Approach Anxiety

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by crown royal, Nov 29, 2009.

  1. crown royal

    crown royal Active Member

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    Any help on getting over this? I'm an otherwise confident person, I think of myself as both attractive and interesting and can hold conversation once I get into it, but walking up to someone at random just never seems like a great idea in my head. If I can pinpoint the two things in my head that keep me from randomly walking up to someone is that I can't think of anything to open with (the idea of canned lines doesn't agree with me) and don't want to feel fake. After that, I suppose a minor concern is how to segue into decent conversation.
     
  2. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    practice

    sorry pal no shortcuts
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :hsd:

    10x bonus for sobriety
     
  4. crown royal

    crown royal Active Member

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    :hs:

    does it just click eventually? the feeling of fakeness goes away?
     
  5. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    How fake are you being? my "opening line" is "hey, hows it going?"
     
  6. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

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    Well when guys try to approach me, it's usually "Hey how are you?", "You from around here?" which leads to "Oh? How long you been living there? I don't think I've seen you around before" and then... "Well my name is so and so. What's yours?" ect.
     
  7. teep

    teep New Member

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    I used to be the same way. It's just like anything else in that you have to practice. Try talking to all sorts of people- dudes, fatties, grandmas- not just girls you want to pick up. You'll get comfortable enough with it eventually and then it will just feel natural.
     
  8. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    2nded.

    Force yourself to start talking to the grandma at the grocery check out and everyone else, and it will get easier faster.
     
  9. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    That one goes ok with you? kinda implies some things, no?
     
  10. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

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    I was just using those as examples for when I get hit on. Hell I don't know. I turn down all guys who hit on me. :rofl: (I've been in two long term relationships for the past 7 or so years.)

    The only ones that really bug me are the ones that are like "You're hot. You got a bf?" :ugh:
     
  11. Aww_Kittah_Aww

    Aww_Kittah_Aww Active Member

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    I need to do this. I'm getting frustrated trying to approach people. Its like I want to approach I girl I see out but its like someone is holding me by the back of my shirt.
     
  12. JeremyD

    JeremyD New Member

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    The ego is a very fragile thing.
     
  13. kopetzki

    kopetzki Banned

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    i've been trying to talk to people alot more when I'm out and i think the practice is paying off. I'm less nervous when i walk up to people now and it takes less effort to start a conversation. I still need a good amount of alcohol to approach girls though :rofl: I hit on hipster chicks all the time and my best line so far has been "ZOMG you look like Zooey Deschanel" they go bonkers :rofl:
     
  14. crown royal

    crown royal Active Member

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    generally I'm not. I tend to only approach when I can think of a natural sentence (like if we're at a concert I'll ask what they thought of the preformance). In that situation it's pretty easy.
     
  15. crown royal

    crown royal Active Member

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    lol thanks for the advise
     
  16. crown royal

    crown royal Active Member

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    eh, mine isn't so much. I can deal with getting turned down, just can't figure out how to get things started. Right now I rely too heavily on someone coming up to me or someone in my group initiating. terrible.
     
  17. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Get over it pussy.
     
  18. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    You need to create and patent (and give me a cut of it for the idea) a talking drawstring doll that is small enough to fit into pockets of approach anxiety guys everywhere. They just have to pull the string whenever they start thinking longer than 4 seconds about approaching anyone to listen to your awesome way of putting advice into words they will never reason to otherwise.
     
  19. crown royal

    crown royal Active Member

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    Not to mention the conversation potential of holding a pocket drawstring doll in the middle of a bar
     
  20. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    Why do you think i still have my tomigachi?
     
  21. crown royal

    crown royal Active Member

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    :rofl:
     
  22. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    Practice and/or drugs.

    I got over mine by doing it in places where I knew I'd never see the girls again (not because it actually matered, but for my own stupid mind fuck) such as out of town clubs/parties and on the cruises I went on. I still get it, and a lot of times I have to tell myself to grow a pair still.

    I pitty people who cant be social with out alcohol, though, so make sure to practice sober too.
     
  23. crown royal

    crown royal Active Member

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    Alcohol doesn't help me it hinders. I prefer my mind sharp.

    I think that you give solid advice. I'm a traveller for work, and I always find it easier when I'm in another city for some reason. Probably just too comfortable at home.
     
  24. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

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    Well I turn them down because I've had a boyfriend... not because of how they are approaching me. :hsugh:
     
  25. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    This and stop letting your roomie turn on the charm to a group of girls.

    You're hot and you have a nice smile. Have you ever considered smiling at the ladies and using more body language to start off?
     

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