Are Freeze Outs a bad idea in LTRs?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Jun 8, 2009.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I read a post on theattractionforums where they said that in LTRs, a freeze out is counter productive.

    I want Vag's opinion. Go.
     
  2. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    hold on do you want a link?
     
  4. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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  5. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Freeze Outs meaning breaks?
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Basically it means withdrawing your attention (ignoring) when the person isn't doing what/acting how you want.

    The classical application is when you're in bed making out and the chick "doesn't know" if she wants to fuck you or not. If you freeze her out (like rollover and read a book or something) she'll think "omg, he withdrew his attention, this sucks!" and she will probably re-initiate and be willing to fuck you to keep your attention (cuz girls like validation).

    I think that's how it works. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.
     
  7. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    depends on the girl / the guy / and the dynamic of their relationship IMO

    freezeouts cant ALWAYS be bad since there is pretty much exceptions to every rule
     
  8. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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  9. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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  10. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i can see its place in the beginning of a relationship for certain situations, but once you are in a committed relationship, it seems like you should be talking to your SO about whats going on instead of being a child and ignoring the problem hoping it fixes itself
     
  11. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    for the record, i'm not referring to freeze outs as used to get sex in LTRs. I just meant for other situations.
     
  12. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    it depends on the parties involved and what the problem is IMO but if both parties are mature and of sound logical and emotional reasoning then most of the time it can be discussed...
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Maybe in a gay relationship where it's two dudes :rofl:
     
  14. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    well alot of the lady posters here seem to think they are of both sound logical and emotional reasoning :p
     
  15. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    My house was the house of freeze outs growing up. They were probably a little more excessive then what you are talking about, but my mother would go months without saying shit to my father for something he did or didn't do months earlier. And my sisters picked up the same stupid habit.

    If it's something like rolling over like described above, then whatever. But if it is anything more then a simple thing like that I'd pack my shit up and leave.

    You want to act like a kid, then I'll let you be free to find someone willing to treat you like one.
     
  16. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Read the thread you posted. Freeze outs are not good in an LTR.
     
  17. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Absolutely not. That falls under the "dirty fighting" category for us.
     
  18. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I know that's their opinion. I was asking for Vag's opinion.
     
  19. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    What about the "I need time to gather my thoughts" excuse for the freeze out?
     
  20. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    In my opinion freeze outs are bad ideas all around... even when using them trying to have sex with a new woman. There are better methods than freeze outs.
     
  21. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    list some.

    edit - plz :big grin:
     
  22. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    That is sooooo different than what you're describing. A 'freeze out' according to how you defined it, is withdrawing attention to specifically gain something.

    "Cooling off" is a legit thing at times when someone needs to collect their thoughts, or cool off enough to have a rational & calm conversation as opposed to a blowout. They are very distinct in terms of their end goals, and thus very different.

    And, to the original topic, my answer is "no." I had an ex that did that, we dated for 3 1/2 years, and now there is practically nothing I hate more. It was sooooooooo counterproductive/detrimental to our relationship. Maybe in the short-term, or when we had only been dating within the first year, it worked... more because it was a mindfuck for me. He took it to the extreme though, I'm imaging much like xapium was describing. Example: I bumped his car door shut with my hip because my hands were full, obviously gave it too much force on accident, slammed REALLY hard, he thought I "did it on purpose" or some stupid shit like that, and wouldn't talk to me for two days :rofl::ugh2:


    But, in the long-run it led me to not even giving a shit anymore. It would just be like, "Oh, here we go again you little fucking child :rolleyes:" and was not only a turn-off, but ultimately one of the main reasons we broke up. It went from the first few times he did it me being like "omg noooo :run:" and feeling all crazy, to literally... it didn't even affect me at all. Well, it affected me in making me think he was a emotionally stunted freaking child :dunno:

    In retrospect, I can't even believe I put up with that shit :uh: But hey, I was young and stupid lol. Glad I got that relationship out of the way, I learned a LOT. Much of which what I WON'T put up with in relationships, which in my opinion is equally if not more important than what you need/want in one.
     
  23. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    Then it wouldn't really be a freeze out. :dunno:

    When it comes down to that we just tell each other that we need a little space and address whatever it was later.
     
  24. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    Seriously, if someone did that to me now, I would recognize it instantly, and absolutely NOT put up with it. If it was someone I was newly dating, I'd very likely be 100% done with them right then and there.

    I'm not a dog that needs to be trained or manipulated with conditioning, nor will I be treated like a child.
     
  25. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    interesting responses.
     

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