SRS Anyone else extremely skeptical?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Carl Brutananadilewski, Jan 18, 2009.

  1. Carl Brutananadilewski

    Carl Brutananadilewski Active Member

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    I guess that is how I would describe it. I tend to find myself doubting most of what people, even friends and family, tell me. I'm not sure how best to describe it.

    For example, I have a date next week with a girl from work. The girl is REALLY cute, awesome personality, etc. and according to her friend she is really into me. We actually had planned to go out this week, but she went aout of town to visit a friend she hasn't seen in a long time. For some reason, and I know it's irrational, I have a nagging doubt that she just told me that and isn't actually interested.

    Anyone else like this? I dunno if it's just because of my career that I doubt what everyone tells me (I work security full time and I'm a cop part time), or subconciously I am still emotionally fucked over my divorce about 7 months ago.

    This sucks :hsd:
     
  2. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    all. the. time. I can't tell you how many times I've slipped up with a girl just because I didn't think she was interested, only to put the pieces together later and realize she probably was at that point.

    In my case, I'm guessing it's mostly due to seeing and experiencing the worst in people while I was growing up.
     
  3. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    I've learned to internalize it, I guess. Roll with the situation & keep a reasonable distance until doubts are either dispelled or validated.

    Don't hold back from going out, just remain a little aloof & gently investigate - no interrogating. If it seems like the situation is not ideal, just don't pursue any further.

    Sometimes you just have to choose between instinct & personal want.
     
  4. BwanaKuu

    BwanaKuu New Member

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    I'm the exact opposite and it hurts me a lot because I fall for shit or take things the wrong way. :hs: Worst one is I'll think a girl's into me because she talks with me a lot until I realize much later that's just her personality and she's like that with everyone. :hs:

    Guess you gotta just find a middle ground? I try to tell myself not to see into anything too much until I really start to know someone.
     
  5. Carl Brutananadilewski

    Carl Brutananadilewski Active Member

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    Well, at least I'm not the only one :hs:

    Lucky for me I am very outgoing and am a pretty good judge of character, so I can read people. I just hate the doubts that I have about shit that shouldn't be there. I have no reason to think a friend is avoiding me, or a girl is just being nice, or whatever, yet the thought is there.

    Oh, and, free advice for others reading this thread: don't date coworkers. Especially if you work in a place that is like a high school with regards to gossip and rumors. Nobody knows about the date, but they certainly seem to think we are already fucking, only because I talk to her when we work together and we've hung out together but with other people from work :ugh2:
     
  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Nope, I feel the same way and think the same way. It's important to consider where the skepticism comes from, and the reality is, a lot of prior experiences have shown that this protects us from repeating prior suffering.

    Skepticism is like dipping your toe in the pool, Cynicism is saying "Fuck you, I'm not going in at all."

    It's ok to think about it.
     
  7. Kirlain

    Kirlain First world problems

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    My ex gf was. She was EXTREMELY pessimistic. Everything was negative, no exaggeration. I could give examples but there is no need...imagine ANY situation, and find the worst in it...and there you go.

    Stuff like that is bad, really. She had a lot of 'self' issues, and was going to a shrink when we broke up. My advice is stop being that way. :) Even if things always do go bad, just let it roll off your shoulders bro. Be a rock.
     
  8. ZSPTurbo

    ZSPTurbo New Member

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    I'm a bit like that, I'm also a bit of a conspiracy theorist.

    It's just a bunch of bullshit excuses I make to procrastinate doing things. Struggling with it myself at the moment.
     
  9. ZSPTurbo

    ZSPTurbo New Member

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    I FUCKING HATE THAT SHIT!!!​
     
  10. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I've ruined so many opportunities thinking like this. But it's only when I think the girl's interested but not exactly sure that I overanalyze and end up screwing myself over, mostly due to lack of initiation. If a friend tells me a girl likes me or if I know I have absolutely no shot then there's no problem.
     
  11. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    I'm skeptical about absolutely everything and everyone, but I never let it stop me from doing anything important. As long as you make sure your skepticism doesn't ruin your life, you'll be good
     
  12. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    you sound like you have low self esteem
     
  13. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Everyone deserves at least one chance is my motto, for me i use the innocent until proven guilty method. Its a good way to filter out the bad people and ditch those who you dislike without wasting your chances with the good people that you don't want to lose in your life.
     
  14. Carl Brutananadilewski

    Carl Brutananadilewski Active Member

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    Not so much anymore. When I was growing up and into high school, definitely.

    My guess on why I'm like this is because of the fucked up shit my wife did, and constantly being lied to at work :hs:

    Like I said initially, I've gotten to the point where I just don't trust what anyone says. I'm not really sure how to combat this problem, either :dunno:
     
  15. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Trust takes time, you don't have to trust someone immediatly, but if a person has done things good enough , then as a reward you should give them more trust, bit by bit. Never trust someone 100% tho, always have a little piece of distrust so that you keep a good eye on things, but whatever you do , don't become a victim of the paranoid.
     
  16. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    you have to face your trust fears head on and take risks and chances knowing that you could possibly get hurt again but tough through it.
     

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