Are you the type that fall in love easily or no?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by tqpolo, Jul 17, 2008.

  1. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    I see some people go from one relationship to the next and I question are they in love every time? I'm 25 and only been in love once. I knew immediately when I met her that this will be something different. All the other girls I met or dated I'm pretty luke warm about. I only had one relationship because I don't think I should be somebody's bf if I only "like" them. I have a friend who is completely opposite from I am and able to fall head over heal for every girls he dated. Every time it gets stronger for him. I questioned does he even know what love is or is it just me that I don't fall for someone so easily?
     
  2. Justin Niggalake

    Justin Niggalake New Member

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    i've been known to fall easily. i wear my heart on my sleeve. its such a curse. :hs:
     
  3. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    Infatuation? Yes
    Love? No

    I think a lot of people mistake newness and infatuation for love.

    I have a friend who is the same. She falls REALLY hard for any guy she starts dating. Problem with that is when you break up with them, it makes it that much harder on you (as im.ant mentioned)
     
  4. Original

    Original OT Supporter

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    took the words out of my mouth :dunno:
     
  5. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    no. not at all. everytime i've "fallen" for someone, it was over time as i got to know more of them and found things out abou them that made them just more and more attractive and wonderful. I'm talking months kind of time, not days or hours...

    I'm very closed as far as letting people into my heart, I have to trust first.
     
  6. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    Curious...do you feel you have trust issues because of being burned in the past or is it just your regular personality?
     
  7. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    I'm a very "go with the flow" sort of person. I've ditched guys for uttering the 3 words & have found situations where I've said it & sealed fate of the fling for the better or for the worse. I tended to feel things out (lol) with casual sex.

    I wasn't well socialized when I was younger. I was born & grew up in a rural area & then was pretty much housebound when we moved to a SoCal suburb. My interpersonal skills & social anxiety are kinna wack. I used to spend a lot of time lusting before I'd calm down & figure out where things were headed & whether or not love was part of the equation. I just can't read much about my feelings for a person if there is good chemistry. It's easy if the attraction isn't there at all.
     
  8. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    No it's my regualr personality. I've actually never really had a hard break up or anything. I was good friends with my Second BF and we broke up amicably, it hurt but it really was for the best as we bother were just growing apart and were become 2 different people from who we were at teh begining of the relationship. Tigre being my first and Current (long story :mamoru:) I have known for a long long time way before we ever got together and i grew to trust him trhough our friendship..... AND he's a really good guy that is just very trustworthy naturally..

    But no, it's not from me being jaded, i'm just naturally a guarded person.
     
  9. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I fall in love with everything and everyone for a short, intense period of time. (then I stop feeling stuff all together)
     
  10. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    Fair enough. I was just curious as it seems to vary for many. Some protect to not be hurt, others protect because of past problems and others just naturally are that way. Also interesting to me for some reason.

    I think I am more the first (protect to ensure I don't get hurt)
     
  11. DrK_Mrk_iV

    DrK_Mrk_iV OT Supporter

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    Not really... In fact, the last girl I dated for two years I never really felt *that* in love with her. It takes a lot for me to get interested in a girl in general though.
     
  12. Imok

    Imok New Member

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    When I was younger, yes (probably as mentioned, infactuation, newness) the older I got the better quality I wanted and the less appealing a lot of guys became. Settled down for years now so I'm not there anymore.
     
  13. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    it seems a lot of people are jaded like that.. My brother, who you would think would guard himself similarly to me since we have teh same parentage and were raised teh same, is one that falls head over heels for the worst women LEFT and RIGHT... it's "i'm Madly inlove" with everysingle one.... and he's been hurt and still is the same.

    :dunno: it's a personality trait that some people possess and other's don't. And where some may become jaded, others posses the traits and the personality to continue to fall deeply over and over again.
     
  14. fishjie

    fishjie New Member

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    i used to cause i was young and needy and nice

    i try not to put pussy on a pedestal now and its worked out a lot better
     
  15. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    You aren't going to be in love with them right away :hsugh: It takes a few months of dating someone to actually be in love with them.
     
  16. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    :werd:
     
  17. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    I think also some people get into patterns with relationships. They seek out (consciously or not) specific people. For instance, there are some people that always get into relationships with abusive people. There are others that always need to find the 'troubled' one and 'change them'. It seems that no matter how many times you tell them, they continue down the same path, believing that 'this one will be different', despite others seeing the exact same patterns :dunno:

    My stems from some difficulties as a child and thus I remain guarded and don't let people in and if an individual starts to get close, I tend to push them away (usually without me fully knowing), to ensure that I don't get too close to them and feel invested in the relationship.

    So relating this back to the question at hand, I think I purposely do not let myself 'fall in love', however, I tend to be okay with infatuation and would suggest it is rather common for me. However, as most have mentioned, infatuation passes shortly. Some end up being closer, but I would say the only one that there is complete trust with is Lovely and I think she would argue (and probably be correct) that I am still somewhat guarded with her and don't share things. Not necessarily lack of trust, but more insecurities on my part I suspect.

    PE, love our psychological chats :mamoru:
     
  18. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    Yes, people definately fall into patterns of behavior, sometimes because they don't know how to charge or even see that pattern as detrimental or even a pattern at all.


    and to the bolded statement... address it eventually, because it may be fine now, but shit like that builds resentment......
     
  19. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I don't fall in love or get infatuated easily. My first gf was a friend first and that's how I like it to be now.
     
  20. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    I don't fall in love easily at all. I'm a guarded person and I like things that way. I have told an ex-bf that I loved him and was in love with him just to make him happy. I knew I didn't actually love him but I pretended I did for a while. Horrible, I know.
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I dont fall in love easily, but then again I hardly wear my heart on my sleeve and I have high standards for a "great" love. I'm sure by now you've seen my stance on how people who fall in love easily are more just obsessed with being in love and needy in a sense. Just my opinion :dunno:

    Shit, read my other thread right now on this exact subject.
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3866305
    Breaks it down pretty easily.
     
  22. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    It gets dealt with at times. We have good communication. She has found that if she picks at me long enough I will open up. I dunno, I just do not feel comfortable expressing insecurities with people. I guess maybe it is a view that I need to be strong or put on a specific front and not show vulnerability. Lovely states that I act completely different (loving, caring, etc) when we are alone and always wonders why I am not the same in front of people. Why is it that I create a negative view of me? :dunno:

    I think there is some resentment there on her part and that is difficult. The one excuse I would use in that regard is that I never keep anything important from her (that affects her) and I do not go to others for things or trust others more and in fact, although I do not open up completely with her, she is, by far, the one I open up to the most.

    I know it is destructive and bad reactions and is something I am working at. The problem is, about a year ago, I tried to change that and opened up and got burned badly by a very close friend a few months later. So, in times where I have given it a chance, it has backfired and thus made me hide once again. However, I am trying it again. Trying to open up a bit more, slowly and surely. Interesting though how I am open to talk about this on a forum...however, this is not the stuff that I keep to myself; as I said, it tends to be insecurities or areas where I feel I come up short...anyway...offtopic....so enough.
     
  23. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    Well you alreayd have the first steps; recognizing it and you have someone you can trust to open up to. You don't need to be open and vulnerable to everyone, but to her, your wife you should be.. that's what a marriage is for. ;)

    But you're already miles ahead of others with the same issues :hug:
     
  24. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    Thanks, I like to believe that I have a firm understanding of myself and do a lot of self-reflection...now I have to change that understanding into action...that seems to be where it tends to break down :mamoru:
     
  25. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    When I was 17 I fell "in love" with boys before they even asked me out and that got me in a world of trouble.

    Now I'm trying to learn to keep my heart a bit more guarded. But for the most part I "fall" for people quickly because I'm naive and live in a fantasy world, but I wouldn't necessarily call it love.
     

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