Any advice for rebound guys?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by BATMANs, Jun 3, 2007.

  1. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    I'm seeing a gal that is trying to get over a relationship with an affair that she had with a married guy.

    3rd date we were kissing.

    4th we were in bed, I had my dickhead in and she told me to back out so that we won't "ruin" a good thing.

    then she takes off for 5 weeks outta country and is back now.

    where do I go from here.
     
  2. Capt. Hammer

    Capt. Hammer PM me for rates on express consent. OT Supporter

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    You had your dickhead in, eh?
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    If this is a serious topic....

    End the relationship and go find a better woman.
     
  4. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    she's a model and has other qualities that are redeeming (not gold digger, etc....)
     
  5. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    She only wanted to play "just the tip"
     
  6. i_is_surf

    i_is_surf New Member

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    Who was she banging when she was out of the country for 5 weeks??

    And what qualities?

    Think about this: She was in a relationship with a MARRIED GUY who obviously didn't leave his wife for her. She's TRYING TO GET OVER said relationship.

    It's one thing if it's going to be a casual fling.. But if you are looking farther down the road, do you want to be with someone who was partly responsible for ruining a marriage - I.E.; If/when you guys get married are you going to care when she is banging some other guy behind your back?

    So as you said, she is "trying to get over another relationship" which means she is using you...

    Think about what you want out of this.....

    But, I concur with MattThom01; if this is a serious topic, stop thinking with your little head and use your big one.
     
  7. Capt. Hammer

    Capt. Hammer PM me for rates on express consent. OT Supporter

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    I wonder how many other dickheads she's had in her
     
  8. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    She's wasn't banging anyone in the 5 weeks with her folks.

    The married guy didn't tell her that he was married until they banged it out.

    His reason is that his wife of 11 years doesn't want to have kids.

    She told me that she knows that relationship can't continue.
     
  9. SQLee

    SQLee The OTer That Cares™

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    Doesn't sound like girlfriend material, especially at the moment. So play another game of just the tip, but this time shove it all in.
     
  10. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    i think if you had played your cards better you could have played more than just the tip
     
  11. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    What do you want from her
     
  12. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    I should have been a little more assertive.
     
  13. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    A relationship.



    Hard to describe, but there is just something about her that clicks with me from the short time that we have known each other.

    One word that comes to mind is that she is passionate. Not just a sex thing, but how she conducts herself in everyday life.

    I do have to be more careful in what I say to her. She is very in tuned with her ears and every little word is dissected. It's a double-edged sword.
     
  14. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    She won't tell me the exact number, but had less than 10 guys in her life since she started sex at age 15. She just turned 30.

    past 7 years only had 3 BFs + this one affair.

    The thing is that she's only known this guy for 5 months. They met as business professionals and it grew from there. Somehow this guy got to her soul is has rooted himself as a very possible soulmate.

    I need/want to displace him from that thrown.
     
  15. nygiantplaya

    nygiantplaya I

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    advice for rebound guy? dont be the rebound guy...
     
  16. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    i'm aware of that, but have developed feelings for her alot quicker than I normally would.
     
  17. nygiantplaya

    nygiantplaya I

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    well just make sure shes not just using you for sex or to make someone jealous.
     
  18. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    But apparently respect for the sanctity of marriage is not one of her redeeming qualities...
     
  19. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    she not.

    3 days after we first met she said she had a dream about us kissing.

    Later on she asked if I was interested in coming to her 30th b-day party.

    This guy that she was having an affair with wasn't invited.

    Both him and I are curious about each other and she's making a good effort in not having us bump into each other.
     
  20. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    Hmmm..... She didn't know at first, but when she found out she talked to the wife and told her that she didn't know. They never met, but things are cool between the 2.

    She told me that she knows it won't work out, and that it's bad Karma for her to pursue, but there is something inside her that he left that is tearing her up. She confessed that if it were possible (ie- him not being married), she would marry him.

    Since she's been back, she hasn't activated her cell number, didn't let him know that she is back in town. He's been emailing her some nastygrams and accusing her that she was using him. I told her that his true colors are coming out.

    I think she is really trying to get him outta her soul/mind, but I think I am getting caught up in some "reset" mode where she's telling me that we should just be "friends" and that she was sorry that night was her way of trying to get him outta her mind.

    I think she still has feelings for me and I want to be there with her while she rides out this recovery process.

    I just don't want to get stuck on this friends ladder.....
     
  21. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    That's a tough one. On the one hand, if you're there for her too much you'll get stuck in the friend zone while she cries about some other guy. On the other hand if you give her space she might move on from both of you, not just him. I say stay in her life but don't become an emotional support.

    I'm kind of wondering why you'd really want to remain/become more attached to someone who seems to have some important issues to work out. If she's really in a place where she'd want to marry this guy (if he weren't married of course), why are you even trying?
     
  22. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    some how i just feel this connection with her.

    Never have with ANY gals in my life.

    And it was an early one too.

    Plus we see eye to eye on alot of beliefs like politics, religon, etc.

    The hiccup is with this guy.

    No one or no dating situation is perfect. Her redeeming qualities, for now are overriding this bump in the road.

    She doesn think more subjective, emotionally, and spiritually than any gal that I have been with. Very woman.

    She's not very consistent.

    One minute she's telling me that she doesn't want to be in any relationship or date with anyone.

    A day later she tells me that she's dating other guys.

    Is she really dating other guys or trying to tell me something else?

    Is she pushing me away or testing to see if I'm the guy that can weather tough times?

    She thinks I am a "player" since I'm a very smooth talker and have confidence.
     
  23. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    SHe thinks that I am too intelligent for her and that I come from a solid and loving family.

    Bottom line is that she thinks that I am too good for her.

    SO what give?
     
  24. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    The problem is, that's not a small "hiccup" you've got there. From her lack of consistency it seems like she's not a place to have anything stable with you (or anyone else for that matter). From a chick's perspective, I don't think she's testing you. If a girl wants to test a guy (which I think is wrong anyway) she isn't going to tell him that she's seeing other people. For your own emotional health it seems like you just need to take a step back and let her figure herself out before you try something. You don't want to be attached to someone who's just going to drag you through the mud. Tell her flat out that you care about her but she needs to figure her life out and she can call you when she does. She'll respect you for sticking up for yourself and for being honest about your feelings. You have to act like you deserve someone great to get someone great. If you put up with her shit she'll think that's what you're worth.
     
  25. Brian May

    Brian May New Member

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    you're going to be in a world of hurt if you get serious with this woman
     

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