another relationship problem...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by mightymike, Aug 23, 2005.

  1. mightymike

    mightymike New Member

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    k, i been with this girl now for 9months. i moved in with her though a month after i meet her (personal reasons with family). everything has been so good, i love the girl. we just got back from hawaii n everything. now what the problem is, is that we're on the verge of breakin up because she doesnt think its right that i have friends that are girls and i want to hang out with them.

    she doesn't want me hanging out with one of my friends who i've known for 6years, i once said to my gf that my friend is a hot girl cause a reason i wont get into(not important, but it was 2months into our relationship) but that ticked her off and i didnt mean to in that way. so i know that was my mistake. but now like my friend emailed me and just said she misses me since we havent talked for like 3months n shit and my girlfriend found out about this and flipped! and said "GO FUCK HER THEN! THIS IS FUCKIN BULLSHIT! SNEAKING BEHIND MY BACK TO HANG OUT WITH HER" but if i didnt do this behind her back, i would've still got shit on. its happened already. (also i never hung out with her..so there wasnt really any SNEAKIN! i just didnt want her to flip over a friend.)

    so the problem is, she said she wont change and doesnt want me hanging out with girls unless shes around, or their boyfriends are around. even if they're just good friends of mine, and i said FINE I'LL STOP TALKING TO THEM and she said "no dont bother, you'll be mad and i dont want that. so dont bother"

    so what the fuck do i do?? she said its over, but i said no! we'll talk about it tonight when she gets out of work. but im kinda scared...:wtc: how if its over cause of me just having friends???? that happen to be just girls?!

    i never cheated, beat, did anything mean to her ever. and this is what i get?? do i really have to stop talking to my friends and lose friendships over a relationship??

    any advice. sorry about the shitty parapgrahs n shit. just so frustarated!

    also we got a year lease together, we're on 2months now...
     
  2. Jimmycrackcorn

    Jimmycrackcorn OT Supporter

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    How would you feel if she had male friends and saw them without having you around?
     
  3. DagoRcR

    DagoRcR OT Supporter

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    werd,

    although your motives are right and clean, she doesn't know. Offer a double date so that your gf can see how you and the friend are just that, friends. Let her come along if you want to keep them both.
     
  4. veonake

    veonake OnT poster, OT lurker

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    It's immature of her to not allow you to have friends of a particular sex. Surely she has some male friends? The problem here is trust. It doesn't to me you've given her a reason to lose trust, but maybe you aren't telling the whole story. The fact is, if she had 100% trust in you, she wouldn't care if you hung out with female friends. Because, she knows your interest is in the friendship, not in getting in their pants. This is definitely a case where you should choose friends who have been there for you for much longer than this girl has. I mean, is losing friends you've known for years worth it to satisfy a girl you're probably not going to end up marrying?

    About the lease, bad situation but you might be able to sublease it to someone else.
     
  5. Jimmycrackcorn

    Jimmycrackcorn OT Supporter

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    Well i'm not saying that. I am just asking for his perspective on how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. If he wouldn't care then he has a right to be mad. If it would bother him a little, then he should change his perspective.
     
  6. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Many factors are bad in this relationship....

    Short and simple, there is no trust, move on. She's an emo gurl.

    *looks in to crystal ball*
    I only see pain and angst in your future if you stay with this girl.
     
  7. YouDon'tKnowMe

    YouDon'tKnowMe New Member

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    Sounds like she might be insecure.

    Although, coming from a girl, I can see how you hanging out with other girls is threatening. I'm not sure that her reaction is entirely normal though. Something else must be going on.
     
  8. DagoRcR

    DagoRcR OT Supporter

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    right, I was just speaking for the fact that she already is insecure with it
     
  9. dscallaway69

    dscallaway69 New Member

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    yeah if she doesn't trust you there is no hope for the relationship. Have you given her a reason not to trust you. This couldn't have just came on out of the blue. If that is the case then yeah I would definetely roll out
     
  10. prodigy33

    prodigy33 New Member

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    i gave up most of my friends for my SO other once, and will never do it again. worse mistake i could have ever made! trust me it isnt worth it!
     
  11. Original

    Original OT Supporter

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    Couldn't have said it better myself :hsd:
     

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