SRS Anybody have a long distance relationship that worked out?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by whiteaccord, Dec 11, 2005.

  1. whiteaccord

    whiteaccord OT Supporter

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    I mean real long distance. I'm from California, and she's in Germany =[ . I met her through one of my friends and we talked and hung out a lot. I really started to like her, but I kept on thinking to myself that it would never work out since we'd be so far apart. When we talk she even says that she would never get in a long distance relationship.

    After I heard her say that, I really hesitated to tell her how I really felt about her. But I also felt that it'd be hard on us both to have anything with so much distance in-between us. What do you guys think?
     
  2. CastorTroy

    CastorTroy New Member

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    Unless she has plans to move to Cali, or you plan to move there in the future, not a good idea to start something that will end. Long distance can work, but the how long it can last hinges on whether or not there are long term plans in the future, how long being apart will be, and the people's general feelings on it and the other person.

    I had an ex that moved back to where she came from, about 600 miles away, it didn't last too long afterwords (a few months) because we had no personal time together, only the phone and email. The stress and frustration of it became too much so I had to call it quits.

    If she's not into LD relationships, and your unsure of it, and living half a world apart, I'd recommend looking closer to home for a relationship.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I only have records of bad experiences, you see you need a girl in your inner circle 'something substantional' you don't need virtual garbage in your life, you want the REAL thing. And as said unless she's moving to you, forget it, get a girl within 'reach' is the keyword.
     
  4. Spirito

    Spirito New Member

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    time will tell , she can't wait for you forever !
     
  5. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    Long distance relationships work only if you two see yourself married in a near future.
     
  6. whiteaccord

    whiteaccord OT Supporter

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    thanks for the input guys. it's easier said than done to get over someone :wtc:
     
  7. BigT

    BigT LSX Crew

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    Short answer Yes. :)

    Here is the story: (kinda long)
    My brother was doing the LD thing and decided it was time to move his gf up from PA to MI(535miles) He asked me to help with the move. A few months before the move took place she(his gf) was telling about a friend of hers. I said no, I will not do a long distance relationship.. Without me know she told her friend, she was against the long distance relationship.
    Anyway moving weekend came, me and my bro drive down we go to dinner with his gf and her parents. Later that night we are going to meet up with some of her friends and go to the bar. We go over to her friends house which happens to be the girl(jen) she told me about. Basically we end up talking a lot throughout the night. :wiggle: The next night my bro's gf is having a bonfire at her place, jen shows up we end up talking all night long. We exchanged #'s and all. She call me the next day on the drive home and we talked for a while. We were in agreement that it was not going to be easy but we both felt it could be worth it. The next weekend(memorial day) she comes up and we have a blast together.
    Over the next 4 months we see each other 6 times. :rofl: We didn't like being apart. We knew we wanted to be together there was really no question, we were already talking about her moving up when in september she was released from her job. Basically she moved up 2 weeks later and things have been really good.
    It is the hardest thing in the world to not be with the one you love, you do appreciate things a lot more. Initially things were hard when she moved up but it has gotten so much better. I knew she was 'the one' and we wanted this to work, so does she. :)

    One of you will have to move, if neither of you want to then don't even go any further. And think about how much plane tickets will cost.
     
  8. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    For me they seemed to work out fine, until we actually moved to live in the same town.

    I think they can work if you make sure meetings aren't always sexual. Communication isn't always obsessive. (Girl needing to know all about your life). Girl becomming overly obsessed with you.

    In short, it usually doesn't work.
     
  9. whiteaccord

    whiteaccord OT Supporter

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    if she could, i think she'd move to california in a heartbeat. she hates it in Germany, but she can't leave her family and friends there. also, she's going to start college soon, and it's pretty much free (paid for by the government there) and if she studied here, she'd have to work so much harder (work and school full time).

    i care about her so much though, and since she's been gone, i don't think there's been a waking moment when i DON'T think about her. I don't think I can just let her go, if she wants to try, I'm going to do eveyrthing i can to make it work.
     
  10. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Blood is thicker than water. If she's deeply attached to her family and friends, she won't leave no matter how much she doesn't like the place. You'd have to move there. Would you give up your family and friends to go live there?

    She's also starting college. If the rest of the threads on OT weren't enough of an indicator, here's a heads-up: people change drastically between high school and the end of college. Even if you were to pick up and move, she might decide that there's another person better suited to her than you. That would be a costly turn of events for you.

    In summary, I'd recommend staying in touch but look elsewhere for your romantic needs. If you're still as ardent in a couple of years as you are today and she's agreeable, go visit for a few weeks and see if that chemistry is really there.
     
  11. quid

    quid I Piss Excellence OT Supporter

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    i have not

    2 year relationship, she lied to me for a year, she lived 100 miles away
     
  12. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Did you two actually start dating yet? I get the feeling that you are still debating whether or not to actually reveal your feelings to her?

    And so you want to know if LD relationships work in order to further assess whether or not to reveal your feelings?

    Well, unless you or she plan on moving in the near future, this relationship probably isn't going to happen, and it definitely won't last.

    Unless you or she have some history of intimacy issues which would make you seek out an LD relationship -- which by definition have a certain built-in limit on the amount of intimacy or contact that is possible.


    Anyways, go ahead. Reveal your feelings to her.

    Whether a relationship results from it...who knows. But speak your heart.
    Live free. No regrets.
     
  13. SICK GUY

    SICK GUY 69, DUDE!!

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    just take it slow and dont expect the world. if you go into it wanting to be 100% commited, it will take its toll on both of you. just stay in touch through email, aim, etc. and hope for the best over time. just sort of stay friends, this route will establish a better relationship anyway (if you do in fact get together again).

    i guess just be realistic in your expectations.
     
  14. mrs0323

    mrs0323 New Member

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    YES! Although we were online friends for almost 3 years before we even broached the "other" aspect of our relationship. He finally flew down to meet me in April, and then again in early June and then moved here in July. We are very happy and I attribute alot of that to the fact that we took our time and we already knew eachother's history. We approached the initial face to face meeting as "we'll see what happens. if nothing, no harm no foul". I adore him, the sex is incredible, we have mutual goals, etc. It IS alot of work, I mean, ALOT of work. Best thing to do is to go in with your eyes wide open and recognize all the cons of the situation so if you two have a bad day, you're already prepared for it.
     
  15. whiteaccord

    whiteaccord OT Supporter

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    thanks for all the input guys/and gals -=P, i really appreciate each and everyone's opinion :hug:
     

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