SRS Argumentative family?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by chucklenut, Apr 15, 2008.

  1. chucklenut

    chucklenut New Member

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    So today I woke up in bed. Told myself I should just stay there until my mom leaves from her lunch break. I didn't. I went downstairs, and someone had taken/moved/thrown away my ciggarettes.

    Again.

    So I asked her. And asked her. After she told me "someone might have thrown them away again" I got upset, and out of respect for my mom I went into the garage and said "Fuck this, not again, damnit, fuck this".

    She thought I was saying "Fuck you" to her. I told her repeatedly, I had not, ect. She didn't believe it. So we started yelling at the top of our lungs, again.

    My whole family has been doing this to each other for over 3 weeks now. I dont know of any issues or problems that might have happened while I might have been gone, but it seems none of us can keep it civil if ANYTHING of an issue arises.

    Are some families just made like that? To fight with each other constantly? Or did I just luck out?
     
  2. stormywaters

    stormywaters Tornadoes are just wind...

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    My family is like that and has been my whole life. My mom and I just can't get along. Since I'm only 20 and in college I'm sol and have to keep my mouth shut when I am home.
    Try to get out of the house as much as you can when you are upset. I vent to my boyfriend when I see him if I'm having a hard time and just talking it out makes me feel better.
    I can't wait to move out.

    How old are you?
     
  3. chucklenut

    chucklenut New Member

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    I'm only 17, but not for long. It is very hard at times finding ways to cope with all the bullshit.
     
  4. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Your mom threw away your cigarettes because you're underage and because she's concerned about your health. She didn't confront you about it, or come out and admit it, because you're an overly-aggressive ass. Consider that you're the one who got angry and started cursing first. Maybe she behaves in a way that instigates angry responses, but you're still to blame for actually doing it.

    It's a bitch when you live at home and you try to get away with stuff that's illegal or otherwise not allowed in your home, there's no getting around that. However, chances are you wouldn't get in so many shouting matches if, well, you didn't get into so many shouting matches. You don't have to yell at your mother in order to do what you want to do -- I'm guessing you don't have yell at her before you can light up each cigarette you smoke, so if you look at it rationally, then you already know you can do what you want in peace. You just need to break the habit of getting pissed when someone else thinks you shouldn't do it.
     
  5. ......

    ...... New Member

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    i'm 18 and i think if she took your cigarettes then she's trying to be a good parent! she doesn't want want you to die! lung cancer patients aren't.....faking it!:eek3:
     
  6. chucklenut

    chucklenut New Member

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    You're completely wrong. 100%. Everyone BUT my mom and dad smoke in this house. Me and 2 other siblings. They care, but already told us atleast a year ago that they wouldn't stop us from doing it. She has never thrown away my smokes, usually my sisters do thinking it's empy or whatever. I was not and am not an "agressive ass" twoard anyone in my family. I love them.

    Why do you assume its "all about cigarettes" and my age, why do you assume its all ME. My whole FAMILY does this to EACH OTHER, so i came HERE for advice on how to get us from getting at each other's throats.

    -cigarettes arent the issue
    -my whole family, not just me is argueing constantly

    Now, will you give me some advice?

    p.s. read the OP again. I didn't yell or curse AT my mom, I went into the garage and was fucking and shitting to myself. Its just how I vent. It helps.
     
  7. ......

    ...... New Member

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    sorry but i think it's still partially about cigarettes. you say she said she wouldn't stop you from smoking? maybe something knocked some sense into her. sorry to sound so preachy but you can't dispute that smoking is unhealthy, regardless of age.

    i do hear what you're saying though. i'm not really qualified to give advice but i'll try: if you really think that the cursing thing helps then do it farther away so she can't hear you, go punch a punching bag, flat out tell them you want them to stop arguing all the time (hopefully without starting an arguement) if they aren't willing to make efforts to change then all i can think you can do is leave the room or maybe even in the house immediatley if you sense an arguement coming (maybe sending them a message in the process), during this time go hit baseballs or something to blow off steam; maybe you could pick up a fun hobby in the process, then listen to peaceful music to cool off.
     
  8. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    Your lucky.

    My parents are divorced and I have seen some nasty nasty shit at a young age.

    Your 17, alot of 17 year olds and their parents don't see eye to eye. As you get older things will change. Has for me.
     
  9. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    Their parents most likely raised them to be that way, what do you know about the grandparents?
     
  10. chucklenut

    chucklenut New Member

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    isn't big enough for the both of us
    dude, trust me, it isn't
     
  11. chucklenut

    chucklenut New Member

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    all 4 are dead so, not much
     
  12. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    This is why:

    [​IMG]

    It's intended to be sarcastic, of course, but a good friend of mine once told me that sarcasm is the truth followed by a chuckle.

    I told you how to avoid arguments. Stop engaging in them. Ultimately, that's what you have to do, and once you get a job in the real world, you'll learn that you can even get along with someone you despise simply by not getting in their face when they do that thing that drives you nuts. And that's a good thing, because chances are they do that thing because they think it's a good idea, and they won't stop for you or anyone else.
     
  13. chucklenut

    chucklenut New Member

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    I didn't even intend to engage the arguement with my mom. She just blew up. My family seems to do that often, especially my dad and 2 sisters.

    How could I avoid the situation without my mom saying "Don't walk away from me" blah blah or my dad "calling me out" on my manhood?
     
  14. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    Calling him an ass is really a great way to get him to take anything you say into consideration.
     
  15. jkiley07

    jkiley07 New Member

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    Maybe don't say fuck around your mother so she won't mistaken it as "fuck you"
     
  16. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

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    I think it is to
     
  17. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    Or she's a passive aggressive bitch. You assume too much. But yeah fuck cigarettes did you not pay attention in health class or something?

    Keep walking... and tell your dad it's not size that matters, it's how you use it
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2008
  18. chucklenut

    chucklenut New Member

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    well i am just going to try walkin away and even if they take it as a bitch move and it makes them mad, i'll keep going
     
  19. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    You are fitting the definition of being an aggressive ass.

    A teenager that can kick your ass pacing in the garage saying 'fuck' and 'shit' over and over again is a pretty intimidating thing.

    You need to get some control over yourself.
     
  20. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    You didn't give any other examples of how your family always argue but in my opinion, it looks like there's a lack of respect on your part. YOur parents have a right to trash your cigarettes and you should not be crying about it. You live under their roof and you should follow their rules especially if you aren't an adult yet.

    You know how your parents feel about you smoking so keep the cigarettes to yourself. Keep it in your bedroom, out of their sight. If you can't do that, then move out and pay for your own bills.

    This is the problem with f'n kids nowadays. They don't respect their parents at all and think they can do/say whatever the hell they want. You can't even try to steer them in t he right direction w/out worrying about them going nuts on you.
     
  21. BTCollins

    BTCollins I met a gypsy and she hipped me to some life game

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    Personally, if my 17 year old son started cursing and ranting because his cigs were thrown out I would have confronted him also.
     
  22. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    Confront? :ugh: I would've grounded him. And I would not hesitate to throw out his cigarettes every single time I see them.

    I hate to say it but chances are his parents did something wrong w/his upbringing because apparently he don't have much respect for them. If that happened to me, I wouldn't have biotched and moaned about it.
     
  23. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    How did she blow up first? You're the one who started yelling and cursing. Are you telling me you couldn't handle your frustration internally?

    It sounds to me like you consider everything you do to be a perfectly reasonable response to someone else's offense. You can't solve disputes unless you're willing to consider, at least academically, that they might have done everything right and you might have done everything wrong -- if you don't consider that possibility, then you can't evaluate what you're actually doing wrong, because you'll always favor yourself in an argument.
     
  24. ......

    ...... New Member

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    what's wrong with you guys?(calling him an agressive ass and whatnot) didn't you read what he said? he tried to walk away. it's not his fault his mom misinterpreted his cursing.
     
  25. ......

    ...... New Member

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    if you're dad thinks that sticking around for a fight makes you more of a man then he's a fool. to me it sounds like your parents are the ones who need to grow up. don't let their comments manipulate you. just walk away anyway, tell them you'll come back when they're ready to talk in a civil manner.

    stop smoking though...
     

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