any tips on dealing with psychological impotence?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by black jesus, Feb 10, 2005.

  1. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    For some reason, whenever I am going to bang a woman I am very attracted to, I just can't get my shit to work. I associate alot of stress with sex, and most of the time its so bad that I don't even want to fuck. I'd rather just be the fuck alone. WTF is going one, why am I feeling like this? THe last few women I've slept with, one nighters btw, i've not wanted to deal with sex, but I eventually went ahead with it though I could hardly keep my shit up. Actually blowing my load is totally out of the question.

    Now I'm supposed to go out with a woman I am very attracted to, she would make the perfect gf, but I don't even want to begin to deal with going out with her this week, because it would propably end up in sex, and I don't want to deal with the stress of that.

    What should I do? Its not like I can turn down sex, if I ever want to see her again. My penis works fine, as long as I'm not sleeping with a girl for the first couple times. For some reason, I just freak the fuck out.
     
  2. almostnormal

    almostnormal OT Supporter

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    Viagra will fix it. Been there, done that.
     
  3. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    So I'm like, fucked? I'd rather overcome the psychological implications of whatever it is, rather than just medicating, since I don't have insurance.
     
  4. almostnormal

    almostnormal OT Supporter

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    No, but it may help you get your confidence back. Get you over this hump. Are you depressed? Depression is a common cause of it.
     
  5. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I don't know man, i'm kinda a psych mess right now. I'm about to graduate, I've haven't had a relationship in 4 years, I'm poor, and shit like that.
     
  6. Ghostaz0r

    Ghostaz0r With my ego, I can stand there in a Speedo, and be

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    Dude my teacher in school today told a kid that he might become impotent in a few years from smoking...it was fucking hilarious and the kid had NO idea what he was talking about :rofl:

    Thats a shitter about your little syndrome there...just keep working at it and calm down. Sex is fun if you arent like slaving over it..
     
  7. djshooter22

    djshooter22 Guest

    Stress will cause you to become impotent. Stress can also cause you to not want sex in general. You may want to work on dealing with the stress then try and see how things go in the sack. Also you may feel more comfortable if you are in a relationship with someone rather than just having sex right from the start. Early congratulations on graduation and best of luck to you with everything.
     
  8. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    thanks.

    Seriously though, its not like I am going to be able to start a relationship if I can't fuck. I want see this woman in question this weekend, but if she wants sex and I don't go through with it, she will most likely go somewhere else and lose interest. I feel like I am fucked, and now worried about it because a woman is available whom I am very attracted to.
     
  9. 2LD

    2LD New Member

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    you gotta chill and dont even think about it. When you get alone with this woman, get comfortable - a situation where youre at one of your familiar places. If youre really into her - start with working her out and pleasing her, take your time exploring that body and if shes as fine as you say ... youll be 2longdong in no time
    Once you get past this one time and have your confidence back - you wont sweat it anymore. I can tell youre a young guy, trust me stud, Ive known a lot of players and they all have blowouts when it just didnt work for whatever reasons - get in it and get past it. congrats on the graduation by the way
    2LD
     
  10. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    Is 24 still young?
     
  11. neebelung

    neebelung Guest

    Take your time and DATE her for a while... don't WORRY about the sex. Make sure your dates involve DOING things, actual activities where you're not bored or just laying around where sex might become an expectation. As you spend time with her, and you realize that she really likes you, you'll get over the anxiety... it may take time, and it may take some great patience and understanding on her part, but if she's a good person, and truly cares about you, it won't bother her, and she'll stick with you till the problem is cured.

    For the record, I've been with a man who had this problem... though he didn't initially realize that it was a performance anxiety problem... he even went so far as to contact his Doctor to see what the problem was... but with a little time, a little patience and a lot of TRYING, we got past it.....)
     
  12. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    so what did the doctor recommend? I guess I don't know how to end a date, or even something less formal like just getting some drinks and chatting, without either ending it in sex, or never speaking again.

    Thanks again for the help.
     
  13. neebelung

    neebelung Guest

    Well, the Doctor felt it could be a few things... he said if you have a rigorous workout routine, and then you stop suddenly (which he had, due to a sports-related injury) that you will have a makred decrease in testosterone production. He also said that an unhealthy diet can cause temporary problems with erection. And last, certain allergy/cold medications can cause swelling of the prostate, which can interfere with sexual function.

    However, we realized while this might have contributed to the problem, it was not the entire issue, as he generally had no problem achieving (and keeping) an erection for oral sex... it was just when we tried to have regular sex that problems would arise.


    As for how to end a date? Shoot.... Depends on the date, and the girl. Maybe you should try some group outings with this girl, so you get more comfortable on a social level (and that way there's less pressure), then work toward an individual date.... But simply taking her home, giving her a gentle hug and maybe a few kisses, and telling her good night (and not just "I'll call you," but something more specific, so she knows you're actually interested) should suffice.
     
  14. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    but if the girl wants to bang, and I don't, she'll do that whole "whats wrong with me, why won't he bang me" stuff, and thats totally not the case. I feel like I am just fucked in this sittuation. Eventually I will have to get over it though, or die.
     
  15. neebelung

    neebelung Guest

    Ok, even if you weren't experiencing "technical difficulties," you are not REQUIRED to sleep with everyone woman you date... and if you're dating a girl and she's pressuring YOU for sex, it's no better than a guy doing the same to a girl. You should only be having sex once you're BOTH ready for it....

    However, I think you're not giving this girl enough credit... You haven't even gone out with her yet, and you're already worrying about the "what if"s. Relax. Go out with her. Enjoy yourself. Don't try to have sex with her for a while. Enjoy being with her, getting to know her... But quit obsessing about the what if's, cus it'll only make your problem worse.
     
  16. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    thanks, i feel like a god damn child again for some reason. I'm so wiggin out about graduating, like I am missing out on women right now, though there is propably no sense in starting a relationship if I am about to leave.
     
  17. neebelung

    neebelung Guest

    Graduation is far more important than women. There's always time for women later on!
     
  18. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    i talked to the shrink today, and it all makes sense...kinda. THanks for the help, my life is pure fucking insanity btw.
     
  19. Fishbait

    Fishbait Guest

    PAXIL CR

    i have had that problem in the past w/ each new girl i've been with... in my last serious relationship it went away by itself cuz i was just so damn horny and she was so damn hot. :rofl:

    some sort of low level anxiety medicine will certainly help you out too and then once you see your cack working at the right moments you forget the other shit which is just psyching yourself out.

    good luck!

    :bigthumb:
     
  20. 2LD

    2LD New Member

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    24? yeah 24 is a little too old but I think its your situation - once you graduate youll be on high and life will deflate back to normal. Youll be able to quiet your mind - sounds like its a mess right now. Dont worry about how to get out of the booty, if you worried about it just schedule some afternoon dates telling her that you got something to do that night like go spend time with your mother or study
     
  21. Tripp

    Tripp Guest

    hey man, do you smoke or drink. last summer i lived at my cabin and i had the same problem, I had all summer off from work and a shit load of money, and I turned into a piss tank. I smoked a pack of smokes and drank a case of beer a day, and my diet consisted of pizza pops and hot dogs. It didnt take too long before my equipment started acting up, first when I was drunk, then after a drink or two, then all together. This was pretty shitty considering I had a cabin at a prime lake. I gave my head a shake at the end of summer after having had a limpy w/ some smoking beach babes and have changed my life completly. Quit smoking, quit drinking, eat healthy, and workout like a mofo. Everything is now back to normal and I have never felt so good, but it was an embarrissing couple of weeks. just something to think about.
     
  22. raji

    raji New Member

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    yea same problem here my penis stays erect for a short time, like not even long enough for me to put my condom on unless i keep on jerking it. once jerking it stays erect is this normal?
     
  23. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    but in the mornings and shit, and up until sex, my shit will get rock hard.
     
  24. guchiew

    guchiew Increase your killing power.

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    Brought back to life. I've been having the same problem lately. it's like once the condom touches my penis, it'll scare the blood out of it. Then, it shrivels up smaller than usual. I hate that.

    My question is where do I go to get some Viagra or Cialis or whatever? Do I go to my family doctor to get the medicine, or will he refer me to a specialist?
     
  25. okita1

    okita1 Great spirits have always encountered violent oppo

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    from what ive been told the family doctor can prescribe it for you

    EDIT: holy crap old thread
     

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