LGBT As my first question to OT...

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by kidwiththeshirt, Aug 22, 2007.

  1. kidwiththeshirt

    kidwiththeshirt I'm gay, big deal, wanna fight about it?

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    Ok, so let me give a little background to my first year of being out.

    I started going out to gay clubs towards the beginning of August in 2006, and my very first night out was a Thursday. Little did I know, the club I went to wasn't the 'happening' place on that particular day of the week. I was there alone and pretty much wandering around and catching just about every guy looking at me.

    I found a spot to just sit and people watch when after a while, two guys approached me. They said they saw me sitting there alone and wondered why I was, and invited me to join their group and conversate with them. They were 25, 32, and 30, whereas I was only 18 at the time. After talking with them for a while, they obviously could tell that I wasn't at the right place for the night, so they offered to have me follow them to the club of choice for the evening.

    I follow them there, have a great time, and end up getting a kid's number on my very first night of being out.

    Since then, I've dated only one person who I was with for about six months. He was 23 when we met, and turned 24 in January. To me, our relationship wasn't really what most people consider a relationship. After we broke up, which we decided as a mutual thing, I realized that I viewed the relationship as more of a learning experience and considered him, if nothing, an older brother or teacher.

    In my year of being out, I've slept with, meaning there was anal sex involved, a total of 10 people. As far as only fooling around with guys, the total number, including the ten that I slept with, is around sixteen or seventeen. Now, from what I'm told, I'm fairly attractive and it's not difficult for me to find people who would like to take me home after a night at the club, with or without alcohol being involved.

    When I first started going out, and during my relationship, I always thought that I wouldn't be the type to whore around. I will admit, a couple of the boys who I did end up having one night stands with would be impossible to turn down, judging on their appearance and the fact that it was totally fun and I enjoyed every minute of it.

    My question is this: why is it so hard to find guys who actually are looking for relationships? I will admit I have no self control, and it's possible that because I gave it up on the first night they lost interest, but because I had sex with my ex on the first night and we stayed together, I believe there are those guys out there that don't mind having sex on the first night.

    I'm only 19 and from what people tell me, I only look like I'm 14-15. I have a slender build and a natural tan. Compared to most in the great city of "WhOrlando", I'm relatively genuine and am more mature than most people my age. I find that actually kind of interesting, seeing as how I look younger than I am, but act older...

    Anyway, is it an all across the board type deal that gay guys are right when they are stereotyped as being promiscuous? All I want is someone that I can share my experiences with as far as learning and growing up as a gay individual.

    As far as friends go, I haven't really established a gay group of friends, because like I said I am more mature than most of my peers, and typically people who are older than I am don't agree with having someone as young as myself in their clique. Out of the first three guys I met the first night, the only one I who keep in touch with, and actually consider my best friend, is the 33 year old. He's helped me with a ton of things, and I even call him before I call my parents in situations that have arose in the past.

    I dunno, any advice would be greatfully appreciated and I thank everyone for their time in reading my wall'o'text.

    Btw, my myspace is www.myspace.com/kidwiththeshirt
     
  2. stolid_agnostic

    stolid_agnostic One who is both stolid and agnostic. Get a diction

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    man you're a cutie :naughty:


    I think that most gay men are scared from their years of oppression and never went through all that on and off relationship thing during high school that most straight people do. so, they are forced to grow up and learn much later in life. in my experience, most gay people jump into relationship after relationship or sleep around during their twenties, then want something serious after.
     
  3. stolid_agnostic

    stolid_agnostic One who is both stolid and agnostic. Get a diction

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    by the way, welcome to the closet!
     
  4. kidwiththeshirt

    kidwiththeshirt I'm gay, big deal, wanna fight about it?

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    Thanks :)

    Yeah, from what I've noticed there are a lot of people who are promiscuous, especially in Orlando.

    I'm not exactly proving that wrong, either, considering in my year of being out and the amount of people I fooled around with, not even counting the fact that six months of that year I was in a relationship! So technically, I could possibly be somewhere around 20 individual sexual encounters with random boys :(
     
  5. stolid_agnostic

    stolid_agnostic One who is both stolid and agnostic. Get a diction

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    the first thing is that you should not feel bad

    it is completely normal and completely natural. you only question yourself because of the highly conservative society in which you were raised. if you'd been born in other areas, you wouldn't think another thought, and yet in others you'd be devastated by it.

    just have fun but be safe
     
  6. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    I'm pretty sure its male nature to hunt - and be promiscuous, not just gay-male.

    so when you combine 2 males - its.... doubly so...
     
  7. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    oh and.. yea - you're hot.
     
  8. kidwiththeshirt

    kidwiththeshirt I'm gay, big deal, wanna fight about it?

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    Yeah, I'm definitely careful and I always carry condoms just in case they don't have any, even though thankfully a couple of times the 'bigger' guys did cause they said my condoms wouldn't fit them haha.

    and ty sholnay :)
     
  9. aLwZjIttERy

    aLwZjIttERy Per vicis adveho verum...

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    welcome! :wavey:
     
  10. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    well from my point of view ive been through the same things
    i went through a spell where i would meet a guy and within an hour or two we'd be making out and gettin hot and heavy
    next thing you know im sucking his dick or im in the bedroom takin it like a cheerleader on prom night
    then id really like the guy but could never figure out why they bail
    I reached a point where i got tired of it all (I was 22) and decided that i wasnt going to put out on the first date anymore
    well then i would go on dates and find guys would ditch me after they realized i wasnt going to be having sex
    it was a little disappointing, but far far easier to deal with than if i had gave them a ride on the tilt a whirl
    well sometime went by with random unsuccessful dates and a phase where i decided i wasnt going to even date anymore
    then i met a guy that didnt whore around, had good morals, was able to date without having sex etc
    I realized after a month of being friends that this was the guy i have been waiting for
    we started dating in november, and made it official dec 10th
    here it is 8 months later and we still havent had sex
    i know alot of people dont feel that is necessary to build a good relationship, but for me, i wanted to know that we can have a good relationship without the sex
    i noticed that with alot of my previous boyfriends that when we werent having sex we didnt really have much to do
    with Kevin, we go out to clubs, hang out with other couples, go to dinners movies vacations etc all without the sex
    I know when we are ready we are going to rock each others worlds
    but being burned in out past has us taking things slow
    we get made fun of by other gay guys telling us were amish or whatever, but guess what, were still together :)
    It seems so many want to get off and move on, i want to make sure we both have enough invested that it isnt just a quick fling
    so i guess what im trying to say is yes there are guys who are in it for more than sex, is it the majority? not in my experience
    but can u find the good ones? absolutely
    thing is, maybe keep your hormones in check for awhile and see if the guy sticks around
    watch how he is in his single life
    if he bounces from guy to guy, not a good sign
    idk, hopefully that wasnt too much babbling and u can pull something helpful from that :)
     
  11. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    :wavey: Welcome to our little corner. Please remember to PayPal me the application fee so that I can process your application on becoming a full fledged Closet member including access to our huge gay porn thread that is only viewable once you PayPal us.
















    :hsugh:
     
  12. kidwiththeshirt

    kidwiththeshirt I'm gay, big deal, wanna fight about it?

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    Yeah, I understand and thanks for your input :)

    It's hard for me to keep my hormones in check though, cause I'm still only 19 and I get more horny than a rabbit...but, honestly, out of all the guys that I've fooled around with, I'd say 90% of the time they started it when I would just want to cuddle and fall asleep.

    I guess though, I could have said no, but like you said, then what if they just got disappointed that I wasn't gonna put out and then never talked again...then a) I missed out on sex and b) I won't be talking to them again.

    So I guess it's like taking a chance, but to me it seems like a lose lose situation :(
     
  13. kidwiththeshirt

    kidwiththeshirt I'm gay, big deal, wanna fight about it?

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    How much is it? I'm kind of strapped for money at the moment, I'm over my limit on two credit cards and car payment comes out Friday :(
     
  14. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    I was only kidding. I recently found out thru a closet/ot lurker that LifeOut.com has lots of free streaming porn in case you could use some.
     
  15. kidwiththeshirt

    kidwiththeshirt I'm gay, big deal, wanna fight about it?

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    Heh, I don't really think I need too much...lol
     
  16. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    lol then it sounds like your in a different position then i was in
    if you still want sex then who cares
    just have sex with whoever you feel like and if one of em sticks around for more than a month u might have a keeper :dunno:
    i was at the point where i didnt care about sex anymore and wanted a companion and someone to share my life with
    seems like you'll be alright either way
    win win lol
     
  17. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    I think we all go through our "whore" phase at some point... and each of our whore phases are different lengths.

    From March of 1997 to December 1998, I was in a whore phase and was VERY promiscuous. But, after that, I was ready for a monogamous, committed relationship.

    I'm definitely a "nester" and have been made fun of for being such a "lesbian" because I'm such a nester and want a relationship.

    But, in the end, men are men. And men can be very sexually-focused... gay or straight.

    So, when you get two, or twenty, or a hundred men with high sex-drives together in a club or at a party... well, it's going to get sexual.

    Men are very sexual beings, by nature... it's just a matter of time before you can find a man who is also relationship-oriented.
     
  18. kidwiththeshirt

    kidwiththeshirt I'm gay, big deal, wanna fight about it?

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    Well I'm not going to deny that I like sex, because I do, and would love to have it all day every if I could. I would, though, much rather prefer it be with one person than different people.
     
  19. stubby77

    stubby77 New Member

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    Kiddo you're young, you're experiencing things. Be safe ALWAYS, be honest with the people you have fun with and keep an open mind. Sex can be sex but it has to be stated as such with the person or people you are with. This means that you shouldn't be cuddling with the person, and telling them you miss them. It's been done to me on at least a few occasions and it's not fair. (kicks away soap box) But I think everyone else is giving you sound advice...

    BE SAFE, USE PROTECTION and GOOD HONEST COMMUNICATION.

    If you want free porn check out redtube!
     
  20. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    understood... that's a great goal... sounds very healthy.
    And you'll get there eventually... you just gotta keep your spirits high and keep your eyes on the lookout for the quality guy... he'll show up eventually.
     
  21. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    :werd: You might even meet him at the Taco Bell drive thru while waiting on your food. I miss my Bradley :wtc:
     
  22. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    you might even find him on myspace
    :)

    (it's where I met stubby77)
     
  23. kidwiththeshirt

    kidwiththeshirt I'm gay, big deal, wanna fight about it?

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  24. stubby77

    stubby77 New Member

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    Sam is too good to me :) He's awesome to me and I feel that he has a point. You're young kiddo. Take your time, enjoy and don't settle!
     
  25. kidwiththeshirt

    kidwiththeshirt I'm gay, big deal, wanna fight about it?

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    I've thought about meeting people off of myspace...or adam4adam, but i'd much rather meet someone in person, and hopefully not at a club.
     

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