SRS another question about a girl

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Pepe, Jul 1, 2009.

  1. Pepe

    Pepe New Member

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    although it is a bit complex....


    anyways, a little background info
    - i am 25
    - moving to california from michigan in dec/jan, attending grad school out there
    - was in a long distance relationship for 2 1/2 years early in undergrad, moved home and continued the relationship (off and on for another 3 years)


    anyways, i really have no problem meeting, hooking up with, or being around girls. my issue is relationships. ever since i got out of my long relationship (about 2 years ago), i just have absolutely no desire to date or be in anything serious until i'm done with grad school (probably around 30). well last year, i started working this part time job just for cash on the side with one of my friends (she is female). her sister started working in the summer and we immediately hit it off. we always worked together, got along great, hang out outside of work, flirt, text a lot, facebook stupid stuff, etc. anyways, she went to school away from where i lived, and sort of was in her college "bubble". my sister went to the same school as her, and i visited a couple times just to hang out, party, and just normal college stuff. somehow we ALWAYS ended up meeting up, hanging out, but never anything past that.

    so over the past year or so, i have honestly just been crazy about this girl. half of me wishes i would have met her 3 or 4 years down the road, and the other half of me just says fuck it, go for it now because its not worth waiting. the problem is/was that she was on and off with this guy at school who legitimately was a huge douche bag. one of my friends from HS is a pretty big dealer at the school, and mentioned in passing that the guy is always buying coke from him, as well as other shit. this girl is not anything like that, and i'm pretty much 99.9% certain that she has no clue he did that stuff. well they broke up a few days ago for good, and i can't stop thinking about this girl.

    i'm just really not sure what to do. i'm concentrating really hard on finishing my undergrad and keeping my GPA above a 3.8 for graduation, taking an LSAT prep course, and working on an internship as well as helping out with family obligations. i also don't really see the point in attempting to start something right now with this girl when i will be leaving the state in roughly 6 months time. the problem is i just am not the type of person who lets an opportunity sit around, and i HATE having regrets. i go back and forth about how i should approach this, if at all, countless times every day, and i am definitely not someone to let a girl alter my thought process.

    so like i said, i don't really want a gf right now, nor do i have time, but i just can't imagine letting an opportunity like this pass me by, because who knows if i'll have another shot. this girl, to me, is really that top notch type that is worth it. right now i'm debating between three options

    1. just telling her how i feel, and seeing where that takes me
    2. not saying anything at all, keep doing what i'm doing, and see where the future takes us
    3. tell her how i feel, but also tell her that i am leaving in < 6 months and that if she wants, i want to try to make something happen in the future.

    so, any advice is greatly appreciated. i'm not normally one to ask for advice like this, as girls really have never been an issue in my life, but this one is just throwing me for a huge loop. thanks.
     
  2. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    My advice is to let it be. Stay the current course. (Number 2)
     
  3. OniMinion

    OniMinion ...recalls when this forum was actually about cars OT Supporter

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    I agree. Even if you did tell her, it takes awhile for the heart to mend (no matter how big a douche bag). You're better off not being the rebound since it's clear you'd like something serious. The voice inside you head saying "I wish it were x years down the road..." is correct. It's too soon.
     
  4. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Got nothing to lose telling her really, if she rejects you not a big deal b/c you'll be moving anyway and won't have to see her if she feels the same you won't have to regret not telling her :dunno:
     
  5. summer1547

    summer1547 New Member

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    Number 3 definitely.

    1. You'll have no regrets in wondering what could've been.
    2. She will know how you feel and if she does feel anything remotely the same then you guys have time to continue working on getting to know each other. She has time to mend as previously stated.
    3. If she doesn't feel the same than you are away and you won't have to worry.

    Go for the Gold. Live life rather than contemplating it.
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You know, there's really no time like the present for living your life.

    If you like this girl, and are insanely into her, as you say, then go ahead and begin that path.

    It may not lead where you expect it to. It may end prematurely (in your eyes). It may be fantastic.



    As I get older, I realize the only thing I really truly regret, is not taking action when I could have.



    All the energy spent debating on the sidelines...I advise you put that into living your life with love, with energy, with gusto, and with great satisfaction that you have tasted fully what life is offering you.

    Note that I am NOT suggesting you act with wild or reckless abandon. You sound intelligent, and so I trust you gather my meaning.



    And ultimately...if not this girl...that's fine. Another will appear in your path.

    good luck.
     
  7. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    # 3

    go for it. don't wait around for "what if's." tell her how you feel. you really have nothing to lose, imo.
     
  8. Pepe

    Pepe New Member

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    thanks for the advice. probably going to hang out with her this weekend. this is not something i'm just going to throw out there whenever, but i'm going to take the #3 approach. hopefully the time will be right at some point and i can let her know how i feel.
     
  9. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Good for you...that's the spirit.

    And don't bother with crafting the "perfect approach" or waiting for a "perfect moment"...which never comes.

    Just be charming, nice, honest, and relaxed.

    If she's into you...you basically only need to smile and take her hand.
    It's just that simple.
     
  10. Pepe

    Pepe New Member

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    yah i hear ya, its just i'm not in a rush to do this (as i don't want/need a relationship right now). definitely not waiting for the perfect moment, but i'm not just gonna throw it out there the minute i see her either. we get along great like i said, so i'm sure it will be no problem.
     

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