Anyone ever date a narcissist/sociopath?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by formul8, Feb 16, 2009.

  1. formul8

    formul8 New Member

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    Let's hear your stories. :noes:
     
  2. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    My current gf is a total narcissist. I wouldn't go as far as to say she's sociopath though.

    It can be a real pain in the ass to deal with sometimes, but I've learned to pick my battles wisely and thats helped our relationship in addition to the fact that we talked about it a while back and she works on it too.

    I'm a total narcissist too, so sometimes our smallest arguments can turn into wars.
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    red flag.

    abort.
     
  4. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    Not necessarily. Every attractive, successful, ambitious girl is going to have narcissistic traits.
     
  5. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    My mother is a by the book narcissist and it's caused so many problems in our family. A narcissist is poisonous and will ruin the lives of the people around them with absolutely zero remorse. 3 divorces, 2 delinquent children, and thousands of dollars lost can all be attributed to her personality disorder. If it wasn't my own mother I would get as far away from those people as humanly possible.

    I feel bad for the men she's been involved with the most. She has sucked everything she could out of every man dumb enough to fall into her trap and then when she's done, spits them out in the most hurtful way possible (often manipulating senerios that make them wind up in jail and/or out of any money they ever had).

    My advice? GTFO!!!
     
  6. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    I agree with this... but a full blown "narcissist/sociopath" is a whole nother league... we're talking about people who literally can't comprehend consequences of their actions beyond their own gains. People who manipulate nearly everything around them to feed their own ego and selfish needs.
     
  7. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    you really shouldn't put yourself down like that :hsugh:
     
  8. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    lol, she has 3 kids :mamoru: i'm teh good one!
     
  9. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    Yes.

    If you're dating a true sociopath and you're not using that term lightly, the chances are you're not gonna know it for a looooooooong time until you're very deep into the relationship.
     
  10. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    or be completely and utterly destroyed by soul crushingly poor self esteem
     
  11. giz

    giz Active Member

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    Don't have experience with this, but I'm going to have to agree on this point.
     
  12. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    .
     
  13. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    Double :werd:
     
  14. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    My buddy did.

    Basically, he started dating a friend of a friend who had recently broken up with her ex. And she had no job. But she seemed really nice and fit into his personality type really well, so we didn't think too much of it.

    As they got more comfortable, he started chipping in on some of her bills and occasionally loaned her his brand new truck to run errands out of town since her car was barely running. I personally was against it, but like I said, we all took a liking to her and benefited from being friends with someone we already trusted.

    One day, she's got his truck and hasn't called in a day or two. He's gotta go to work and he's worried about her since she's not picking up. I guess she usually checks in to let him know everything's good. So he calls up her best friend to make sure nothing happened to her (or the truck) and while they're talking, it comes out that he's been chipping in on her bills, that he's really into her and they're dating.

    Well, when the best friend realizes what's going on, she tells him exactly what's been going on: she's been fucking her ex and tells her ex she and my buddy are "just friends" despite telling the rest of us (even her own friends) the opposite. And when she was asked about why she let him pay for her shit, she says "well he offered".

    I dunno, maybe not sociopathic. But we never would've figured it out unless she disappeared with the truck. She played her part pretty well. I felt pretty bad for him, but at least he found out early.

    The funny thing is, she listed him as a reference on a job application and she's got an interview this week, so she emails him asking him not to tell them what's been happening if they call, because "her career is on the line".

    I told him he doesn't owe her shit, and to feel free to tell them what he knows if they call.
     
  15. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    well, that's what we call her anyway :mamoru:
     
  16. Lindsay Loham

    Lindsay Loham New Member

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    For about 3 and a half years. Didn't realize it until the relationship was near the end.
     
  17. KrissyKrass

    KrissyKrass New Member

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    I’m pretty sure I have dated a narcissist/sociopath. Actually it was a scary relationship that I really didn’t know how to get out of. Some of the things I remember about him / the relationship –

    -His view of himself was that he was better than everyone else. Almost like a superior being.
    -He had an unattainable destiny that no one was going to stand in the way of.
    -He would tell me what he wanted me to do and keep twisting my words until my action/s was what he originally wanted.
    -Could not relate or connect to my emotions. But he could act like he cared extremely well.
    -He would lie about all sorts of things because it benefited him.
    -Not very driven for everyday life things – such as job/money/car
    -Could tell he was uneasy in social situations ( probably because he had lack of control over them.)
    -Rage and deep anger seem to reside within. However the only time I saw that was when someone would make fun of/teasing him. Or borrow something from his room without asking. He would freak out in rage.
    -He didn’t care anything about others / humanity and he would admit this to me. For example 9-11 attacks. He didn’t feel sorry for any of the families that lost loved ones. Or that the country was attacked. It didn’t affect him therefore it didn’t matter.
    -Every time he walked by a mirror or reflective glass he had to stop and admire himself.
    -Also was compulsive about working out to keep his body image up to his standards – no one else’s.

    I know that makes me sound like a dumb ass for dating him. But understand these people are very convincing and manipulative. They want to use you for their own needs. It has nothing to do with you because they CAN’T care that much about you. It’s all about them. And yes it is very hard to tell if someone is sociopath. They are good at what they do.

    Happy dating. x__X
     
  18. bobbarker70

    bobbarker70 New Member

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    ^^

    It makes sense that you dated him. If you're dating a real sociopath, you won't know it for months or even years after meeting them.

    My ex was as close to a sociopath as you can get. I was 18 and she was 15 when we met, and she was already balancing multiple men and sleeping with them, and I knew very little about it until she told me about one of the guys she considered her "boyfriend". What really freaked me out about it was I have an excellent bullshit detector and didn't see it coming at all. She was FIFTEEN years old. It freaked me out a little, but I was an 18 year old guy, and she was hot, whatever, you live and learn.

    She used to tell me vampires would contact her and they would meet and that she had a crucial destiny for the sake of mankind. She used to say it jokingly, and one night when we were just hanging out, she told me she really believed it. I thought she was kidding anyways. In retrospect i'm not so sure if she was kidding. She probably needs serious medical treatment.

    It was even scarier for me when we broke up 2 year later. I would talk to people who knew her through schools or other social situations besides how I knew her, just to find out if she had lied to me throughout the course of dating about certain things. The things she would say or do while I wasn't around boggled my mind, to guys she made out with, or people she wanted things from, etc. It was as if she would do, or say, ANYTHING to satisfy her own motives, regardless of the effects it had on others or the truth. The last I heard she was dating some kid who goes to Harvard for molecular biology, an she was even cheating on him. Unbelievable.

    And my family wonders why I haven't dated in about 18 months? lol.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2009
  19. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Are you kidding me? Dating a 15 year old while being 18, first mistake, maturity wasnt there. Second, you let a 15 year old cheat on you, and yet you let the relationship last 2 years after finding out?
     
  20. bobbarker70

    bobbarker70 New Member

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    She didn't cheat on me, she cheated on her boyfriend with me. I've spoken to people and am fairly certain she cheated me on, but I found that out way later. She had other guys hanging around when we first met but I didn't find out about that, again until long after we dated.

    When I met her she told me she was 17, and again, another lie, but it was very believable. She looked my age when I met her and I know it sounds like typical creeper shit, but I genuinely mean it. Again, a lack of maturity on my part, and she was an incredible lier.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2009

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