LGBT Anybody wish they wouldn't have came out?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by RedGoober4Life, May 5, 2004.

  1. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    Okay, so, coming out definitely had its "relief" but I don't know if it was worth it. I still feel like I'm tip-toeing around my parents. I really hate explaining myself to people. People that shouldn't even ask for explanations.

    I guess if I was striving for attention from anything it would be a great way to get it, but I'm not. I like to go unnoticed. Maybe if I went away to college it would have been better, but I'm not ready for that. I couldn't afford that whatsoever and I would feel bad asking my parents to help.

    Argh. Still feel fairly trapped.
     
  2. Taylor

    Taylor Guest

    Sometimes I feel a pang of regret because some people find it so interesting that I'm gay that it all too often is the subject of conversation when I would rather that it wasn't. As time goes on, it will probably become of less interest to the people who know me well, but since I've been out for such a short time it's still a hot topic.

    On another note, why do you feel bad for asking your parents to help you for college? It's almost out of the norm in today's society for parents not to help a child with college. No reason to feel bad about it. You could even apply for financial aid or pay your parents back after school. You shouldn't miss out on college.
     
  3. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    Sometimes I feel like I've put a burden on them that they shouldn't have to carry, and adding to it would only create more. I'm going to a local community college for now, don't know where to transfer to after. My grades, well, I have a 4.0 if I can pull off good grades on my finals next week. So transfering will be no problem.

    I don't qualify for financial aid. It's a lovely system.
     
  4. Taylor

    Taylor Guest

    You should never feel like you're creating a burden on your parents. Have you talked to them about the subject? They knew what they were getting into when they had you, and it's rare these days for parents to refuse to help children get any education that they can afford after high school.
     
  5. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Issue #1 -- Coming out is a never ending process. Every day, I have to come out all over again. I have to come out every time someone assumes that I am straight and should/could/must do this/that/the other with some random female to have all of these crumb snatchers. By definition of the heteronormativity that our current society is framed, I'm forced to constantly reaffirm myself to every new person I meet, and every person who refuses to accept me just as I am.



    Issue #2 -- In today's economy, and based on yesterday's investments, not every family has that golden collegiate spoon waiting to help out the next generations. Red, you need to sit down with your parents and have a talk. Ask them if they are willing to co-sign a loan, and that all you need them to do is pay the interest right now... so that it doesn’t defer and depress you upon graduation (sounds like you don't need any other avoidable things on your plate). Also, with your grades you may apply for grant/scholarships. What ethnicity are you? Start looking up things that offer you money. There are all kinds of things out there (ranging from handedness to sexuality). College is an option that everyone should take. Even if it takes you a lil more time, make sure that you do it.
     
  6. Taylor

    Taylor Guest

    Well said CoCo. Relating to #1, I like to go out to eat, or go to movies, or whatever, with female friends of mine, just two of us, and to the outside world it looks like a date. I can tell by the way people look at us that they assume we're boyfriend/girlfriend. They get asked all the time by other women "Is that your boyfriend?" It sucks sometimes. Sometimes, I feel like laying it out like it is, but often I just don't have the energy and just let them assume it.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 5, 2004
  7. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    I think I'm going to just see what happens in the near future. :hs:
     
  8. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Goober,

    Over time, it will become easier...you'll feel better about it. Right now, it sounds like the whole concept of you being gay is still very fresh in your parents' minds. It takes time.

    Just like it took many of us a long time to be able to admit we were gay and to come out in some instances, it also takes some parents a long time to process, understand and come to accept that which they cannot control.

    In a lot of ways, you and I are alike. I don't like having to explain myself to people, and I pride myself on slipping through the crowds unnoticed. It has its advantages. However, your parents should be the one exception to this rule.

    You are their child, and they are your parents that brought you into this world. You may not owe anyone else an explanation and the time of day, but by God, you do owe them at least the common courtesy of giving them the time to explain who you are, and why you are the way you are to the best of your abilities.

    As you go through life, there's one thing I want you to remember: the most important gift you can ever give anyone of any importance in your life, is your time. Even I'm still trying to learn and practice this one.

    And if your parents need time from you, whether it's time for talking or time for you to explain and help them understand things, then that is something you should be able to give of yourself without question.

    Just my opinion. :o
     

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