SRS any people here grow apart from their best friends? how did it happen?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Chau, Apr 10, 2010.

  1. Chau

    Chau if i wanted to kill you, i would've come in here s

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    how did it happen / why did it happen?

    me and one of my closest friends have been growing apart for like the past half year and its just gotten worse and worse.. trying to decide if i should try and work together to fix it or just let it be if they aren't going to try either. dont even know the specific reason as to why we've grown apart either lol :dunno:

    edit: also, if u realized u guys started growing apart, did u try to work on it to make it better or just let it be? and how come :o
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2010
  2. Pepe

    Pepe New Member

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    different priorities in life, meeting new people, changing morals

    i had a really tight group in high school, then we all went to different schools for undergrad and grew apart some more, then masters, law school, etc.

    heard someone once say "the more education you get, the less you will have in common with people you once did"
     
  3. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    She doesn't have any sense of self any more. I never know if the ideas or opinions she's expressing are hers or that of whichever controlling bf she has. Recently, she dumped all this bs on me & it completely pushed me away. None of it sounded like anything she's ever told me before so it either wasn't her own words or she's too much of a pussy to tell me what she thinks when she thinks it. I'm not keeping that kind of bullshit in my life.
     
  4. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    I moved away but we kept in touch. Then she started making ridiculous life decisions I didn't agree with, and tried to help her see her mistakes. Those choices in life I believe are what pulled us apart from the friendship we had for so many years. We are entirely different now.

    I'm married, have a house, good job, go to college, and am stable financially.

    She has 2 kids with two different guys, just broke off her engagement after sending invitations because she secretly wanted to be with someone else for 2+ years, dropped out of [high]school, brags about getting welfare to take care of the kids, and is always trying to find someone to live with.

    Tim, distance, and the different paths we chose for life have pretty much helped us grow apart faster.
     
  5. Teh Jebus

    Teh Jebus Active Member

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    I had a best friend when I was younger. Knew him since 2nd grade. I moved when I went into high school, we stayed friends, talked a lot. Then he got into drugs. Started smoking pot, then started getting into coke and heroine and anything he could play with. We talked about it one time, turned into him calling me a little bitch and a pussy for never trying any of it, and that ended that.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    People are super occupied nowadays, i think the word friend has lost its meaning in the sense of going from permanent friend, to momentarily friend, i think your friend is just sick of hanging around with you because it absorbs the little amount of time that your friend has, and this makes your friend feel unable to do their own thing this results in a feeling and a sense of imprisonment, this happens when you press yourself into someone elses life.

    While you are wondering oh why doesn't this person come to me, that person thinks, why isn't this person leaving me alone every now and then.

    The best thing to work it out is thru invitations. Instead of pressing, give that friend the 'freedom' to go into an invitation or not, if not and decline, no problem, if that friend accepts the invitation , fantastic. Its really a different way of approuch. You simply send an e-mail saying 'at thursday im going to the (xxx) do you want to come along? Its ok if you can't ,something something.

    By giving that friend a way to escape that friend will not feel bound by your invitation anymore. And that way you don't suppress your friend with your friendship.

    Just keep trying to invite on several occassions.
     
  7. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    Exactly how it is for me and one friend I am growing out of touch with. Also, the fact that I feel I "can't say no" without hurting feelings or, in some instances, getting angry responses, is another hindrance in me WANTING to be friends.

    It's like, you're my friend, you aren't my girl friend. I don't want to deal with this drama and bullshit and walking on glass with a girl friend, why would I want that with a male friend...?
     
  8. bluefox1081

    bluefox1081 New Member

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    My best friend and I haven't been really close recently. It's all because of his girlfriend. He's turned into like a stereotypical super-whipped married guy, but he's not married. His whole life is pretty much scheduled by what her schedule is like, he lives with her, and he hangs out with her family now. He seems to have no pride in his life, and is perfectly content on being controlled by her.
     
  9. weezyfbaby

    weezyfbaby New Member

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    ever think maybe he just enjoys time spent with her as compared to you at this point in his life?
     
  10. bluefox1081

    bluefox1081 New Member

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    That's not what I was getting at. I'm not talking about him not hanging out with me anymore. It's his whole attitude and the way he acts now. It's like a 50 year old man in a 26 year old's body. Even his own family said something to him about it not too long ago, about her and her family being controlling.

    HE even said something to me about it. Last summer, he was getting behind with schoolwork because he was going to her parents' beach house every weekend with her. He told me he wished he didn't have to go every weekend so he could get shit done. I said "well, tell her you can't go because you have shit to do." His response was, "you don't understand man...I can't just NOT go with her."

    He gave up hanging out with our group of friends, and hangs out with her dad and her uncles more now. He also hangs out with her sister and her sister's boyfriend (even though he seems to not like the guy too much). Whenever I try to make plans with him, I get the whole "oh, I don't know, I'll have to check if I'm doing anything then." If anyone in her family tries to make plans with him, it's pretty much a set date.

    Sure, you can say that he enjoys spending more time with them all you want. But I've known the guy for 20 years. I understand people change as they get older. But he's not even himself anymore.
     
  11. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    His gf cheated on him with me. :dunno:
     
  12. katt_85

    katt_85 OT Supporter

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    This girl and I were best friends since grade one. We started growing apart around when we were 17/18. She was living out of town, I was getting involved in partying and that wasn't her style.

    I still see her on face book every now and then and still consider her the closest thing I've ever had to a sister.
     
  13. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Or to put it a different way, you're a fucking tool that sleeps with his best friends girl instead of finding a girl for himself.

    You're pathetic and don't deserve to have friends.
     
  14. Legend Zero

    Legend Zero OT Supporter

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    steph?

    is that you?
     
  15. phoenix1105

    phoenix1105 OT Supporter

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    Signing in here.... for me it was my first really true love ~ 17 till I was 21. In the end i wanted more and she didn't. It was a horrible, terrible time for both of us, for different reasons. To this day, I am almost 28 for refrence, is seldom a day I dont think about here in something. Other girls have never come close when I have dated or whatever.... hope that helps...
     
  16. Kafka

    Kafka New Member

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    :slap: we don't make judgments here. constructive criticism or ban :nono:
     
  17. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    I had a good friend who ended up smoking pot, which I don't care about but he wasn't himself anymore. He did want to do anything, never had money, and didn't want to go out or do anything.

    I didn't see or talk for about a year in which I ended up chilling with another friend who was friends with both of us. Well he ended up being a douche along with another friend but he wasn't someone I'd really say I trusted. Well they talked shit behind my back all the time and gave me shit for enjoying what I do (smoking) but they could drink and get hammered and have the cops call on them and all kinds of shit. So that ended because I wanted to be me and they didn't want me to. Then all of a sudden my oldest was back to himself. He still smoked which like I said I was cool with but he was fun to be around and was Kevin again. He still doesn't have much money but thats really because he has an apartment, kid, g/f, car, ect ect.

    Yeah I've lost friends because they weren't good enough for me. They talked shit and it was also me being wrong. Well one day I said fuck them and did as I pleased and haven't looked back. I'm glad I'm friends with the friend I have and trust him as if he was family. Been friends for 11 years now. I'm only 22.
     
  18. Los

    Los Active Member

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    She's a DM in Tulsa, I'm an MBA student in central Indiana. :dunno:
     
  19. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    :dunno:

    Shit happens.
     
  20. AlcoLOLic

    AlcoLOLic New Member

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    I grew apart from my besty because he turned into a fuckwit after he got married.
     
  21. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    :ugh2:
    You're an idiot....that has never been a rule here.
     
  22. Neenersoad

    Neenersoad New Member

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    i had this problem with my best friend, a couple years ago. we had been growing apart, and it was really bugging me. so when he invited me to come live with him in a new apartment, i jumped on it, figuring that distance was the reason our friendship was deteriorating.
    BAD IDEA. it turns out that it wasn't distance, it was his girlfriend. she was NUTS. like, going into self harming psychotic tantrums if he didn't spend every available moment with her. and when i brought this up to him, telling him that he deserved better than that nutjob, he told me to deal with it or move the fuck out.
    so, long story short, if your friends are drifting away, DEAL WITH IT. it's probably a good thing.
     
  23. Rellik

    Rellik New Member

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    for me its when i got tired of getting tooled and treated like shit.. now i dont really have any friends at all, i guess thats the price you pay
     
  24. CalicoJackie

    CalicoJackie New Member

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    People change, that's why people grow apart.
    My best friend and I grew apart. We stopped talking.
    Then I found out she was using her massive whore mouth to blab my business.
     
  25. oakback

    oakback New Member

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    "Best friend" since childhood.

    I finished high school, went to college, had a kid and got married, had another kid, got my own house, good regular desk jobs.

    Best friend got his GED, dropped out of community college, got tattoos all over his body, started "working" in a tattoo shop in exchange for tattoos and sleeping in their back room, dealt drugs for awhile, never owned a car, dressed like fucktard, and got the reputation of being constantly angry. I haven't talked to him in several years now.
     

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