Approach openers for the beach and club?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by SHIFT_blue, May 21, 2008.

  1. SHIFT_blue

    SHIFT_blue OT Supporter

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    Ok, I need to get out and start approaching other girls to help get over this heavy oneitis I have for a girl that is friendzowning me.

    Im very inexperienced at interaction with women and want to work on it. So I want to start with some cold approaches. I think some openers would help since I dont really know what to say. I mention the beach and the club since thats mostly what I do on the weekends.
     
  2. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    Women, for the most part, arent magic dragons that need taming. Locate, approach, greet, and speak.

    Forget most clubs, though. Beaches, pools, etc... are good.
     
  3. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    at the beach, spike them in the face with a volleyball. Offer to take them to your hotel room to put ice on it.
     
  4. sapient

    sapient New Member

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    Easy & Cheesy for the bar: ask her / them an opinion question, seemingly out of the blue (don't walk across the bar to ask her a bullshit question, that looks planned / sketchy), that either leads to funny replies or emotional response.

    My friend uses these (although I think both are cheesy, they both have worked well for him):
    -"let me ask you a quick question: how do you feel about guys with mustaches?" (funny) and
    - "oh hey, I just need a quick female opinion on this: my friend's ex girlfriend keeps trying to hit on me, but I don't want to piss my friend off by starting something with her, what should I do?" (emotional response)

    Keep in mind, that neither of these will impress a girl. All they are for is to get you talking to the girl in a way such that she's very unlikely to just give you a one-word reply, turn back to her drink / friends and ignore you. Any actual attraction and flirting must be done after the opener.
     
  5. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    Try,

    "Hey, Im (insertnamehere). Couldn't help but notice your smile."


    Go from there.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :barf:

    Sorry, I've heard that my entire life and it drives me nuts.
     
  7. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    don't say anything like this :rofl:

    just go up and say hi, maybe ask her what book she's reading or a quick quip about the weather. if she's interested, you'll be able to tell immediately and the conversation should flow naturally.
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd: It's the beach, not a bar/club.
     
  9. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Back double-bi. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    you can also generate interest over a period of time where there is none initially.
     
  11. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    you going to have to learn from failure big guy. There is no cheating your way through this.
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Step 1. Indicators of Interest (IOIs)

    Eye contact is a big IOI. There are many others of course. Learn to recognize them.


    Step 2. 3 Second Rule

    This is the big one. It will even work on its own much of the time, but works better in conjunction with Step 1.

    Within 3 seconds of receiving the IOI (in other words - immediately), PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER and head towards her.

    DO NOT TALK YOURSELF OUT OF IT!! ONCE SHE NOTICES YOUR HESITATION, ITS OVER FOR HER! HER "KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR" WILL NEVER HESITATE!


    Step 3. Approach

    This is the part where you get to her and are now forced to speak.

    Notice how the previous 2 steps did not address what to say. This is intentional, as the previous 2 steps are way more important that what to say.

    If you get an IOI, then hesitate for 10 minutes to think of the "perfect" line, THEN approach and open, likely you will be LESS SUCCESSFUL than if you had used the 3 second rule and went in with no line.

    You will either think of something to say en route, or if not you can always fall back on "Hi, my name is Yail."
     
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    :werd: there are no shortcuts

    However, it is important to understand what "failure" is.

    As it is impossible for every single girl you approach to like you, her being a bitch to you or whatever IS NOT failure. Its her being nice enough to let you know she's not right for you, and that you shouldn't waste any more of your valuable time on her.

    Failure is when you don't approach at all, or failure is when you remain in a bad relationship because you don't feel you can approach and get dates with women.

    Failure IS NOT approaching and getting blown out. That is to be accepted as a normal, unavoidable part of the process and should not affect your self-esteem.
     
  14. philvia

    philvia SUCKIN ON MY TITTIES LIKE YOU WANTIN ME CALLIN ME

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    just talk go up to someone and start talking, there's no reason to make it more difficult than it has to. who uses formulas and steps to talk to someone? jeeeez
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    people who have experienced limited success

    some of us need to see it in step-by-step form

    notice that "go up to someone and start talking" is basically the content of my post

    however, if the guy was truly aware of how to do this, then he wouldn't here asking questions now would he?

    IME, the more intelligent a man is, the more he needs this stuff broken down and spoon-fed to him, and the less intelligent he is, the more he is able to intuitively execute simple ideas ("just go talk to her").

    When you tell someone with high intelligence to "go talk to her," his powerful, analytical brain immediately conjures up every conceivable scenario under which something can go wrong.

    Its "paralysis by analysis."

    But if you break it up into baby steps and explain the reason for every step and explain what her possible reactions mean, now he is prepared to go forward.

    Whereas someone with a simpler mind will think "Hey thats girls cute and I'd like to get to know her. I can only get to know her by putting one foot in front of the other and going over there and talking to her" so that's what I'll do.

    The "paralysis by analysis" step is bypassed so you don't need formulas and steps for the simple minded fellow.

    During my brief time of selling cars, I had a co-worker who was deemed "slow." We were talking about him and the manager chimed in "Yeah, maybe he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's a great salesman because he will do whatever I tell him (without analyzing what could possibly go wrong and introducing hesitation)."

    And when it comes down to it, when a man approaches women, he is selling himself, at least on some level.
     
  16. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Also, when the man has in his mind all the ways it can go wrong, his body language and voicetone will probably be such a turnoff to her that he is going to have very little chance of getting her number.
     
  17. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    You got any better ideas?
     
  18. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Interesting.
     
  19. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    sarcasm?

    There's a great article over at sosuave about this, I'll see if I can find it for you.

    edit:

    http://www.sosuave.com/romance/david/art61.htm

     
  20. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    No I was being genuine, never thought of it like that.
     
  21. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    compliments are generally a bad idea, as the last 9 guys to approach her probably used one

    she's used to hearing it, and she's BORED of it

    your job is to differentiate yourself from the last 9 guys who approached her

    #1 problem with that opener is that you are explaining yourself ("I just had to...")

    She knows why you have approached her. No reason to explain it to her.

    If you are going to compliment her in the opener, you will need to combine it with a neg, which I personally am not into, but they have been shown to work.

    Something like "I just noticed your smile and had to come over (Pause and look at her teeth)...Oh you've got something stuck in your teeth (then open your mouth with your teeth together and point)."

    I hate this personally but it can work because you started out the approach like the other 9 guys, then you took a detour.

    I wouldn't go that route myself. "Hi, my name is ____ " is much better imo.

    And after you approach and open, don't be afraid of the "awkward pause." The less you talk, the better. Most of the communication is non-verbal anyways.

    Don't be afraid to make a statement and then just SHUT THE FUCK UP and let her talk.
     
  22. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    yeah man its a big stumbling block, and one i had to overcome

    personally i've never thought of myself as overly intelligent, but people have been telling me that my whole life, so maybe there is something to it. I do know that my mind works very quickly.

    I'm naturally good at analyzing all possible factors, and when I do this, I come up with all the reasons why it won't work (like DD said).

    So when I read everything broken down step-by-step, it helped very much.
     
  23. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    This is why I thought it was so interesting.

    I consider myself fairly intelligent and I over-analyze everything. Not as bad as I used to, but I still over-analyze. I've been good at analyzing since I could remember.

    I'm in a LTR now, but back when I was single and having problems with women I would think of every possible thing that could go wrong with what I say, or how I act, or how she perceives me and then I would pretty much talk myself out of it. It was over before it started.

    I just found it interesting the correlation between intelligence and success with women.

    :cool:
     
  24. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I'm not sure it's intelligence that gets in the way, but I definitely think a certain kind of intelligence gets in the way. Fortunately, it also allows you to do better off in the long run if you push through :bigthumb:
     
  25. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I've got a close friend that I work with from time to time (and I can proudly say that his success with women has SKYROCKETED).

    Sometimes I tell him to turn his brain off and just do it. He does, and it works.

    The most success I've personally had has been from formulating a plan beforehand, then "turning my brain off" and following the plan.
     

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