SRS Anybody ever feel "stuck" socially?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by BwanaKuu, Aug 26, 2009.

  1. BwanaKuu

    BwanaKuu New Member

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    I'm going into my sophomore year of college. My freshman year was good overall, got a group of friends, did well in classes, partied a bit, etc. Only bad thing was my roommate. :squint: But I've got a much better one this year so that problem is out of the way.

    Anyway, onto my main problem. I have a few interests that are considered "weird" by most people. Most people know I'm a bit of a nerd since I play a lot of video games and know a lot about computers but they don't care much about that. But these other interests would be very weird to them (mostly because they don't really understand them). It doesn't help that all of the other people on campus with these interests are some of the weirdest people I've ever met.

    In high school this was fine because I wasn't living with my peers 24/7 so I could just do my own thing at home. But now that I live with my friends 24/7 I can't really do my own thing (especially since I have a roommate). Now I know I just shouldn't care what other people think and that they're not really my friend if they don't like me because of these interests, but I just feel "stuck" since I HAVE to see them 24/7. Having a social life is obviously very important, but I feel like I HAVE to conform to what everyone else likes and does.

    Sometimes I think about introducing my friends to this stuff since they just don't understand it and I know they would love it if they tried. But I was with some of my female friends once and they were checking out the facebook of a guy they were going nuts about only to see these interests on there. Instant turn off. They never even mentioned his name again. That's the moment I realized that these interests really can alienate people for some reason. It just seems like social suicide to let anyone know about this.

    I doubt there's much I really can do for now except wait until I can get my own place (school forces you to stay with campus housing all 4 years).
     
  2. chrissponias

    chrissponias New Member

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    Your problem is very common. There are many people in this world that feel disconnected with their social environment, because they have a different personality, and they cannot find people that are able to evaluate their preferences.

    However, this is a very big world!

    If you’ll look, you’ll find people that have the same interests you do. It may take some time, but keep looking for them, because when you’ll find a group of friends who will appreciate the same things you do, you’ll feel much better, even if most people around you will never be able to understand you. At least you’ll have your gang, and a few people to connect with.
     
  3. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    what constitutes these "other" interests, and what is it about them that means you have to be alone?
     
  4. BwanaKuu

    BwanaKuu New Member

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    I have found other people that share the interests but I would never like them as a person because they're just really out there. o_O

    It's mostly more "hardcore (I hate that term)" nerd stuff. Anime, manga, sci-fi, etc. I'd be alone because people would stop associating with me since those things are only for the outcasts at my school. :hs: I act nothing like those people but I still feel I would get excluded from my social circle if they ever found out.
     
  5. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    oh lol....



    i used to play a super anime type online game. i mean it was a part of who i am and i still have friends that probably do not know what anime even means. And I met a few people in real life that also played this game, and they were too weird for me. So we never really hung out in person, but were cool friends online. So just enjoy the stuff, your friends dont have to like it, and you can be flexible. As long as you get out there, do what pleases you, then it should be ok. I really don't think you should be embarrased to show your "normal" friends or roommates your anime stuff. it probably is not going to make a lick of sense to them...


    i thought you were talking about some kind of super weird stuff with a lot of sterepotypical implications, but seriously anime and magna are not weird.
     
  6. BwanaKuu

    BwanaKuu New Member

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    The main stereotypes for anime and manga at my school:
    1. porn
    2. just for kids
    3. loli and typical otaku stuff (which I don't watch anyway)
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    A computer is a social isolation device, its contradiction is that even tho you can connect to everyone in this world with it, you don't meet anyone in real life as long as you stay behind it, which in result induces lonelyness. And the second problem that it brings is that everyone who is like you, is also behind their computer and not 'out there in real life' meaning you won't find anyone who is like you exept thru the computer. So only if you meet up with a girl who's also very interested in anime, scfi etc you can connect, and from there on you have to make the LDR into a short distance relationship by either one of you moving into the house with eachother.
     
  8. juvental604

    juvental604 I like to pee upside down OT Supporter

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    really your interests arent even considered that weird . You just need to learn how to make it so you can relate it to things that everyday people will understand.

    For example when the comedian russel peters talks about DDR. Half the audience doesnt even know what ddr is yet they all laugh about it because he is able to laugh at himself and use metaphors to link it to whatever you can think of.

    At the end of the day if people cant respect some of the interests you have they probably arent good friends. Good friends will usually have an open mind to all sorts of things. Just make sure you have an open mind to their interests too. Stop caring what people think of you so much, its more of a turn off to women than anything else.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2009
  9. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    Your interests really aren't that nerdy. I know plenty of people into manga, anime, sci-fi and they get along fine. I also know some otaku who still get along pretty well. The main thing is that it's all about you. If you make the fact that you like these things weird than yeah it will be but if they just happen to see you like it then it's no big deal. They may end up showing an interest in it after seeing a normal guy like you can be into these "hardcore nerdy" things too. In the end if your friends decide you are some super loser because you like some anime then you have some shitty friends.
     
  10. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    At least there are manga boards and stuff where other closet otakus can talk about anime/mange. The wonderful internet.
     
  11. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    Your interests don't make you a weird person, you're just different. I wouldn't worry about what other people think about it.

    I've always measured my friends by the content of their character, not their personal interests.
     
  12. BwanaKuu

    BwanaKuu New Member

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    Just wondering, but how old are you? I feel like this is true of older people, but people around my age (19) seem to cling to each other based on their interests alone. I've met very few people who would actually be a real friend since everyone is so damn superficial and seem to just become friends with someone just because that person can raise their social status. There are a few people I know who would be completely fine with this stuff, especially since they have some odd interests as well. Then again, they seem to do fine socially, so maybe it's all just in my head...
     
  13. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    I'm 20 and telling you it's all in your head.
     
  14. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    consider changing your perspective into what you want it to be. the world is full of diversity, and i assure you there are people your age that don't cling to each other so to speak.
     
  15. katt_85

    katt_85 OT Supporter

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    Your hobby isn't weird at all. I know a 35 year old man with the largest action figure collection I've ever seen, and even though some people test him by going "you collect toys and your how old? thats weird/immature" he just lets it roll right off him, laughs and mentions a few cool things about it. They come to realize the sterotype of basement dwelling collector is just that and allow themselves to give it a chance and realize it is kinda cool.

    Most people will realize that you are still the same person they liked before they knew you loved manga/anime and will come to accept it as long as that's not all you talk about.
     
  16. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    1. Do you really want to pretend to be someone you're not just to fit in? Would that really make you happy? Why make yourself the kind of guy 95% of girls would be happy with, when you won't be happy with 95% of girls?

    2. Girls are impressed by attitude, not hobbies. If you tell them straight up in a confident, light-hearted way that you're a huge nerd then they can poke fun and you can laugh it off. Right there you've destroyed the stereotype of the meek, socially inept social outcast. All they will remember is that you're confident and funny, they won't give a fuck about your video games.

    like katt says though, make sure you have several interests besides the nerdy ones and you're all good.
     
  17. teamB_macro

    teamB_macro New Member

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    weird is subjective. just do your thing.
     
  18. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    I kno a guy who is into hentai or whatever it's called and has anime as his computer background but he still has tons of friends and still lands girls.

    It's ALL about attitude. If you act ashamed, other people will think it's something to be ashamed about.

    I don't think your interests are all that weird honestly. Especially in teh college world. You'd be surprised, people aren't as superficial and stuck up in college.
     

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