Apparently my friend has a crush on me, and is now cockblocking me

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, Jun 23, 2005.

  1. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater New Member

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    Cliff's at bottom. And before anyone asks, we're all graduated from college, in our early to mid 20's.

    I'm sure a lot of you have been in this situation before, so please help me out a little bit here.

    I met this girl probably about 6 months ago, and we've become pretty good friends since then. In my eyes, that's all we are. Friends. I'm just not interested in a romantic relationship with her at all.

    She hasn't ever come out and told me that she likes me, but it has become painfully obvious recently, to the point that even my friends notice it.

    I haven't felt like I can bring it up since I didn't "officially" know that she liked me, but after tonight I feel like I need to.

    I went out to dinner with her and a bunch of friends tonight, and it just so happens that this girl I am interested in (let's call her Stacy) came with my friend that likes me (we'll call her Sarah).

    Now, Sarah knows that I'm interested in Stacy, because I've told her. I was disappointed because the first 2 times I met Stacy, I never really had a good opportunity to ask for her number, so I definitely didn't want to miss the opportunity tonight.

    After we ate dinner, we went back to another friend's house, and I got the perfect opportunity. Stacy and I were in the living room by ourselves talking because everyone else was back in the back doing something else. Sarah came in there twice to try to get us to come back and hang out with everyone else. Come on, it's obvious that we wanted to hang out by ourselves, she had to know that. She had to know the reason I purposely stayed up there was to talk to Stacy. Especially since she knows that I'm interested in Stacy. Total cockblock attempt.

    Sarah finally left and we started talking again. I asked Stacy if she was single, she said yes, so I asked if she wanted to get together some time. She said she would, but it would be weird because of Sarah. Since I didn't "officially" know, I was like :confused: . We talked about it for a little bit and I explained to her that Sarah had never told me that, and that I wasn't interested in her that way, etc. Stacy told me that if Sarah started dating someone else that we could go out (which is like a death sentence because Sarah never dates). But basically she acted like she would be interested in going out if it wasn't for Sarah.

    So anyway, how do I bring this up to Sarah? Or do I just wait it out and not say anything? I realize that even if I do tell her it isn't going to just immediatly make her feelings go away, but I still feel like she needs to know so she can at least start moving on or whatever. But I don't want it to ruin our friendship, not just because we're friends, but also because I've become friends with a lot of her friends, too.

    What should I do?


    Cliff's Notes: My friend Sarah has a crush on me. I have no romantic interest in her whatsoever, but I do like her friend Stacy. However, Stacy won't date me out of respect to Sarah, so now I don't know what to do.
     
  2. zysus

    zysus New Member

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    The short answer... Three it up.

    The long answer...
    There isn't much you can do. Try and convince Stacy that she is her own person and that Sarah needs to get over it. That's about it. Good luck... that's a tough spot.
     
  3. HopasaurusRex

    HopasaurusRex Okay, now what the fuck do you want?

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    you should just IM "sarah" a link to this post. you explain yourself pretty well. she definately needs to be aware of your feelings in the matter, and soon or it will only get worse for all involved. all you can do is let her down easy and in a friendly manner. after that the ball is in her court.
     
  4. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

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    wise words manik
     
  5. sipherx

    sipherx Jamesl.info

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    This girl Stacy doesnt sound like she really wants to be with you in my opinion. If she

    really was why would it matter that Sarah is your friend. If she cant handle the fact that

    someone else likes you regardless if its a friend or not, then your gonna have major

    jealousy problems in the future. I could be totally wrong, but if she is basing going out

    with you just because someone else likes you then I say get away from her.
     
  6. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater New Member

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    Well, I'm not going to send her a link to this thread...I'd rather just talk to her about it.

    I think what I'm going to do is just verify 100% that she does have a crush on me (with a few of her friends, who I am also friends with), and then talk to her about it. Or maybe bring up the Stacy thing, because that's a good reason to bring it up. I don't want to throw Stacy under the bus, though, so I can't say that she told me. I'll just have to say I figured it out or something.
     
  7. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    For women, and hopefully for men too, friends always come first. No matter how amazing a man is I would not touch him with a 10 foot pole if I knew my girlfriend would be upset about it. Basically the men you date are expendable, your friends are with you for life no matter what. I would stop trying, if she is a quality girl she is not going to give in. Sorry, that sucks, but it is true:dunno:
     
  8. The Kurtis

    The Kurtis Yes........The

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    get one of your friends to date sarah...as a favor...that way you and stacy can hook up....your friend may get a little action...and he can choose whether or not to dump her later... :dunno:
     
  9. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Wouldn't that be "pussy blocking"?
     
  10. The Kurtis

    The Kurtis Yes........The

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    No that would be "Cock Countering"
     
  11. BTA

    BTA New Member

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    Go talk to some people your parent's ages and ask them how many friends they still have and talk to on a regular basis that they knew from high school or college.

    Betcha you wont find many.

    If you find somebody you can have a great relationship with, fuck your friend who has some sort of problem with it. It's not your friend's place to be in the way of your happiness. (unless they find out about some cheating or what not).

    Just because somebody is your friend doesnt mean they are suddenly these all knowning, stable members of humanity that know everything thats best for you.

    Most people are wackjobs, your friends included.
     
  12. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    :roflw: That's my new motto.
     
  13. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater New Member

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    I agree...I do the same thing. A guy I had just met was interested in a girl and trying to talk to her, and even though I wasn't really that good of friends with him, I didn't go after the girl just because I knew he was trying to talk to her, AND even though I knew she wasn't interested in him at all. So I'm not surprised that Stacy would be like that. She and Sarah aren't very close, either, but I still understand what she's thinking. I like Stacy, but it's certainly not a HUGE deal...I'm more concerned about this type of thing happening again. I don't want Sarah to continually mess up anything I might have going on with any girls in the future.

    Still, though, it almost seems like some high school shit to me. Unless Sarah REALLY likes me a lot, then I don't see why it would bother her that much if I dated one of her friends. Uhhhhhh...shit...:eek4: She must be in love with me. :noes:
     
  14. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater New Member

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    I wish I could do that, but I honestly don't think any of them would want to date her. :hs:
     
  15. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater New Member

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    True dat, but at the same time, there's no way to tell how long Stacy and I would be dating. I don't know her well enough to know that yet. And I'd rather have a friend that I may be friends with for even only a few years than go out on only a few dates with someone else.

    :dunno:
     
  16. The Kurtis

    The Kurtis Yes........The

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    get them to do it as a favor.....they dont have to actually date her....just get her to like them
     
  17. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    :HS: :rolleyes:

    I realized a while ago, that the "Bros before Hoes" saying is quite detrimental to your own well being. Hook up with this chick you like, and go from there. Your friends (or her friends) will never bring you/them true happiness.
     
  18. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    In love?? YIKES :run:

    I would definately talk to her though. Let her know that you only think of her as a friend and you don't see things changing anytime soon. I doubt she would try to mess things up for you in the future though. This is probably only a problem because it is HER friend, hits a little close to home you know?
     
  19. cfordhere

    cfordhere Guest

    simple find another interest and dont associate with them. if stacy really likes you shell come around we all know sarah will be around though so if stacy does happen to come around its not because of sarah anymore it of her own will.
     
  20. BTA

    BTA New Member

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    Yes but we arent talking about just a friend now are we?

    She's just a friend to you, but to her, you are more, or at least she wants you to be more.

    So we're really not dealing with a standard friendship.

    She has a problem because she has her own motives behind it all. A simple friend doesnt put you in the sort of position you are in.
     
  21. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater New Member

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    Ok, I have a sort of interesting and GOOD update, I think.

    One of my friends on myspace posted this bulletin with a link to a supposed "Love Test", or something like that. Anyway, it says it will predict your love and sex life, and it asks you questions about who your crush is, and other stuff like that. It says that it will email you the results for your predictions, but what it really does is send your answers to the person that sent you the test!

    So anyway, I got fooled, so I created my own and posted the same bulletin. Go to this link below if you want to see what the quiz looks like.

    http://www.crush007.com/love.cgi?id=1119552047tmr

    Of course, Sarah filled out the quiz, and put my first name down as her biggest crush. I got the email, and saw this, but we were already messaging each other, so she realized it after she submitted it, and was like "I wasn't talking about you, it's a different person with the same name...blah blah blah" and totally denying it. I didn't want to embarrass her too much, so I just told her that she better be telling the truth, and I told her that we're just FRIENDS (I emphasized that).

    But the really good thing is that she asked me about last night and if I got Stacy's number. I told Sarah that Stacy wouldn't give it to me, but wouldn't really give me a reason (total lie because she DID tell me why). I didn't want to throw Stacy under the bus, you know?

    We kept chatting and I told Sarah to tell Stacy that she should go out with me, and she says "I definitely will" and "I think you guys would make a cute couple" and other stuff like that. So hopefully this problem is solved. I think I made it pretty clear how I feel, and she's going to tell Stacy to go out with me, so hopefully it all goes as planned.

    :bigthumb:
     
  22. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater New Member

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    Money. :) I was hanging out with Stacy, Sarah, and a bunch of other people because it was this girl Eileen's birthday, and Stacy told me that Sarah said she's "not interested in me anymore" or something like that, so now it's cool if we go out. So, I finally got her phone number, and I guess we'll go out some time soon.

    ugh, I almost feel like this is too much work. I've been around this girl 4 times, and I JUST NOW got her phone number? That's just crazy. But I'm really attracted to her and I think she's really cool, so we'll just have to see what happens.

    :wiggle:
     
  23. beno

    beno New Member

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    bros b4 hoes

    i think the whole idea bros b4 hoes should still stand but within reason.. i would only put my friends first if i felt they would do the same 2 me and that i could trust them and they would look out for me.. when u have a friend like that u should never let a girl or guy get in the way... but realistically a lot of friends arnt like that so judge up the situation... i believe the idea bros b4 hoes but there arnt many of my friends who i would put b4 hoes.. just my closer ones who i know would always do the same for me other way around
     
  24. dbman96

    dbman96 Active Member

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    been there... one girl was chasing me for like 3 years, I really wasn't into her but she was keeping all the other girls I knew away from me. I ended up sorta letting things happen with her because, well, I wasn't getting any action anywhere else. but in the long run I hooked up with one of her best friends behind her back, she got royally pissed for a month or so, and now I'm married to the friend and the original girl is still friends with both of us once all the dust settled.

    just do what you have to do, people are remarkably adaptable.
     

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