Any advice?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by steel sparky, Nov 23, 2007.

  1. steel sparky

    steel sparky New Member

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    Well, I've never really posted in here but have been a long time reader and thought I made good decisions for myself but, recently, I think I may need some advice.

    Well first the back story: When I was in high school I began dating this girl, lets call her Jenn. Anyways Jenn and I dated all through high school untill our senior year. Well, Jenn and I had this friend, Sandy, that would always hang out with us and she really was a best friend of mine. Anways, Sandy had a thing for me but I never persued untill Jenn and I broke up for a summer. Things were good with Sandy and I, and I eventually took her virginity. Well, being the young dumb kid I was back then Jenn wanted to get back together, and I acutally did. Well, as you could imagine, the friendship was never the same, Jenn and I eventually broke up for good, and we all graduated and went our seperate ways.

    Fast forward about 3 years: This past June, I go to a bar that my buddy works at after work to get a beer, and it just so happens Sandy is there celebrating her 21st bday. It was somewhat akward for a few mins but we got to talking and I told her how young and stupid I was for what I did to her, told her I still think about her from time to time, and she actually said she had feelings for me to this day but she just started dating someone. Anyways, we're catching up, doing shots, having a good time, and she starts coming on to me when her bf leaves to have a smoke. I didnt think anything of it, she was wasted and it was really a confusing meeting. Anyways she leaves and I didnt really ever expect anything. Then about a week ago, I ran into her at another bar, we talk more about that night, more about our past which is more in depth now that we're not drunk as hell. She had just broken up with her bf because he works all time time and she was newly single. We go outside, we're all alone, and outta the blue I said "What if I kissed you right now?" She said, "You wouldn't." Well, I did and we start getting heavy and decide to goto her house. We ended up have some pretty passionate sex, just like when we were first together. I leave and told her I would call her the next day. I call and say whats up, and wanted to talk about the night before. That night she was really all over me and seemed interested. I said, well, about last night I was confused weather or not you just wanted to stay friends or maybe start a relationship. She said she wants to stay friends, shes had too many bfs for too long. But here's my dilema: I've totally fallin for this girl all over again. She makes me feel like I'm 16 years old and theres no care in the world. Now, I'm in Florida for the week, and said I'd call her when I get back. What should I say to her now? I dont want to tell her I've fallen for her when she's already said she doesnt want a bf right now. And I think it would be strange being around her as friends because of the feelings I have for her. I guess im just confused by why she slept with me after so long, and after leaving her bf. Any advice would be grealty appreciated.
     
  2. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    Honestly I'd just hang out with her and treat her like any girl and hide your true feelings and see what kind of person she has become.
     
  3. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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  4. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    I'd forget about her. She told you she doesnt want a relationship.
     
  5. steel sparky

    steel sparky New Member

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    I agree with the no sex part, but I'm just confused by this entire situation. She's 21, and only had sex with 4 people, including me. She only sleeps with guys she is dating. Why would she sleep with me if she really didnt have feelings? I wanna call her but I think I've already been served.
     
  6. steel sparky

    steel sparky New Member

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    Yeah, thats alot easier said than done my friend. But I'll take it into consideration.:hsd:
     
  7. steel sparky

    steel sparky New Member

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    Yeah this was my first reaction, but I let her get away 3 years ago, I dunno if I want to now..:o
     
  8. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    i mean id still be fuckin her of course. But i wouldnt fall head over heels for a girl you havent known for years.

    she could be a whole different person.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Do NOT tell her how much you care about her right now. She's told you flat out she doesn't want a "bf." To be honest, you've hit what most guys would consider a gold mine. This girl would most likely be your fuck buddy....if you can't handle that and truly can only fathom a relationship or nothing with her then you have to cut yourself off from her.

    Shit, if I were you I'd just eat my feelings and go with the flow with her. You can still practically be a couple without the title you know.
     
  10. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    see my advice isnt as far out of line as you guys give me credit for.
     
  11. steel sparky

    steel sparky New Member

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    This is very true, most of the people I've graduated are very different now. I've asked her what she does now and says about the same. She wants to go to school for anything and I've tried tell her about many opportunities, especially bc her parents are divorced and lives on a low income. We did have a moment talking about ourselves and realized we're almost one in the same, it was really odd. But I think your right, just hang out, see where it goes, and hope for the best.
     
  12. steel sparky

    steel sparky New Member

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    Your also correct, she said she doesnt want one right now, and just getting out of a relationship I can see why she would say that. Also, when we were first together, now that I think about it, we were just fuck buddies, called each other in the wee hours of the night for some action. I guess I'll just have to go back to that mentality, because then I could care less about her because I had just gotten out of a relationship, but she wanted me so badly. Ohhh how the tables have turned...:hsd:
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well it's always easy for someone to not want what is readily available to them. Put it this way...I'm almost positive (because I've been that girl before) if you didn't call her as much, or if you did see her you didn't act that into her or made your relationship very lax-she would start to want you as her "boyfriend." All it is is a title though. You can still hang out with this girl, go out on dates, have sex most likely as if you are a couple and she might just come along because the fact of the matter is that she has feelings for you. Some girls feel they should be single if they date too much, but then the right guy comes along and they forget all about that power struggle. This is the story especially for me and my current SO. We started dating with absolutely nothing serious in mind (just coming out of big relaitonships) and a year and a half later we are extremely happy and glad that we dated for so long and took our time to fall in love with one another.
     
  14. steel sparky

    steel sparky New Member

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    Well, the first time I saw her was on her 21st, in June, when she was first starting to date this guy. The second time was about a week from today. I should have been more clear on that.


    First, I agree, that would be freaky. But sometimes I wonder because alcohol was involved both times and I know that she is the really shy type.


    This is the kind of advice I've been taking from this thread and appreciate it. I haven't talked to her in over a week, I'm on vacation, back on Sunday, might not talk to her until I have some time off work and school. I suppose I tend to overthink things sometimes, its just the way I am, and I dont think it helps I've been out of the game for awhile. Also, its hard for me to meet girls because I'm a work and school from 8am-11pm M-F and working weekends. Anyways, thanks again.
     
  15. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    Obviously not
     
  16. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    :rofl::bowdown:
     
  17. Gillzeebub

    Gillzeebub New Member

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    she had sex with u coz she needed a rebound and she has history with u so she feels comfortable. dont confess ur undying love but dont rule out the possibility of anything either
     
  18. fray

    fray New Member

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    I would think more she only had sex with guys she has a relationship with...and she has/had one with you, regardless of what it is. You're comfortable, you're old, and you probably bring up old feelings.
     
  19. steel sparky

    steel sparky New Member

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    Maybe taking the v-card is an instant score?!:noes:
     
  20. steel sparky

    steel sparky New Member

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    Yeah, just gonna see how it goes. I'm not going to tell her how I feel about her now.
     
  21. steel sparky

    steel sparky New Member

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    Yeah, she was saying how we should get together more, since hs is over we never hung out, so I'll see how it goes.
     

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