SRS As you get older, your friends lessen in number...and its a sad reality

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by SHINOBIENDO, Feb 21, 2008.

  1. SHINOBIENDO

    SHINOBIENDO OT Supporter

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    I use to have so many friends but lately I've realized I've neglected to keep some close ones. Its a combination of going off to College, having a long term relationship and just having priorities.

    As we are older how do you meet friends aside from work?
     
  2. Sirc

    Sirc Dr. Hourse Crew #1

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    It's a sad reality. But by the time you're 22-23 if you have a friend whom you can put your life into their hands, you're a very wealthy person.

    My best friend is like a brother to me and I am very glad every day to have him in my life.

    I met him through other friends during car related things.
     
  3. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    I do have some very close friends whom I would consider brothers. Some I trust more than others in certain things. But I just hope we continue being good friends for life. Having good friends to count on is definitely one of the greatest treasures for me.

    I do wish I could find ways to make more friends though...it's not easy now that i'm 25. Gotta find some avenues.
     
  4. Mulsanne

    Mulsanne The Man = Funk Fusion Chaos

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    I agree with you that the number of friends becomes less but I think the quality of friendship becomes much greater as you end up holding a respect for the other that wasnt possible earlier in life :dunno:

    and the friendships that stand the test of time are invincible :coold:
     
  5. Punky72

    Punky72 New Member

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    You know when I was in high school I had more friends then I could even count. However, as I got older those friendships faded and most of us grew a part. I now have 5 or 6 friends total. It's more and more difficult to maintain friendships because we all have our own things in life to take care of..work, kid's, SO's...A TRUE friend will understand your busy lifestyle and even if you don't speak everyday, when you do talk or hang out it feels as if no time has lapsed. I personally don't mind not having "tons" of friends because the few I do have are more valuable then all the money in the world. I would much prefer to have one true friend in life then to have a whole bunch of okay friends that usually let you down anyway.
     
  6. Bodhi

    Bodhi My crotch is red .. my lambos blue .. and ill be g

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    same deal with me bro ..

    .. id rather have 2 or 3 people in my life that I trust with absolution .. than 2 or 3 hundred .. that could care less if i got too wasted and needed a ride home .. or weren't there at the drop of a hat if something came up ..

    .. cut the bullshit people out of your life .. because most people suck anyway ..
     
  7. Malicious

    Malicious Whats in your hatch?

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    A good friend of mine just moved out of the place we shared a few weeks back. To be honest, I was looking forward to it for months. He started dating a friend of my girlfriend and became just too annoying to deal with anymore.

    I lost another close friend as a result of this incident: http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3634019

    To answer the original question, I've met a couple great people through my job (suppliers). I'm technically not supposed to be "friends" with them due to the nature of my position, but we keep it under the radar.

    I also met another now close friend through cars (I helped him do some work on his at my place a couple summers ago).

    I'm also back in school part-time, so I should meet a few people there by the time I'm done in 3 years.

    People change over time, friends go away, you make new friends... no big deal :wiggle:
     
  8. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    It's better to have 1 or 2 close friends than 100 acquaintances. Things changed alot when everyone in my group got married. Some folks completely disappeared, others I hear from once every few months, and 2 others I'm lucky to hear from once a year, if that.

    I have 3 good girl friends, one is from my office, the other 2 are wives of 2 of my husband's friends. I find it hard as a woman to find a GOOD friend because of all the drama/gossip that makes the women's world go round. God dang, I have this one girlfriend, my hubby and I have known her and her hubby since our college days...well we've been trying for nearly 8 months to get together with them and she keeps putting it off. I finally found out through another friend that she doesn't want to come around because she gained alot of weight and wants to lose it before we meet up again :rofl: Jesus Christ, I just wanna see my old friend, I don't care what she looks like. And it's not like she ballooned up to 300 pounds. From a pic I saw it looks like she could stand to lose 20-30 pounds, but whatever.
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2008
  9. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    26 and not a single friend.

    Damn. :o
     
  10. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I used to have so many friends when I was younger and I think the reason for the change is that communication is different as an adult. We expect our friends to be more on the same page as us and have less tolerance for crap.
     
  11. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    ^^ werd. Some folks I don't talk to anymore because they haven't grown up yet. Some expect the world to be at their fingertips, they don't realize that you have to work for some things and sometimes you have to go through trial and error to get to a certain point. It gets annoying having to explain to some folks that a mortgage and car payments take presidence over just going and blowing a hundred (or fivve hundred) bucks on a random trip or other misc unwise purchases.
     
  12. daaarn

    daaarn New Member

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    it's a scary thought. i'm barely out of college (well, technically i'm back in school now for some postbacc stuff) and i've already noticed a pretty big drop off in terms of keeping in touch with friends. i can only imagine what it'll be like when we all start really settling into our careers. :hs:
     
  13. Matt550

    Matt550 New Member

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    I have been very blessed and feel truly luck to have the same group of friends I have had since kindergarten. Im 29 now. There are still 7-9 people I see on a regular basis that I grew up with. I work with a couple of them, live close to others. We all have our own lives and wives and kids and what not, but we still enjoy hanging out and having fun together. Its awesome, and wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world.

    I have another group of friends I met when I started going to church about 12 years ago, and those people are awesome as well.

    Yes friends do come and go. Ive lost touch with some people over the years and its sad, but thats life. Like I said, im truly blessed to have the friends I do.
     
  14. fluentinsilence

    fluentinsilence New Member

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    Making and maintaining friends is a full-time job and I'm pretty functional running alone, so I tend to go that way.

    I'm losing another person I spend a lot of time with because he got a new job at a law firm. Good for him I say; increased income, the structure of a professional work environment (aside from his usual restaraunt/retail experiences), and the like. However, it comes with conditions; it comes with him losing a lot of free time so whatever plans I had for us for something to do, those are now canceled and it seems to be a pattern for things to come.

    Same goes for the other people I know; they're either too involved in their job or their gf (who is making them miserable btw but they don't seem to leave a bad situation) and it affects everyone else. We're all drifting apart.

    But it happens to most groups it seems. People go in different directions. I think you find camaraderie mostly in the activities you enjoy doing. If you enjoy skydiving, playing golf, offroading, etc. - you will find people there that share your interests, you build rapport, and therefore can create a friendship.
     
  15. AlohaRacing

    AlohaRacing Freak that bitch out

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    2 of my closest friends that I've known for 12+ years both got married in mid '07. I haven't seen either of them since. :hsugh: I guess that's what happens. I'll be 30 in a few months and have maybe 2-3 CLOSE friends now...the rest are aquaintances.
     
  16. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Just because you don't spend every free second with your friends, like you used to when you were younger, doesn't mean they aren't friends anymore.

    I disagree with the whole topic of this thread. NOWHERE is it written that because you're getting older, the number of friends you have has to decrease. In fact, for most people I know, they increase so you're wrong.....at least from my perspective and I'm officially an old fart.

    Besides most people that I enjoy being around realize that the number of friends on has isn't as important as the quality of those friends. Hell when I was drinking and partying in my mid 20s, I had tons of "friends" that I partied with all the time. I was constantly going out and having fun.

    However, the vast majority of these, so called, "friends" were nowhere to be found when I really needed friends. I went through some excruciating times in my life and these "friends" simply couldn't be bothered to be supportive. They didn't want me dragging them down but I really needed help and they were no where to be found.

    Fuck that.....give me one awesome friend that will be there when I need them over 1,000,000 friends that are fair weather friends.

    I read this somewhere and I agree:
    A true friend is someone that walks into the room when the rest of the world walks out.
    That's the kind of friends I have today.
     
  17. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    I have a bunch of friends. To me nothing is more important than friends and family for all aspects of life including health and longevity. Not everyone has to be a lifelong friend for you too keep tabs on.

    It's a choice to not keep up with friends based on the false belief that some things are just more important. With things being just that, things. Growing up and moving on with life is a joke. Just because you have a wife and kids and a house doesn't mean you can't have plenty of friends. You just have less time for them.

    People that don't have a lot of friends (Not talking about very close friends but people that are more than aquaintences) either don't have hobbies or don't choose to find others in their hobbies (I have several hobbies where it's usually considered solitary but I still find ways to incorporate it into socializing like drawing). Or they settle and convince themselves that they have just grown up and that others just need to catch up. It's bullshit.

    All I know is that if you don't have a strong network of people or learn to constantly renew your network of friends you are probably going to be fucked when you are older. It's a sad fact that as we gain the technology to connect we isolate ourselves further. This is a problem because when you retire and prattle around if you don't have a bunch of people to do something with you won't last long.

    Oh ya, I have 2 friends that I have known since I was 3. It's easy to talk to someone once you leave that grown up attitude that they will reject you and just start a conversation, especially if they are doing something that interests you. They won't snap at you for talking to them. hell just look at forums like this. People chatting constantly about everything. Nothing is different in real life. It's ironic that children have healthier social habits than most adults. They don't give a shit about if the person they are about to talk to will yell at them and they are better for that sense of curiosity.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2008
  18. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    Funny you should mention this. I was the last of my friends from college to get married. I was kinda pissed/hurt that they disappeared after their weddings. When I met my Mr. Right I promised myself I wouldn't do that to my friends. So fast forward a few years, we get married, I told my friends I'd still be around. Well instead of me disappearing, some of them disappeared instead :dunno: Maybe I'm just destined to be left behind :rofl:
     
  19. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    I told myself as well that I would never disappear from my good friends's lives if I can help it.
     
  20. Legend Zero

    Legend Zero OT Supporter

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    i think we all like to tell ourselves that, and i've held true to it so far.. but i wonder for how much longer?

    sometimes the things we'd like to believe isn't always what ends up happening. :hs:
     
  21. Ancoats

    Ancoats New Member

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    I dont agree.

    Maybe I'm just lucky, but I do have alot of friends which means my weekends are always booked up (I'm 23)

    However, me and my best friend have been friends since we were 11, and we are still best friends to this day, even though we dont speak as often as we used to - what with me moving away for college, however, we both know we would do anything for the other.

    Maybe I'm just lucky?

    But even so, you can always meet new people regardless of what age you are. Just gotta get out there and find them. (I find my newer friends from following the soccer team i support everywhere and so there is always someone to bump into at a game)
     
  22. Noparking

    Noparking Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    I'm 22 and I would say that I have at most 2-3 very close friends that would do anything for me and I would do anything for them. I would say I have many people in my life that I would consider friends, but more on the hangout and watch the basketball game type of people, not someone I would trust my life with. It's really interesting how much things start to effect friendships and how that can then lead to further distancing between two friends. The one thing that I've learned from my fathers mistakes it that you always need a good friend/s. He got married at 20 worked until 55 as a CPA and has maintained no friendships due to his work life. This is something I will never let myself do.
     
  23. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    damn im not lookin forward to this now :sadwavey:
     

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