FRK Any swingers?(question)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by djnarush, Nov 26, 2004.

  1. djnarush

    djnarush Pick Up Truck Drifter

    Jun 1, 2004
    Likes Received:
    ok, ive been with my GF for almost 9 years now..
    im 28, she is 38...

    i love her, the sex is good.. but i need variety..
    i have been surpressing my sexual frustrations for more than a few years now..

    i love her, but my sexual frustrations lead me to clinic depression, and mild to moderate stress. and now my doctor is about to put me on antideprestants

    i told her that i have to leave her for my own mental, and physical health..

    and now all of a sudden, she is pushing joining a swingers club...

    she views sex differantly than i do...
    but what ever.


    ive heard that you should have a stable relationship before joining a swingers club....

    does anyone have any experiance with this type of situation?
  2. mkevaldz

    mkevaldz New Member

    Oct 5, 2004
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    the Home of Humidity, TX
    motion to move this to the freaky shiat forum...
  3. projex240

    projex240 Guest

    I have a thread about this here, but ill reply to this to add a little of my thoughts.
    First, I cannot presume to judge what you mental or physical health is, but from what I can tell, there is more of a problem than just your appetite for sex with others.
    The "I need variety thing" isnt something wrong with you. There are many people that feel the same way, but there is something a little strange about how you let something like sex control so much of your life. Allowing it control you mental health is a little overboard to me. There are many other things in life that should demand that much of your time, attention and focus other than sex.
    If you are unhappy with sex with the same woman, then chalk it up to just settling down too soon. I see that this is a GF, and not a spouse, but after 9 years, marrige is only a few documents away and not much more. After that much time together you ARE living a married life, and there should have been plenty of time and opportunity to work these things out. Keeping it to yourself wasnt the right thing to do. I will say its not fair for her to have been in a 9 year relationship only to find out that you need to move on over something so petty as sex. I have been with my wife for 7 years and married for two. In two years, if my wife got sexually boring, or didnt even desire to have sex with me as much, or hardly ever, then guess what? The love I have for her would take precedence faster than I could blink. While sex is a very important componanat to any healthy relationship, it is not the end-all in the event that the spice in your sex life fades, or stops.
    Having said that,
    Joining a swingers club will not help your problems. It would only band-aid them until some more unapparent problem finally came to a head. Yes, you have to have a strong relationship with someone to fully enjoy swinging. The "lifestyle", while sexually based, is not based solely on that. There are mutual feelings that are nurtured. You dont just go to get your rocks off. While some people do it just for that reason, they usually tend to be the ones who dont swing for long, or that dont last in their relationships. Its for those who care about thier partners pleasure as much as thier own. They care that their partner is happy with whats happening. I wouldnt go to a swinging party with my wife, just to get there and go our seperate ways, find my own peice of ass, and then go have my fun, while not being concerned with how my wife was fairing. That would be the mentality of someone there only to have sex, and be done with it. If you want that, go pay a hooker. Dont dishonor the woman who loves you enough to allow her to change her ENTIRE sexual lifestyle just for you by treating it as a quick fix to getting variety in your sex life. After all, you never know, she may give it a shot and hate it, leaving you with what option? Being right back where you are now, just with a little more emotional baggage. Then not only have you still put yourself into a situation where you feel you still need to leave her to satisy your sexual craving, but you could hurt her more deeply than you most likely already have in the process.

    Good luck with your situation, I hope the best for you, and your GF.
    Just take a bit to re-think whats really important here, and whats really petty by comparison. You may find that the more importnant things will become much more apparent. After all, in the end, when your penis gets all puny and tired and not up to the task anymore, there still will be the desire to have someone there with you to LOVE. That desire never fades no matter what. Dont be an old man whos alone over something petty like this. IF you nurture this (what i think is) unhealthy obsession, then you may never get out of the mentality your in. And that, my freind would be a terrible waste of life, and love.

    Once again, good luck, and all the best.

  4. Zee

    Zee New Member

    Aug 25, 2002
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    Becker, MN
    Good post projex240.....

    Finding variety at a swing club wont help the posters situation...the realtionship should be solely based on variety of sex

    Swinging takes a stable trusting relations.....and what projex240 said about sums it up :bigthumb:

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