Asking for a date scares me.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by RichieZero, Jan 17, 2005.

  1. RichieZero

    RichieZero All I got in this world, is my balls, and my word. OT Supporter

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    Really. :hs:

    It never ceases to amaze me, either. As an amature rally driver, going 60 around dirt corners doesn't scare me in the least, knowing my life is being decided by four contact patches smaller than my hand. But the thought of speaking a handful of words to another human makes my palms sweaty.

    Damn, I'm pathetic. :hsd:
     
  2. eisenflower

    eisenflower ..□ □ □ □ I

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    Just grow some balls and ask. WTF do you have to lose? If you don't ask it's a 100% chance you're losing, if you do ask, you've got a 50% chance at either a yes or a no. Suck it up and be a man.
     
  3. D

    D A guiltless state of self awareness.. The process

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    Just do it. Worst that can happen, she says no. Be yourself, someone will say yes. Good luck killa. ;)
     
  4. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    Well you realized that you are afraid. So, now you have to bring yourself away from the feeling. "Detatch" yourself, so to speak. You know the emotion, so get away from it. Have an out-of-mind experience where you just get it over with.

    Just say, "hey, fuck this, I'm doing it".

    When I'm nervous about something I just spontaneously do it before I realize how afraid I really am.

    Do it before you regret doing it. Because, at the end of the day, you'll regret it if you DON'T do it.
     
  5. Gonrad

    Gonrad OT Supporter

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    It'll be easier if you ask a person while they are not with their friends or around a bunch of people (i.e. the conversation is just between you and that person with no onlookers)

    Being humiliated and rejected by a person is one thing but having to face that around a bunch of people will make you feel even worse. :dunno:

    But for those that can handle it either ways, I think it shows true confidence. Something a girl might actually like. ;)
     
  6. Myst

    Myst New Member

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    No is a word often heard throughout one's life. Its the worst answer you can get, but it won't kill you. You only live once, go for it.
     
  7. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

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    Funny....I'm the same way. I ride motorcycles and love going to the track. Knowing that any slip could potentially kill me but asking a girl out takes me alot of time to work up the courage to do it. Unless I'm drunk then I can ask without a problem.

    Kinda funny cause when I'm drunk if a girl turns me down cause I asked to dance or whatever I walk off thinking it's her loss. I know that's the attitude to have when asking a girl out but when I'm sober I can't work up the confidence. It sucks!!!
     
  8. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Dont ask, you have to kinda of get to that point where you know they like you and things just happen.
     
  9. Muricane

    Muricane Active Member

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    When I was much younger I had the same problem. Then I realized that I simply don't care what people think -- now I go talk to anyone about anything without any problems. :o
     
  10. vicman

    vicman New Member

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    Ritchie man, I have the same problem. I have been in crazy fights, have had threats on my life, guns to the back of my head , but nothing more gives me more dread than asking out a beautiful woman. I really dont understand myself sometimes.....someone help me too!!!:sadwavey:
     
  11. RichieZero

    RichieZero All I got in this world, is my balls, and my word. OT Supporter

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    Thanks for the replies, everyone. I think I'm gonna go through with it tonight.

    You've nailed down the big reason why I'm asking her. Sure, I'd love to get to know her, she seems like a wonderful person. But I see her every day, and every day I tell myself, "I'm gonna ask her out." Never happens.

    So, I can either keep lying to myself until another guy gets a hold of her, or I can move now and take a chance.

    The only thing that really worries me about her saying no is having to look her in the face every day afterwards. :wtc:
     
  12. SPECSofDUST

    SPECSofDUST New Member

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    hmm...send us updates....AND PICTURES!....syke:-D
     
  13. RichieZero

    RichieZero All I got in this world, is my balls, and my word. OT Supporter

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    Well, I finally found my balls, and asked. She's already got a boyfriend. :hs:

    Here was the strange thing: Afterwards, while I was walking away, I was grinning uncontrollably. I couldn't help but look around and smile at shit. Why? Because I can't remember the last time I was this scared. Public speaking in high school scared me, but not giving a rats ass what the other kids thought of me helped there. Here, I was admitting my innermost feelings to another person, who's feelings I care a lot for.

    But I did it, and I'm a better person. I didn't reason my way out of it, I didn't come up with some bullshit excuse. I can't remember being so proud of myself. :bigthumb:

    So now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some vodka to down.
     
  14. NateMeister

    NateMeister Blah blah??

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    Good job man. :)
     
  15. Yardsale

    Yardsale OT Supporter

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    :hug:
     
  16. NSX

    NSX OT Supporter

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    Here's the thing.

    Us guys tend to put a particular beautiful woman on a pedestal.

    Here's the cycle:

    You see her------>You think, "Hmmm, she's kinda cute."-------->You go home and think about her--------> You wake up and the first thing on your mind is her.-------->Then you think about her some more---------->Pretty soon, you are building her up in your mind that she's the greatest thing since sliced bread---------->By this time, you've put her so high up on that psychological pedestal that you get terrified at the thought of asking her out because you want her to like you SO badly-------------> Then you get nervous around her, completely not being yourself and you say the stupidest things you normally wouldn't say ------------>You finally get the nerve to ask her out and she says "no"------------>You feel like shit because you did this to yourself------------->Then you hate her guts while you wallow in self-pity.

    The cycle starts back up again with the next cute girl you meet.



    The antidote: Keep telling yourself it's just a girl. Don't care so much. Don't let yourself think that she all that high and mighty. When you see an interesting girl and you think of even asking her out, do it right then and there. Better to do it sooner than later because once you build things up, it makes it that much harder of a fall later on. At least this way, when she says no in the beginning, it doesn't hurt your ego as much because you didn't invest a lot of your time and emotions in it in the first place. No biggie. Makes moving on to the next girl that much easier.
     
  17. BiffHenderson

    BiffHenderson New Member

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    Here's to trying. At least you gave it shot.
     
  18. RichieZero

    RichieZero All I got in this world, is my balls, and my word. OT Supporter

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    I...uh...I don't think like that. :hsugh: :o
     
  19. meatball

    meatball you're the grasshole ya grasshole OT Supporter

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    same as me brother....but I've been dating my best friend for the last 3 years (didn't have to ask, we always had attraction)....so I was never really hurt by it..good luck though!
     
  20. Gandin

    Gandin New Member

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    Dude, good job man. I'm in the same situation, sort of. I've been watching this girl for awhile now, and I decided to ask her out. And I was going to on tuesday, but I didn't. Why? I don't know, nerves maybe, she was with friends, ect. Today, I said, "sure its fun to like her and think I might have a chance," but it would be better if I could say, "yeah, its awesome dating this girl." Is it worth a possible rejection? Hell yeah, if she says no, there will be others. Gauranteed. I asked her today, she said yes. It's only a casual date, but it's a step up from, "hi" in the halls. I'm proud, a little nervous about the date, but hell, if she's as perfect as I think she is, certainly she'll be interested, otherwise...she's far from perfect for me.
     
  21. God of Thunder

    God of Thunder New Member

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    Let me tell you something.....I was in the same boat as you.....never dated much in high school because I was too scared to ask girls out. Well, one time I thought "what the hell" and did it. It actually worked and was the biggest confident booster in the world. Now its ALOT easier to do it. The first is the hardest.
     
  22. two30v

    two30v New Member

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    Werd, Yet I still find that I can be intimidated by some people ? not many just the odd one or two.
     

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