SRS Arg, I need a hug.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Handsom3, Aug 22, 2007.

  1. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    :wavey:

    Two nights ago my girlfriend and I had talks about why we are even together. We've realized that we don't have anything in common, this has been on going though, but we both know we are very much in love with each other though and want a future together. Basically, I am always able to tell her how I feel and she either responses with I love you or me too. I told her how I felt about that and then she actually responses to me and makes me happier then the first time we said I love you to each other.

    Then last night on the way home she is asking me to explain something to her, but she keeps telling me I'm wrong and thats not it. So I tell her she is making me mad and she lets go of my hand and we have a long quite ride home. Basically I felt like shit all night for being mad at her over something so stupid and I text her saying so and this is what I get back. "It's Ok baby I love you too. Don't be sad."

    I just need a hug. :wtc:
     
  2. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Can you clarify what it was she was talking about and why you got mad over it?
     
  3. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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  4. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    She wants to get something put on a ring. She asked how they did it and I was using a diamond as an example. She kept going it's not a diamond, it's not a diamond and I said to her you're making me mad.
     
  5. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    I'm really confused...
     
  6. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    That's kind of a silly thing to argue over.
     
  7. Speed_Demon1965

    Speed_Demon1965 New Member

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    How old are you?
     
  8. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    The point isn't really over the ring, its that whenever I get upset I get those responses. However, when she gets upset I have to really comfort her or she just gets more upset. I guess what it boils down to is I'm tired of giving and not getting.
     
  9. QueenOfHearts

    QueenOfHearts New Member

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    If you are as you said very much in love with her, than it is up to you to decide how much you're willing to put up with. If that answer and the putting requirements of this relationship don't match up, than you might consider finding someone who provides more affection.
     
  10. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    So you're upset that when you're mad she gies you the cold silence, yet she she's made you comfort her. Well... don't comfort her. It sounds to me like she wears the pants and knows it. This is probably because everytime she tests you with getting mad and being silent, she knows before too much time passes you'll give in and come work it out and comfort her. You're showing her that her value to you is more than yours is to her. The more you display that she has greater value the more she's going to believe it and think she can do better. I suggest you start sticking to your guns and quit caving in when she pressures you.
     
  11. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Yeah thats pretty much what I'm thinking too, but she is forced to do what I want a good portion of the time too. It also took her forever to be able to tell me how she was feeling, like being mad or sad and what not. Her last boyfriend treated her like shit and they talked about such thing so she tells me she doesn't know how. Thoughts?
     
  12. Cicatrize

    Cicatrize $user_title

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    QUOTED. FOR. FUCKING. TRUTH.

    My god, I hate when they pull that shit. They're allowed to be as angry as they want to be and say whatever they want to say, but once you show one ounce of anger, you're totally in the wrong.
     
  13. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I don't put too much faith in girls talking about how their last boyfriend treated them like shit. I'm not saying it doesn't happen... just too many drama girls claim that to their new boyfriends, I see it all of the time. Isn't it a weird coincidence that these same girls who tend to make that claim also seem to be the girls that always have drama with the new boyfriend as well? I don't think it's a coincidence.

    I've got to the point to where when a girl makes that claim, it's a big Red Flag for me. Also, quit trying to play the "nice guy" role trying to get her to express her feelings. Trust me, she'll express them on her own, but by feeding into this "past guys treated me bad" crap your eating up bullshit and allowing her to manipulate you.

    You might disagree on this part of what I have to say, but I feel strongly about that. I have been working with guys and relationships for 5 years and honestly, I cannot remember a "good girl" ever going on about her last boyfriend treated her like shit. Everytime the guy told me she said that to him, there was ALWAYS drama. She's the source, I guarantee it.
     
  14. Ranna13Tattoo

    Ranna13Tattoo New Member

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    wow, im in the same situation, but backwards. when i get mad it's total angry silence, but when the guy im involved with gets mad, it's i need to come up with something to justify what i did. it's gay. but i noticed if i talk, i can find out what i did to get him so pissed. (like i accidently left a wet towel on his bed. oh dear...)
    i've been treated like shit from a dude. i have shared it with my guy, but that's because he asked. people can be assholes, but it's not something to wimper about to guys to make them feel bad. i think it's good to have a little toughness involved from someone you love, because for me, it helped me become a stronger person, and to NOT take shit from people.
    Lol, there's my life story.

    but yeah, just don't give into her emotional need if she needs emotional back up when someone pissed in her cornflakes.. that's just nuts. tell her to get over it. but nicely. like, just dont go and comfort her. dont bring it to an emotional level. just straight up talk it out. talking. no hugging. no kissing. just talking about why there are differences and why she's upset. see from her point of view, and just talk. if she needs you to comfort her all the time, than there might be some emotional issues with her for sure.
     
  15. Terra Matris

    Terra Matris Guest

    I believe that there are to many "head games" going on here for this to be a successful relationship. True love is respectful discuss/and listening, along with agreed upon "quiet times."

    There should also be mutual fullfilment in all aspects.

    If one person feels a "lacking" then it isn't a respectful and honest relationship; it becomes more of a "crutch" or "security blanket" that has just developed with time.
     
  16. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Thanks for the advice guys. I'm going to toughen it up and get my pants back damn it. Hopefully it isn't to late, I'd really hate to lose her becuase I really do love her to pieces.
     
  17. Terra Matris

    Terra Matris Guest

    Love has to be mutual in all aspects; and most of all it should not hurt.

    Make sure what you feel is love, and not just comfort-this comes from a fear of facing the unknown (or break up).
     
  18. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    It's not going to work. If you'd hate to lose her then you're likely going to do what you can to keep that from happening... which is the exact opposite of putting your foot down and making a stand. Because ultimately if you truly make a stand you may come to the point where you have to say, "Look, I'm not going to tolerate this anymore. If you want this to work, then it's going to stop" And you have to mean it, where if it does continue you back your words up and end it. You're going to find that very difficult if you're still in the "I can't bear to lose her" stage.
     

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