his daughter would probably appreciate telling her herself.

    At the wedding during his speech, he thanked me for coming to see him first and I know that I gained respect from him for it.

    I definitely recommend you speak to her father first.
     
  7. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    All I have to say is good luck. I get to do the same thing here very very soon. Her dad won't say know, and I expect more of a "its about time" reaction. Her parents love me, and have already done alot for us in our relationship.

    I am not into the traditional stuff very much, we wont even have a traditional wedding. However I think her parents both are due the respect of me asking them. I think all parents are due that respect. Its thier daughter that they have raised, and I am taking her away...

    Anyways, good luck to ya...
     
  8. Another Loser

    Another Loser New Member

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    Wow. You are saying your schedule gets in the way of asking.

    If you really cared and loved her you'd make time in your "busy" schedule.
     
  9. Coco Monkey

    Coco Monkey OT Supporter

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    the movie 'meet the parents' should be all the help you need.
     
  10. TheDude

    TheDude Active Member

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    not that it gets in the way. i was just thinkin more like taking him out to lunch or something like that to talk to him about it ya know....thanks all for the help :bigthumb:
     
  11. ndnxtc

    ndnxtc New Member

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    Get her pregnant :dunno:
     
  12. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    dont have to say anything really, you name says it all.
     
  13. hayte997

    hayte997 Guest

    I plan on just asking my GF when the time comes, she's gonna be the one answering and it's your lives. Maybe it's because I'm not very close to her parents anymore, if I liked them alot then I'd probably ask her dad first but I've lost my respect for her parents which really is a sad thing that she "has to choose" with us as I don't enjoy being around her parents.
     
  14. 72SSAbody

    72SSAbody New Member

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    Geee...that's a divorce waiting to happen.
     
  15. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :werd: why waste the time now? It's only going to cost you allimony and/or child support later.
     
  16. Nasty Burger

    Nasty Burger Guest

    :x::werd:
     
  17. alfred

    alfred New Member

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    I suggest you take up some of the advice the kind people here have given. Pull him aside when you see an opportunity for it, and if you don't see an opportunity, it's up to you to create one.


    But yeah, like others have said.. don't ask him, more like inform him of your decision.
     
  18. johan

    johan Active Member

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    ha ha ha calling him? CALLING him? Why don't you just send him a fax?
    Understand that what you are really doing is using this opportunity to bond with him and show RESPECT for your future father-in-law.

    If you and your girl really love each other, you'd probably get married even if daddy's answer came back as a NO.

    You're not really asking "permission", this is a formality and the purpose (in modern day society anyways) is to show respect and honor his position in the family with this token, but important, gesture.

    And he, unless you or he is a total jerk, understands this and gives his blessing knowing that you've asked him as a mark of respect.

    And come on, you should know your future father-in-law's response already.

    At least, enough to know whether his response is to hug you warmly and welcome you into the family...or to grab the shotgun and threaten to kill you.

    Don't do this over the phone -- that ought to be obvious. You'll turn a warm and important moment into a disrespectful mockery of what should've happened.
    The only way calling would be considered ok, is if you're several states away, or in another country and can't manage a family visit.

    Even then, I'm sure she visits her folks once in a while. Take the dad/mom aside during one of these visits.

    Demonstrate you're not a schmuck off the streets, that you're a man of class and breeding. You know what to do.
     
  19. Labster

    Labster OT Supporter

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    My gf's parents aren't together and she's not really close with her dad but I'm still, out of respect going to ask him when the time comes. Her mom's answer is all that matters to her and to me but her mom loves me. It doesn't hurt that I play on a coed softball team with her.
     

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