Are you a "reacher" or a "settler" v.HIMYM

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Jan 19, 2010.

?

Which are you?

  1. I'm the reacher

    40 vote(s)
    33.9%
  2. I'm the settler

    34 vote(s)
    28.8%
  3. I'm not in a relationship at the moment

    44 vote(s)
    37.3%
  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Cliffs:

    - In every relationship, one person is a "reacher" (a person who dates out of their league) and the other person is a "settler" (a person who settles).

    - The "settler" doesn't gets jealous (For those of you who don't watch the show, Lily and Marshall are married. The example was that a hot lawyer chick was hitting on Marshall at work, but Lily didn't get jealous because Lily is the settler, which makes Marshal the reacher. Later on, the hot lawyer kissed Marshall, and Marshall felt bad and told Lily, and she didn't even believe him; she thought he was just trying to make her jealous... because he's the reacher).

    - Watch HIMYM because it's funnier than whatever else you might be watching on Monday nights.
     
  2. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    i used to watch that show
     
  3. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i dont consider myself either. closest would be reacher. i may "settle" to fuck around w. a girl i find less then hot but would never date someone i needed to settle for.

    on the other hand i dont think i reach either. ive never dated a girl i consider out of my league bc i dont think most girls are.
     
  4. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you watch a loooooot of TV bro.

    kinda weird way to frame it. Ive never really thought of myself as a settler, because ive always dated the most fun, interesting, awesome people I can find, who are also pretty. Am i settler because Ive never found all of the above while till being, an on "absolute scale", as physically attractive as I am capable of getting?

    Are we talking total package here or looks? Hard to quantify the different intangibles. If a pretty girl without much money dates an ugly guy with money, who is the reacher and who is the settler?
     
  5. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    :bowdown: I watched this last night. Full of lulz!

    Also sparked a lot of talk between the SO and I. We both agreed I settled, but we're both alright with that. It's kind of been hinted by people since we first got together that this was the case :mamoru:
     
  6. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    It's definitely a combination, not just on the physical scale. For some it might be someone with more education. For others it might be money. It all depends Bro
     
  7. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    brings up something I was thinking about the other night...

    Nobody is perfect (including me, I'm only Elite) so when looking for a LTR what sort of things do you let slide?


    for ejample: A woman hates putting the seat down before she uses the bathroom but her So has the shortterm memory of a retarded goldfish and other than that is a good match so she lets it slide.
     
  8. kopetzki

    kopetzki Banned

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    settler for sure.
     
  9. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    What is HIMYM?
     
  10. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    good question...... i think i can let things slide if the up side of my SO is great.

    lets take my GF.

    she is very sweet. caring. funny. we can have fun going out or staying home. she is not selfish. she is a great lover. im very attracted to her.

    she is no where near as neat as i would like her to be.

    if she was lacking on some of her pros the con would probably drive me insane. but bc she is who she is it doesnt bother me nearly as much as it has w. past gfs.
     
  11. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    If I were going to force reality into the confines of a simplistic system of labels, then I would say I start off as a reacher and end up as a settler.
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Not rly :dunno:

    HIMYM, Big Bang Theory, Pawn Stars (each of those is 30 minutes), Mythbusters, Tough Love, and sometimes Jersey Shore. That's like less than 1 TV show a day.
     
  13. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

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    I'd say I'm the settler.

    We're very even in looks, he might even be better ;).

    But everything else I'm above.
     
  14. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    It's a flawed architecture really. It goes back to the archaic "league" argument, which we all know to be faulty. The question is essentially, who is more valued in the relationship, which is obviously a loaded issue for any number of reasons.
     
  15. Gogoplata

    Gogoplata Guest

    "reaching" and "settling" is typically related almost solely on physical appearance.

    relationships based almost solely on physical appearance are bound to fail.


    This thought process shouldnt exist for truly happy couples.
     
  16. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Dunno if this helps (it might be total bullshit :rofl: and yes, flame suit on) but a few things I've learned from my LTR:

    If it's not going to matter in 3 hours, 3 days or 3 weeks then it doesn't matter now.

    If it's not an assault to my sensibilities then it's probably not worth getting my panties in a wad. Doesn't mean that I have to keep my mouth shut but it does mean that I need to calm the fuck down before I say something to him about it. No need to ride in with guns blazing :rofl:

    I can only control my behavior and change my perspective- that's it. I have no control over his behavior. I can't change him (and I wouldn't want to because then he wouldn't be the same man I fell in love with.)

    If his behavior is really making me crazy then I'd need to stop and actually figure out why. Like in your example, say Nate always forgot to put the seat down. If after talking to him about it and trying to let it go when he forgot I was still really bugged by it, then I'd need to figure out why I kept getting so worked up over it. At that point, is it really because he's forgetting to put the seat down? Absolutely not. I'd probably be aggravated because I'd be feeling ignored or disregarded. (<-- again, just an example. I don't get annoyed by that kind of stuff. See #1. but hopefully you get my drift.) At which point it'd need to bring up to him that I was feeling ignored/disregarded, not get in a bickering match over the seat.

    It's taken me damn near 7 years to figure some of that shit out :rofl: If it works for you then take it. Don't try to learn it on your own if you don't have to.
     
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Wow, I can confidently say I am in no way either of those options.

    I will never settle and I never reach out of my league.
     
  18. giz

    giz Active Member

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    settler
     
  19. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    So your SO is exactly the same as you?
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Honestly yeah :rofl: I've always dated guys who were almost exactly like me. He's always dated totally average girls because they were what he was attracted to :dunno:
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :kiss:

    I realize that makes me sound super self-deprecating, but I've happy being "average" :hs: I think I'm hotter than his ex's, so there's that :mamoru:
     
  22. 1.8t

    1.8t Member

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    I date on my level. Others agree.
     
  23. infinite.purple

    infinite.purple New Member

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    i heart HIMYM. i've been the reacher and the settler, but it's not something i really think about unless the disparity is so great that others start to point it out. imho on HIMYM, marshall is totally the settler because he is awesome and i would marry him in a heartbeat. :o
     
  24. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    I don't think every relationship has one person settling and one person reaching, even on a purely physical level.
     
  25. Thelonius

    Thelonius New Member

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    Every single one of my gfs has definitely been more attractive than me.
     

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