Approaching women with men near them at a pub / period

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Cobra Commander, Jul 22, 2009.

  1. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2008
    Messages:
    20,930
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    So I was at a pub tonight just out with my mate having a drink or two to just relax and came across this really attractive girl. I told my friend this and he said just go talk to her and see whatsup..even though she was talking to two other guys.

    Here lies my problem..

    Whenever I see a woman with a man I ALWAYS assume that they are seeing each other and can't seem to get that off my mind. I feel awkward when a man approaches a girl that I am with yet have no idea what it feels like to be the one to initiate.

    How do I overcome this? I don't EVER want to step on other people's toes but I mean seriously..how many girls go out with just friends that happen to be guys?

    Any advice is good advice at this point..really.
     
  2. JoJoBee

    JoJoBee Hanging out with my chicks! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2006
    Messages:
    38,220
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Seattleish
    :dunno: send a drink and wave or watev??? i don't know what to do... when i was in my bar fly stage and i found a guy attractive and saw what they were drinking when they were with a group, i would send a drink and then approach them about 30 min later to make sure they got it if they didn't approach me before that. i would have to say it worked. :mamoru:
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    I think there's a difference between a girl actually engaging in conversation with men at a bar and a girl who just happens to be standing near men at a bar.

    Personally, if I'm sitting there talking to my SO and a guy walks up I go :ugh: "WTF is he thinking?" But since I have a lot of guy friends I'll go out with them to bars all the time and just be around them, in which case I'd be fair game.
     
  4. JoJoBee

    JoJoBee Hanging out with my chicks! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2006
    Messages:
    38,220
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Seattleish
    I know that Nikki... But I am just stating that if he is around girls or a group with girls and such... Same scenario but role reversed...
     
  5. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2008
    Messages:
    3,680
    Likes Received:
    0
    :rofl: I was dancing with my boy and a guy came and try to grab me to dance with him, idiot.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    :eek3: I wasn't making a comment based on your post, in fact, I think your idea is a great idea.

    Edit-though I know a bunch of guys will come in and bitch about how they don't have to buy a girl a drink to get her attention :mb:
     
  7. JoJoBee

    JoJoBee Hanging out with my chicks! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2006
    Messages:
    38,220
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Seattleish
    :mamoru::love:
     
  8. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2008
    Messages:
    20,930
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    I have this habit of NOT buying women drinks unless I know them..call it a bad habit but i've saved alot of money and i don't want to seem like the guy that wants pay to get laid

    She was clearly checking me out every now and again..making obvious eye contact with me..i waited for a while then asked some dude who was standing there that i've met before, "Is that guy with her her mate?" to which he said yeah

    although she didn't seem all to interested in him..just kind of a whatever flirt with him..
     
  9. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2008
    Messages:
    20,930
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    how would he know if you are dancing with a friend..or your man?

    I went out on monday night with 3 girls and danced with all of them to whom of which all danced on me like i was with them
     
  10. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2008
    Messages:
    3,680
    Likes Received:
    0
    I was with him since I entered the club and we were dancing very closely. even if him approaching was not idiotic, him grabbing my arms to pull me to himself was!
     
  11. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Noooooo!

    That's awesome to see a chick do it tho.



    @TS - You go talk to them and then say "so, how do you guys know each other?"

    The chick will make it VERY OBVIOUS if she's with them or not.
     
  12. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2008
    Messages:
    20,930
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    Although he probably didn't see you enter the club and only saw you on the floor..he really shouldn't have pulled you like that..

    that's just fucking rude
     
  13. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2008
    Messages:
    20,930
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    you know to be honest i never thought of asking that :o

    thanks falc
     
  14. Tiberium

    Tiberium Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2005
    Messages:
    23,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Where da white women be
    so a guy takes a chance (at a bar of all places) and you have the nerve to go "WTF is he thinking?":ugh2::ugh2::ugh2:

    He didn't approach you at disney land while the two of you were taking a picture with goofy...you're at A BAR!!



    :hsugh: I fail to see the problem here
     
  15. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,959
    Likes Received:
    0
    That guy :bowdown:

    You are a bitch though.:hsugh:
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    See, if she's shooting you glances then I think you are totally fine to approach, no matter if there are guys there. If a girl is really happy with her relationship she's not looking around any other guys.
    :hsugh:

    If I'm standing/sitting there talking with my SO the entire night and he steps up beside us to hit on me-yeah, he's a fucking moron. And yes, that has happened to me.
     
  17. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,638
    Likes Received:
    487
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    I think this is a case where you approach and talk to the GUY first and sort of scope out the situation.

    I think it would be way less intimidating to shoot the shit with the guy and kinda feel out the vibe between them, than it would be to approach the girl first and wonder if you're going to piss of the guy she's with.

    This is one of thise things that i think PUA gets right. Make her friends/companions feel comfortable with you first and then ease into talking to her, then get her alone in some other area of the bar.
     
  18. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,959
    Likes Received:
    0
    You don't have a sign over your head which means "you are taken". Unless you two start kissing each other, I'd think you are approachable.

    Shit, I've seen a couple being together for the whole night and they were just friends.
     
  19. SleepyDay

    SleepyDay New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2008
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Buying girls drinks; nah. That isn't a bad habit, you're just wasting your money on someone you hardly know.

    But, I would have honestly felt the same way.
     
  20. oakback

    oakback New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2008
    Messages:
    1,142
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    N.FL
    I've had the same thing happen while with my wife. The engagement/wedding ring combo should have been a dead give away. I'll go to the bathroom, come back to find some guy standing a bit to close talking to her. I've even had it happen where I'll approach, put my arm around her, give her a kiss, and the guy still hangs around till you have to get rude with him. It's so weird.
     
  21. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2008
    Messages:
    20,930
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    See if i see a ring then I would most definitely NOT say anything to her unless I came with her.

    I think I just need to man up and use what falc said..it seems completely legit and if the girl is interested would say.."oh this is my friend/family and were just chillin.."

    I am really glad that I posted this..i think it's my only thread in here cause i can find most questions that i have get answered

    :o
     
  22. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2009
    Messages:
    6,540
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa
    When this happens, and I know that my girl thinks I'm in the bathroom/getting drinks etc, I kinda like to get a good angle and see how she reacts and what kinda body chemistry is going on.

    Beware the lurking BFs.
     
  23. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL
    here is what ive done before.

    make eye contact.
    smile.
    if i see interest i make a head motion or look at the guy(s) she's talking to.
    she can easily understand im wondering if she's w. him.
    i wait for her head shake or nod.
    then sweep in w. no regards to whether said guy was trying or not trying to get w. her.
     
  24. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL
    its hard for me to write out what i mean by the body language i do/look for but hopefully you understand what im saying.
     
  25. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2008
    Messages:
    20,930
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    What if she makes eye contact with you a bunch of times but doesn't hold it for very long?

    I am told that i am intimidating :dunno:

    i don't stare them down or anything :rofl:
     

Share This Page