SRS Approval addiction, self esteem and ADD.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by knarxed, Nov 23, 2005.

  1. knarxed

    knarxed New Member

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    I can't shake it. Approval addiction. Out in public, it plauges my body. I try to write down and tell myself that I don't need their approval, I don't need women's approval, I can go on without it, but im lying to myself.

    I can't help but feel low when I go to the arcade to play Street Fighter and I see people with friends talking to eachother while im there standing around like a loser.

    Or how a beautiful girl is in my presence, and she show's no sings of interest in me. Knowing that it will be impossible for us to get together, it instantly brings a surge to my mood immediately when I see a cute face. Is this low self esteem? Or juts approval addiction?

    Or maybe it's because I can't concentrate worth a damn? I don't know if it's from the cymbalta/wellbutrin combo that I've been on, but all my life, I can't concentrate worth shit. Every acknowledge to me brings a "huh?" to my voice, only knowing what they said if I waited 1/2 a second later. Reading takes 3 times longer than usual while comprehending very little of it, and lots of other things. It isn't severe, but I defenantly believe I have a form of it.

    My confidence level in general is low and I need a bit of direction on how to fix things. Especially about the ADD.
     
  2. Astaroth

    Astaroth New Member

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    Hmm....

    If I were in your shoes, I'd go find myself a martial art and get into that. Not just a sport type, mind you, a genuine martial art. Why?

    a) You like street fighter, so go learn to fight for real, after a while you won't feel like such a loser, you'll probably feel more confident and more at peace with yourself.

    b) A genuine martial art (that includes meditation etc and internal exercises, not just the artful belting of others) will help you develop focus and the ability to concentrate. It might not work a miracle, but it's a self-achieved step you can make with just a little help.

    Also, I think perhaps it's not so much approval addiction that's causing you problems, but the apparent lack of approval. You seem to want approval, but from what you've described here you aren't getting much of it. I think with time and patience you will find that approval is not so necessary after all - and the martial arts stuff if you decide to take it up will help. Learn to become comfortable with yourself, and you won't need anyone else's approval - and if you end up getting it, well, bonus.

    I hope some of this helps.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Just don't use that fighting knowledge for real, try to accomplish small things , like cooking a meal, making a statue, girls love artist by the way, (although earnings in it can suck) also , what is most important is that you need to start loving yourself, if you really love yourself, then you don't need other people's affirmation of it, because its not a matter if wether other people like you, its a matter if you like yourself. If you don't like yourself change who you are, if you do like yourself stop worrying, let those people look at themselves. You might need some selfesteem, but its something you have to build up by accomplishing things.
     
  4. Astaroth

    Astaroth New Member

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    Hmm, just to clarify, when I said about going to learn to fight for real, I didn't mean you should be going and beating people up. But, if you like playing street fighter, learning a martial art is a healthy way of playing the same thing, only you build yourself up and learn to become more comfortable with yourself as you do it.
     
  5. knarxed

    knarxed New Member

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    Martial arts seem's alright, but it's not my thing. The thing with fighting games is that I grew up on them and it's something that I have great interest in.
     
  6. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Maybe it's a control issue. You are getting worked up over things you seriously cannot help. That is just setting yourself up for depression. If you cannot control something, then why stress over it? It's like death. We all die someday, we can't help that, but we can help the way we live. We can either stress about dying someday or live.
     
  7. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Stop playing video games, join a club or group of some sort and make some friends. A martial art isn't a bad suggestion, try taking a dance class, or going to a poetry reading as Dave Steel may suggest.

    Anything that gets you socializing, and out of your own head, not constantly beating yourself down in your own mind, is good. Working out to gain confidence and spark new interest wouldn't be a bad suggestion either.
     
  8. knarxed

    knarxed New Member

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    I would like to work out and dance; I haven't started either one. Too shy to go to the gym and make excuses not to dance.

    I can't give up Street Fighter (People grow up drawing to have a great passion for art in the future. I've been playing it since 6 years old.). Socializing is possible with it, but im just too shy to do shit.

    "Maybe it's a control issue. You are getting worked up over things you seriously cannot help. That is just setting yourself up for depression. If you cannot control something, then why stress over it?"

    What do you mean exactly? About how people view me for example? And how can I fix it?
     
  9. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Sometimes I feel like this -

    "I can't help but feel low when I go to the arcade to play Street Fighter and I see people with friends talking to eachother while im there standing around like a loser.

    Or how a beautiful girl is in my presence, and she show's no sings of interest in me. Knowing that it will be impossible for us to get together, it instantly brings a surge to my mood immediately when I see a cute face. Is this low self esteem? Or juts approval addiction?"

    I think its Self Esteem...but some people have given some good advice here. Joining a martial arts is good advice. I've thought about this numerous times as well but with financial constraints now I can not.
     

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