any way to regain trust?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Zackkahry, Jan 15, 2009.

  1. Zackkahry

    Zackkahry New Member

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    other then time?

    long story short, a girl i really like doesn't trust me. I fucked up. whatever, i dont want to get into the details. I didn't cheat, but she probably thinks i did.

    Anything I can do? Or just say fuck it?
     
  2. chloe

    chloe New Member

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    I winced at the 'whatever.' Have you seriously considered how she feels? You sound flippant. It usually takes a LOT of work to regain trust. You are basically starting from ground zero.
     
  3. veonake

    veonake OnT poster, OT lurker

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    You didn't cheat, but she thinks you did? What is there to regain trust from? Only thing you can do is trust her that she'll see that she can trust you again. Don't do anything that would make her question her trust in you, etc.
     
  4. Zackkahry

    Zackkahry New Member

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    I have, i regret it deeply. I just feel like I'm out of options. I have no idea what to say... I still talk to her quite frequently, but she doesnt want to see me.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    And you're really not going to share what you did exactly that made her lose your trust?
     
  6. Zackkahry

    Zackkahry New Member

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    I'm basically going to sound like a complete fuck up, but here we go:

    She found out i was fucking around on craigslist. I wasn't seriously looking to hook up with anyone (honestly) but obviously she isnt going to believe that. I was just messing around :dunno:
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    And are you guys a label? How long have you been dating?
     
  8. Zackkahry

    Zackkahry New Member

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    we saw each other at the end of november, but were both away for christmas. We talked a lot, but didnt see each other again until a bit after christmas and then on new years. I have no idea what we were :dunno:

    I dunno if you remember, but i got out of a long term, long distance relationship a few months ago. I dated around a bit, but i actually really like this girl, so i want it to work.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Oh duh, I remember you now. Yeah man, I'd let this one go. I know you started to have feeling for her but it was so early on and you two have barely seen each other in the past few weeks. At this point so early on she saw something about you that triggered some kind of insecurity in men and now she's porbbaly over it/you. I know that's not what you want to hear but I'd just let it go. You don't need to be seriously dating anyone this soon yet anyway.
     
  10. Zackkahry

    Zackkahry New Member

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    Yeah, I know. I figured the same thing. She txts me pretty much every day though :dunno: I don't get it. I would love for things to work out, but I think this one is out of my hands now.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    If you have expressed to her the situation and she chooses to still not believe you or think you are "cheating" (even though you two have never explicitly made yourselves a label) then ther'es really not much you can do, nor do I think you should kill yourself to convince her.

    If she's this over it that fast chances are she's got a lot of trust issues that would surface constantly if you two even worked it out for right now.
     
  12. awdboost

    awdboost New Member

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    Yup classic story. It seems she does have some trust issues, and if they arose this early you better be sure they will arise later on if a relationship was to restart.

    I say stay away you can probably regain the trust, but she will lose it quick because of her own insecurity issues. Stay away.
     
  13. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    The best way I've found to gain trust in a relationship is start over with someone new and don't lie or cheat.
     
  14. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    If you never agreed to be exclusive then you haven't done anything wrong. She's not your girlfriend so you are free to try to look for other women. Whether or not that's actually what you were doing doesn't matter. She has a right to be hurt because she likes you but you haven't done anything to break her trust. Explain to her that you don't need to gain back any trust because you didn't break it. She probably won't like that and will still be upset but she needs to realize that it's her problem to deal with and not yours because you didn't do anything wrong. Don't let her convince you that you did.
     
  15. ripcurl

    ripcurl Member

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    It's tough but if you both really want and you think it's worth it then it is definitely possible to regain trust.

    The part you don't want to hear and this comes totally from personal experience..

    It takes time.

    Be open and honest with her at all times. the key to regaining trust is to never let her even THINK about the issue that broke the trust. Nothing you do can even somehow relate to THAT issue. You have to answer EVERYTIME she calls. You have to text her back promptly. You cannot play games and you cannot ever be shady. But the reality is if you do any of the things listed above, you don't really want it anyways.

    Theres the long, the short is that it may be smarter to start over but smarter is not always the best or right way.

    Good luck sir
     

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