SRS Arrogance

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by TenSteel, Feb 20, 2006.

  1. TenSteel

    TenSteel Ted Cruz suicide hotline OT Supporter

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    Little background: I'm currently enrolled in an x-ray tech program, been in it for about a year and a half. The head instructor of my program had given me some feedback towards the beginning of the program that I came off as cocky. I didn't hear anything for a while from him after that, then ...

    Towards the end of my first year in the program, I started getting the same feedback from people out at my clinical internships. The clinical instructors were pulling me aside and telling me that I was pissing everyone off. The past 3 clinical sites I've been to, the current one included, have all pulled me aside and told me this.

    The strange thing is that I have no idea that I'm doing it when they tell me. I'm a very verbal person-- definately not a shy person. Right now the only way I feel like I can stop this "arrogant" behavior is to shut my mouth and not talk to anyone while I'm at these places.

    I've talked to my instructors about it, they've suggested "being more humble"-- which is definately my goal-- but I don't want to kiss these peoples' asses and patronize them. How can I find a happy medium?
     
  2. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    haha, man ...

    I have been down your road ...

    the only way that it will phase out is through time, or changing your focus ...

    when the 'behaviour' occurs, what are you thinking about?? what is your frame of reference??

    answer that and you will solve your problem
     
  3. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    If you can't help it, then you can attempt to elliminate some of the "bad" by compliments and being thankful in general.
     
  4. Kytro

    Kytro I am become death, shatterer of worlds

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    Not sure. Do you talk to people like you know everything, and you are explaining it to them?

    No one likes a figjam :)
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Its simple , you need to fill people's lives constanly with love and light, instead of the darkness and misery you have put them thru now.

    'unconsiously' you are saying these 'things' to the people you are with that 'apparently' makes them feel much much more worse then you can imagine.

    You are hurting people's feelings, while you are unconsiously insensetive yourself, my knowing is that you don't even think that these words are hurtfull to them.

    You must look deep within and analyse what you are saying , this to re-check that what you are saying maybe really hurtfull to the person you are adressing with.

    In other words, what you say or do is never without 'risk' that you should calculate in your actions before you emit them onto others.

    One more thing is ask yourself this, are you with 'other' people wanting them to make you unhappy or happy?' , Happy i hope, then

    The medium is to be a loving and helping person.

    There was more on that in the happyness asylum wisdome thread, everything acts like a mirror reflecting back on you. Its good to see that they communicated back to you tho, now you have something to think about.
     
  6. B_RowL

    B_RowL OT Supporter

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    I struggle with this from time to time. I am a very polite and nice person...but at the same rate if you disrepect me I am not afraid to piss people off. I basically treat people how I would like to be treated until they cross "the line" :wavey:
     
  7. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    That sounds like a pretty harsh guilt trip to me. He isn't responsible for the happiness of others, thats not his job and he will never please everyone. Conflict is a part of life.

    How can you tell he is making everyone so miserable? The fact they let him know he comes of as arrogant, to me means they aren't taking it personally and trying to help him improve. It really sounds like you're projecting a lot of stuff onto him. Seems like he is really trying to improve and the group is being very helpful by giving him feedback.

    Again I don't know what exactly he is saying thats making him come of as arrogant, but it could be something as suble as body language. If he's saying insulting or demeaning things then yeah, I agree with you but I wouldn't go as far as having to constantly go out of his way to please people.
     
  8. TenSteel

    TenSteel Ted Cruz suicide hotline OT Supporter

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    Nono, I don't say demeaning or insulting things. Darketernal-- your reply is, um ... strange. Although I appreciate your contribution to the thread, you projected a lot of things onto the situtation that aren't true. Maybe if you knew me a little better .... :)

    I talked to one of my friends about it last night, she said that I'm really intelligent and confident, and that I'm eager to show people that I know what they're talking about as soon as they tell me. Sometimes, it's bites me in the ass, and I look like a fool. Then I have to go back to square one, which really sucks.

    I'm not saying this is the ultimate or only answer, but I do pretty much agree with her. With her help and your guys' responses, I think I have a base to start from to work on this.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2006
  9. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    BINGO. That sounds exactly like me as well. I'm a nice person until you piss me off. Once you get me pissed though, look out. I could make a sailor blush. :noes:
     
  10. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Yep yep.... as far as I've always been concerned, if someone gets mad (at me or at something) they can get glad again. If anything, people that do go out of their way to try and please EVERYONE all the time are the folks who can piss me off the worst. It just isn't a realistic endeavor.
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I'm just not a particularly nice person in general. Any people who like me, def. don't like me for my sensitivity towards sensitive people. In fact, they probably only like me because I like them.

    To the thread starter, proving your knowledge all the time to people is an annoying habit. If your sister is right, that's probably the majority of the problem right there.
     
  12. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Ahh... are you someone who always paraphrases what people are saying, and say it back to them in different terms or with more complex "technical" knowledge?

    That's almost what it sounds like. If so, you might want to work on NOT repeating what people say to you, and instead focus on expanding on what they say. If you always echo others and try to one-up their explanations or whatever, that's a surefire way to piss them off. If they already know it, don't explain it to them.

    Again, I don't know if this is the case or not, but if it is, this is just another thought.
     
  13. michaele36

    michaele36 New Member

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    well you might be a dick but mabey not:)

    see in school people hated me and i'm really not a bad person. ask your instructors lots of questions. most of the time when i ask people questions at work they feal important.
     
  14. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :werd: I always am thinking about people needing to "grow a spine," or "I'm not coddling you like some pathetic child, buck up and deal."

    I think my problem comes from growing up around way too many sensitive people and being relied upon as the "rock solid go-to guy." I lost a large number of relatives (deaths from cancer/heart attacks/strokes) when I was younger (from 8 until 16 or so) and I always felt like I had to be the one who didn't feel any emotion about it, so it became a learned trait. Now, I've just lost my tolerance for dealing with emotional people.
     

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