FRK Any Experiences with the Military and Open Relationships?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by nexusgirl, Apr 12, 2009.

  1. nexusgirl

    nexusgirl New Member

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    Hey all!

    My husband recently joined the military and even more recently he and I have been talking about opening up our relationship.

    One issue we're wondering about, however, is whether or not he could get in trouble for this.

    I know-- I thought the questions sounded funny myself when he brought it up, but apparently he had a friend in the Army who was a E6 and while separated from his wife slept with a few other women and by the time he left the Army was a E2 due to this.

    Now, we're not entirely sure any other details of the situation (for example, his wife could have told his commander he was committing adultery even though it was originally agreed they could sleep with others...or heck, they could have agreed NOT to see others while separated and he really WAS cheating) but we just wanted to get any and all stories before opening our mouths about this around others that may take it back to the powers that be.

    Thanks for any input!
     
  2. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    In the UCMJ, it is unlawful for a soldier to have sexual relations with another woman other than his wife. It is also unlawful for him to sleep with a married woman, even if he is single. You can get in trouble for it, but it's not likely if all parties are consenting, and shit doesn't go bad. If someone who has a grudge against him finds out they could snitch... etc. etc. etc.

    In short, yes, he can get in trouble, though risk may be variable depending on individual situations and circumstances.
     
  3. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    On a quick side note: It is also against the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice) to have sexual relations with anyone in any position other than missionary. This includes anal, doggy, blowjobs, handjobs, cunnilingus, etc... Usually not enforced unless someone gets into trouble in the first place, and more dirt comes out.... then they'll just tack on the extra charges if they're trying to fuck that soldier up as much as they can. All of those are considered Sodomy by the UCMJ, and is illegal. Even Taking freaky pics and posting on the web can land you in some hot water under Conduct Unbecoming a Soldier/Officer/Marine/NCO etc.
     
  4. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    Le Sigh.

    Yes, he can, as Sociopath pointed out, technically get in trouble through the UCMJ. However, this scenario is HIGHLY unlikely (despite your SO's associates experience). Reason being? Well, 99.9% of the Military could ALL be brought up on charges of violating the UCMJ just from their sexual practices with their own spouse, or their non-spouse for those that are unmarried. It's very very very rare to be brought up on charges for this except in certain circumstances. One is such as Sociopath described, the other is if he is found to have an STD/STI during his yearly testing.

    That's right. If he tested negative during intake, and then during his yearly physical is found to have an STD/STI, he can be brought up on charges due to violation of the UCMJ. Yes, it can be possible for the non-military spouse to be the "cheater" and the one who initial contracted the infection, but then the JAG would have to prove that. It's not common for JAG to actually take action for something like that, tho, since they can't neccesarily prove which party was the one in violation (and as a Civilian, with certain exceptions, you don't have to follow the UCMJ). Unless your Spouse is a real A-hole and they are trying to find ways to cut him loose or nail his ass to the wall, even this should not be a problem. Just don't live in Housing and expect to be able to put a sign of support anywhere visible (even on your POV) for either party during an election year ;)

    Now, that said, I know of several Military members who have "open" relationships with their spouses and some who are even swingers. Many have been living this lifestyle for years with no repricussions. Discretion is key. If you live in housing, don't allow your secondary partner into your home. This prevents nosy neighbors (and trust me, nosy neighbors is the norm in housing!) from making assumptions and yes, they WILL make assumptions. Don't make your lifestyle/relationship choice known to other Military members. This also prevents any trouble from brewing up unintentially later on down the road.
     
  5. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  6. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    :h5:
     
  7. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    Military livin... almost 7 years now. :h5:
     
  8. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    He's been in 6 years in June. We've only recently opened our relationship up after a long struggle to figure out what's right for us and what's not. This included seperating 2 months prior to a 7-month deployment, waiting until 2 weeks after he got back to have him move back in and deciding an "open" relationship is what worked best for us.

    I'm curious too.
     
  9. nexusgirl

    nexusgirl New Member

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    Thanks to everyone for your replies!

    My husband's in the reserves but works full time on base in a government position so we don't have to worry about housing and some of those things.



    As for your question on what kind of "open" we're talking about-- We're really "open" to anything. ;)

    Originally we talked about threesomes and discussed swinging. With the determination my husband's only really interested in mmf threesomes and he'd want to be close friends with the couple before swinging.
    More recently we've determined that, though we're still very much open to these things, I tend to feel more polyamorous (with one particular guy in mind who is well aware of my husband's and my conversations and seems to also be open to this) and my husband would just like to experience a variety of girls.

    Hope that summation made sense! Always open for questions too if you have more!
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2009
  10. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    Do you have any interest in women? I ask because my poly relationship involves a couple...

    I hope you will continue to post as things progress. Your situation would be different that the rest of us in non-traditionals and it is always nice for those who are contemplating these kind of relationships to have some to ask questions of.

    Thanks very much for sharing!!! :wavey:
     
  11. Jbrown

    Jbrown OT Supporter

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    Secretly enjoying this thread. :eek3:
     
  12. NYM3

    NYM3 Is this teal life or is it....fanta-sea?

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    I have nothing to add really, but come back and let us know how it goes and share some stories :naughty:

    good luck:bigthumb:
     
  13. nexusgirl

    nexusgirl New Member

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    I have always been curious about being with women but never had a relationship closer than a cuddling/caressing friend.

    I check the FS forums every day anymore (actually the only thing I'm on offtopic for), so I'd be happy to post. However, I'm not very good at just randomly talking about myself/situations; I'm much better with Q&A...hence why I'm mostly just a lurker :hsugh:.

    Happy to share! And I'll work on doing more of it. :)
     
  14. gti1311

    gti1311 New Member

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    only thing i have to add to this is to just make sure you are 110% open and honest with your partner about what you each want and think of what the other one wants. the hardest part of making an open/swinging/poly situation work is the jealousy that can result from not being open and honest with talks.

    with my SO, we talk in length after every time we play with another couple or girl. we about about what we like and what we disliked about all of it. if you do this you will find that your communication levels with every aspect of your relationship will go through the roof. also your personal sex life with your SO will be better too from my own personal experience.

    GL

    :cheers:
     
  15. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    Truth!!! :bigthumb:
     

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